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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to uninvite my friend

355 replies

Kallo · 04/08/2018 18:43

Name changed for this as it's quite specific.

Last night I was out with a group of mates, at an event where a couple I am friends with were also attending. Let's call them Bob and Margaret.

After the event me and my mates were going for a drink, I invited Bob and Margaret along. Bob was too tired but Margaret wanted to come along so Bob left and she waited with me for the others. Really I prefer Bobs company, although we have always socialised as a three. I decided to encourage Margaret to go home after Bob, and said I would see them in the week. She took the hint and went to catch up with Bob.

About 20 minutes later I got a text from Bob asking me that that was all about, and why I had treated Margaret that way. Margaret didn't contact me

Bob is the more extroverted of the two so I really thought it might be awkward or difficult with just her. She didn't look upset or anything she just said ok. They now don't want to see me for something we had planned this week.

I think I made the right call really and reckon I didn't have much choice, but now I think I have lost my friendship with Bob.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/08/2018 17:53

Seriously, Peckham, you get men thrusting their shy partners at you and asking you to be their friend?
They don’t know you very well themselves, I’d assume?!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/08/2018 17:55

You suggested she explain, cleaner? Op’s explanation for why she did it isn’t any nicer than yours...

RedDogsBeg · 05/08/2018 18:03

This site should be called "nasty pieces of shit see how far you can go hiding behind your screen". What a perfect description of the 'hiding behind a name change OP' cleanerupper, but I'm guessing that's not what you meant, is it?

Igorina · 05/08/2018 18:04

Why would they need to ask you to be nice to their partners? Confused

cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 18:07

Greyhound groomer have you ever heard of not telling the whole truth or rolling a turd in glitter???? There are ways of apologising without making the whole situation worse. God you're so literal 😂😂. empathy goes a long way. She's done the wrong thing after a few drinks so what 🙄 get over it or of course you could carry on being a bully, that's big of you.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/08/2018 18:09

whaaat? What bullying has Greyhound been doing?

cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 18:13

Here we go....

PeckhamPauline · 05/08/2018 18:14

Why would they need to ask you to be nice to their partners?

Well I would normally have no intention of "being nice" in that way, e.g.,standing there making chit chat with them in the pub rather than having an interesting conversation with my own friends. Going out shoe shopping with them at the weekends. Inviting them to girls' nights out so their awkwardness could be foisted on all my other friends. One chap even wanted a group of us to invite his gf on holiday with us!

cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 18:18

&PeckhamPauline 👍

Igorina · 05/08/2018 18:34

AKA meeting new people? Small talk and chit-chat is generally how people get to know each other in the beginning.

It just sounds strangely insular.

Obviously, men suggesting their partners go on holiday with you is not on but I would find it very odd if any of my male friends had to ask me to "be nice" to their partners upon meeting them.

I would assume that they thought I didn't make a great first impression, to be honest.

RedDogsBeg · 05/08/2018 18:49

PeckamPauline If you read the OP's first post it clearly states:

"a couple I am friends with" and "we have always socialised as a three"

so no indication that Bob was the 'original' friend and that Margaret was some kind of later addition that the OP was automatically expected to be nice to.

MadMags · 05/08/2018 19:16

The thread has now attracted that particular brand of “look at me, I’m so edgy that I disagree with everyone” poster, who will throw out “lols” and insults thinking they’re being hilarious and original, and desperately trying to wind everyone up.

It’s so odd. Sad, really. Some people do get their kicks in a weird (pathetic) way.

LyndorCake · 05/08/2018 20:39

Genuine question here... Why do people use the laughing emoji when they're trying to make someone else feel stupid? Surely you would have a bigger impact if you used your words rather than hiding behind an emoji? It's almost trying too hard to show how funny you find everything...

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/08/2018 20:43

Wow, I’ve just come back to this! Bullying? Confused. I don’t think so.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 05/08/2018 20:45

Name change fail, OP? And yes, your behaviour was bullying.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/08/2018 20:51

No, I was accused of bullying earlier.

By someone who found it 😂😂😂, so I presume they’re on the windup.
But they could just be plain thick, of course.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 05/08/2018 20:54

Oh my mistake! Apologies Smile

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/08/2018 20:56

No worries. I suspect there may be a few name changers on the thread alright. It just isn’t me Smile

Devilishpyjamas · 05/08/2018 20:59

I went to know how you ‘encouraged’ Margaret to go home, but cba to read the whole thread if it isn’t answered.

MonaLisaSimpson · 05/08/2018 21:46

It hasn't been answered.

Devilishpyjamas · 05/08/2018 23:06

Thank you! Glad I didn’t plough through it all then!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 06/08/2018 00:16

I'm incredibly discomforted by this thread now.

To be clear, I think the OP behaved horribly, but way back - on around page 5 or so, I asked her if she was ok. We're now on, what, page 14? And still posters are lining up to tell her in varying ways what a cunt she is. I'm not talking about the posters who relate to Margaret, and tell their stories because their experiences all add to the thread. But person after person who's just posting to find an additional way to tell the OP how horrible she is, what are you actually adding to the conversation? Did the previous 300, 400,500 people not say that already? Do you think piling in on someone in this way proves you're a nicer person than she is?

I'll say again, what OP did was horrible.

Being the eleventy hundred person to tell her this does NOT make you the nicer human being.

If you've ever wondered who those people were who went to public hangings to jeer and cheer, let me tell you, it was you.

Read tale of two cities about the power of the mob. Read so you've been publicly shamed by Jon Rosen. And then think of the human being reading your post.

The OP is long gone, and rightly so. She did a horrible thing. But she's been handed her arse in a way most posters on this thread will avoid

Seriousquestion09 · 06/08/2018 00:30

Is OP 5

Summerthunder · 06/08/2018 00:34

You sound like an awful person. You’re oblivious to how your actions make someone else feel. It makes me wonder what other really nasty things you do obliviously to your ‘friends’. there’s no hope for ‘fixing’ this with that couple. Just apologise and then leave them alone.

Devilishpyjamas · 06/08/2018 00:34

I don’t think most people plough through 14 page threads. Just read the OP and maybe a few responses. So it’s not necessarily a piling in. Just the same response from many individuals.

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