WIBU to uninvite my friend

[Kallo]

Name changed for this as it's quite specific.

Last night I was out with a group of mates, at an event where a couple I am friends with were also attending. Let's call them Bob and Margaret.

After the event me and my mates were going for a drink, I invited Bob and Margaret along. Bob was too tired but Margaret wanted to come along so Bob left and she waited with me for the others. Really I prefer Bobs company, although we have always socialised as a three. I decided to encourage Margaret to go home after Bob, and said I would see them in the week. She took the hint and went to catch up with Bob.

About 20 minutes later I got a text from Bob asking me that that was all about, and why I had treated Margaret that way. Margaret didn't contact me

Bob is the more extroverted of the two so I really thought it might be awkward or difficult with just her. She didn't look upset or anything she just said ok. They now don't want to see me for something we had planned this week.

I think I made the right call really and reckon I didn't have much choice, but now I think I have lost my friendship with Bob.

Not quite sure why my comment was deleted, but the gist was that I've been Margaret. Finding the confidence to go somewhere out of your comfort zone and to be "encouraged" to go home must have been heartbreaking.

Well there are 3 possibilities here.
1This is a case of wind them up and watch them go.
2This is a reverse and you're Margaret.
3.You're Cheeky Exclusive fucker.

I hope it's number 1. However the Cheeky fuckery stories I've been hearing lately. it's probably number one.
Im not surprised Margaret was upset. Who are you to invite or invite anyone in to Public place.
If I was Margaret I'd have stayed to annoyed youand sang. I know a song that'll get on your nerves. Get on your nerves and This is how it goes. I know a song that'll get on your nerves all night.

@Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar

Buckeejit (indeed!) suggested going round with flowers, and a card to leave in the sad event that Margaret wasn’t at home to receive them.

Cheers. Missed that one. I'm not sure it's wise for OP to be popping in unannounced just yet :-)

YWBU how horrible!

Bob sounds like a really nice man. You were immensely rude, OP. I'm really glad for Margaret that she has such a kind man on her side.

You were a bitch to Margaret. You made it clear to her (and to them) that you only put up with her because she's Bob's partner.

You were unforgivably nasty.

Just leave it OP. You clearly don't really see how mean you were so just let it go. Neither of them needs such a shit friend, no one does.

I'm not sure this can be real- surely few people could lack the emotional intelligence to see this was rude and unreasonable? Or maybe a reverse. Lets hope so, as I'd hate for Margaret to be real.

In case this happened OP, YABU and you probably really hurt Margaret's feelings. Are you really surprised that Bob is upset on her behalf?. If you really did like Margaret and were her friend then you wouldn't have done this. I imagine that you could have included Margaret if you'd wanted to, even if she can be socially awkward. Your posts show arrogance of quite breathtaking proportions and the way you talk about Margaret is patronising.

I suspect that the truth is that you thought Margaret wasn't funny/outgoing/cool/interesting enough to introduce to your other friends as she might be embarrassing or reflect badly on you in some way. This wasn't about her, this was about you.

My friends would welcome friends from other friendship groups, and would be polite and friendly even if they didn't have a lot in common or found them a bit awkward. Might not be the "best night ever" but it would have been perfectly enjoyable.

YWBU.

You invited Margaret for a drink.
She accepted, indicating that she was happy to come for a drink with you and your other friends.
You then disinvited her.

I think you should apologise to Margaret, OP.

YWBVU

It was not your place to tell (or hint to) her what to do, why do you think you knew better?
I don't know if there's any way out of this, it was incredibly rude and I wouldn't blame either of them did not talking to you again.

I would be incredibly hurt if i were Margaret. It's not up to you to decide what is uncomfortsble or difficult for her. Insuspect you were more worried about having to "babysit" a quieter friend. Dont pretend you were thinking of her. If you were, you would have asked what she wanted to do, not encouraged her to do what you thought best.

Humiliation like that, for me, would be hard to bounce back from.

You are not worth their time or their friendship.

Kallo

What I don't understand is how you think you uninvited her.

To uninvited someone it would have had to have happened before the event.

You basically told her to fuck off. (no matter how nice you think that you were)

It may well have been that Bob feigned the tiredness to encourage Margaret to be a bit more outgoing. Maybe she needs some female friends?

If she’d not enjoyed herself she could have always made an excuse and left, it should have been her decision to make

Poor Margaret 😢 She went all out to join you and your friends and was basically told to fuck off!

YWBU and nasty!

Wow, at least they both including your darling bud Bob can see who you really are, warts in all.

How horrible, if anything I include a shy person even more, You were thinking of yourself, There is no other reason you gentle encouraged her to go. She took the hint, If this is real then your definitely the type of person I would not any give time too.

I wish I had just gone along with it now, but I can't change the past.

Nope you can't. But you seem to be implying that Bob and Margaret are unreasonable because you can't do anything about it now.

Some mistakes cannot be undone. You've lost the friendship. Think about it next time you are going to "very gently" exclude someone.

You named your post 'wibu to uninvite my friend'.....
You and I have a different idea of what friendship is.

This is like something from high school. Pathetic behaviour.

Poor Margaret, it sounds like she dodged a bullet and hopefully bob can see your true colours now.

I really hope this makes it into the dailymail and they realise it’s about them, just so Margaret knows she did nothing wrong

Good for BoB. for standing up for his partner.

I'm a bob and my dh is a Margaret, I'd be furious if this had happened to him

Nasty.

Wow! OP has been torn a new @&#e. One of the few times reasonably so. I feel very sorry for your "friend" OP.

Not that I expect the OP to raise her self centred head above the parapet of MN's disdain.