WIBU to uninvite my friend

[Kallo]

Name changed for this as it's quite specific.

Last night I was out with a group of mates, at an event where a couple I am friends with were also attending. Let's call them Bob and Margaret.

After the event me and my mates were going for a drink, I invited Bob and Margaret along. Bob was too tired but Margaret wanted to come along so Bob left and she waited with me for the others. Really I prefer Bobs company, although we have always socialised as a three. I decided to encourage Margaret to go home after Bob, and said I would see them in the week. She took the hint and went to catch up with Bob.

About 20 minutes later I got a text from Bob asking me that that was all about, and why I had treated Margaret that way. Margaret didn't contact me

Bob is the more extroverted of the two so I really thought it might be awkward or difficult with just her. She didn't look upset or anything she just said ok. They now don't want to see me for something we had planned this week.

I think I made the right call really and reckon I didn't have much choice, but now I think I have lost my friendship with Bob.

If she didn't feel like being with new people she'd have trotted home with Bob, surely? You were being an arse.

You acted awfully

You sound vile, I hope she doesn’t feel too bad and I hope they both don’t contact you again, they deserve better friends.

It's not up to you to decide how someone else feels or doesn't feel. If she was fine with it, you should have accepted her decision. She's a grown woman.

The title of your post is misleading, she's not your 'friend' - you don't treat friends like this

You sound even worse with your second post deciding how people should be living their life.

You are such a nasty person - perhaps Margaret fancied coming out of the comfort zone for once and mingling without Bob? I hope they both cut you off.

Poor Margaret. Unless.... You're Margaret?

Margaret knew Bob was tired but she still wanted to come. Maybe she saw it as an opportunity to get to know you and the others better and strengthen your friendship.

YWBU, patronising and very rude to make assumptions about how she might feel and uninvite her. I wouldn’t blame Bob if he didn’t want to be friends with someone who behaves like this to his wife.

Well, you were wrong. Margaret knows her own mind and when she said she wanted to come, she wanted to come. She is also astute enough to know when someone is trying to get rid of her. Good on Margaret and Bob for calling you out on your behaviour.

You were being a bitch.

But they had made their own decision. He was going to go home, but she was happy to stay on with the rest of you.

Maybe, maybe, because he's usually the extrovert, she was looking forward to the opportunity to have a chance to socialise with the rest of you without him 'taking over' all of the time? Maybe she thought, I like Kallo and X, Y, Z, but I never get a chance when Bob's in his extrovert mode?

That is one of the meanest things I have heard. How do you know what Margaret was thinking? I would imagine your friendship with Bob is over. And I can't say I would blame him. If somebody did that to me my partner would certainly not be impressed.

Is this a reverse

Or are you Rita or Sue

Or just a rude cunt??

Not a reverse.

I do like her, I just didn't think it would work socially with her alone in that situation. I just wanted to avoid an awkward evening for all of us.

I realise it was rude, but was it unreasonable? It could have been terrible and as I know her and my mates, I felt I had the information to make the call. I didn't explicitly tell her to go but I did hint gently. I honestly thought she might not really want to come. I tried to call her to apologise but she didn't answer. I will think of a way to try and fix it.

@Iflyaway How are they hard work? Margaret wanted to come out without Bob. Hardly joined at the hip.

OP you were horrible and you know you were.

YWBU

How presumptuous of you! How was it remotely your decision whether or not she would feel uncomfortable?!

Yes, it was unreasonable. You invited the pair of them, Bob didn't want to go on but Margaret did.

Maybe she was trying to be brave, maybe she wanted to spend time with you without bob, and get to know your other friends. You were nasty. If I was Bob, no way would I want to be your friend.

Read back your own posts. You are breathtakingly arrogant.

You were unbelievably unreasonable. Who are you to decide how Margaret would have got on? You never gave her a chance.

Well, you were a bit of a bitch and I don't blame them for wanting to see you! How awfully rude. Bullying behaviour.

"I will think of a way to try and fix it."

Well, that's going to be an interesting one, isn't it?

YABVU - I can be quite socially awkward sometimes, if the one time I felt brave enough to just go alone without my DH with people I didn't know and my supposed friend hinted that I should come I would be devastated and that would set me back even further! Quite horrible really because you say you hinted so she most defiantly would have thought she wasn't wanted there.... 😕