To be annoyed she took my son back early?

[grumpymamma]

My mum looked after my son last night, she had previously said she will look after him until 'Saturday evening' by half 2 she was back with him 😐
Aibu?

One way to remember when to use 'bought' or 'brought' -
if you buy, you bought, if you bring, you brought.

Hope you are doing OK today OP

Mariatequila
If the OP had written a full original post and not drip fed people would have understood her situation and been sympathetic. I didn’t even get to that point because it was such a drip of a clearly complicated story not “just that” as she initially said. I suspect there’s still more to it.

OP for the future with your mum I’d suggest you just ask if everything is ok and was there a reason she didn’t stick to the plan. Maybe she couldn’t cope, or perhaps she thought the plan was a relaxed one. Unless you ask you’ll never know.

What a load of bollocks

Yourself Clair and others have been pulled up on your nasty spiteful posts

It’s typical on MN a few start and other idiot sheep follow

And op hope you are getting some support

Really ignore twats on here some people just like to kick others when their down

OP ignore all the nasty comments. Your mother behaved badly regardless and I really hope you are feeling better today.

ClaireAnne1976
That’s not the point. She didn’t have to ‘drip feed’ but obviously felt compelled to due to accusations and inconsiderate comments by MNers with no objectivity. She needed her mum. Her mum wasn’t fully there for her. No explanation and little empathy for her daughter that has to go to hospital. The other stuff is irrelevant (although does paint a bigger picture) however, doesn’t change my mind that the OP was not BU. It’s concerning that so many MNers accuse mums of high expectations from their parents when all they are asking is for some help from the people that chose to have them, raise them, love them and look after them while growing up. Parenting is not a job. It lasts for us forever - no I’m not saying you wipe a 30 year olds arse but when you have the capacity to help your child in need then who better a person to help than your own family and specifically your own mum or dad. And I’m not talking about those spoilt ungrateful selfish ones IMA....

Aw op that’s not very helpful of her.

4 year olds arnt that hard work ffs! They are at school.if he was tired and hot a dvd together would have sufficed or craft play etc.

I have my 2 year old grandson overnight about twice a month to give my ds/dil a break. We do a 12pm to 12 pm babysit.

She sounds a bit selfish.

OP if you are in the Gatwick/Brighton area I would gladly come and help you out just to give you a break. I have an enhanced DBS, (Police checked). I have to rely on public transport at the moment so it would depend on where you live. Life sounds hard now but it will get better. Sending a big hug. x

ClaireAnne1976

Your were an arsehole, just accept it, don't try and defend yourself now.

OP I didn't think ywbu at all even in your fist post before we found out the rest. I really hope things get better for you and you find some better support from someone.

I really feel for OP having read the thread, but the initial post didn't really give any info and most responses are just answering that.
You can't change a person and if that's the mums attitude then it's not going to change. It doesn't mean she won't have him whilst the baby is arriving but clearly she's not very empathetic.

Timeisslippingaway

I’m not trying to defend myself. I’m pointing out that communication and context are important. If she gave a full account the responses would be entirely different as we’d understand the situation. Likewise she should have just asked her mum why she brought the child back early.
Looking at the original post it seems quite reasonable that the Mum should return the child early. When we learn OP is pregnant, sick, bereaved, single etc then it seems shocking that the mum is being so unsupportive and demanding gifts for childcare.

I think it's normally best to read the whole thread when responding. One person's drip feed is another's trying to avoid writing their whole life story in the opening post.

If you do end up having to ask her to help again, I would be very clear on when you want her to keep him til. I would also make sure he has lots to do while with your Mum and ask your Mum not to think she has to entertain him endlessly, make use of TV and tablet etc, it means she might find it less stressful and be more willing to watch him again.

Sorry you are going through so much xx

@ClaireAnne1976
But similarly what’s shocking is you don’t seem to empathise why someone may not want to put that in the opening post & rather than admit your responsible for coming off as an arse by not bothering to rtft , you’d rather place that blame on the Op.

ClaireAnne1976

Perhaps you should have rtft before you posted, OP had explained all this before you did post. You were just so desperate to get in there with your nasty post you didn't bother your arse.

Really not sure what you found “nasty”. Impatient but not nasty. Perhaps I should have read the whole thing but my point was that I got frustrated with the post.

No idea you had suffered such a loss. Your Mum surely will help you out in these circumstances. If not how about your deceased partner's family as baby will be part of them. Or a nursery during the day at least on week days with your Mum delivering and collecting. At least she will have the daytime to herself. My Condolences on your loss.

Having read your updates just wanted to apologise for being blunt on the first page. I didn't realise you were in hospital, very recently berieved, and heavily pregnant with your third
If I was your mum id be cleaning your house, giving you lie in's every day and loving the heck outta you guys. She sounds like a waste of space as a mum, so sorry
I joined church berievement group helped ( I'm not religious but my partner is) nCT group were fabulous, gingerbread etc have all been great best of luck, if you are in the east London area p.m me and I'd be happy to help practically xx

@ClaireAnne1976

Impatient doesn't really cover it. It's mentioned within the first page that she was in hospital and heavily pregnant. You're either blind, can't read or just fucking lazy. Perhaps she didn't want to drag up the bereavement too, that was the only thing that was bought up later on!

She's having a tough time for crying out loud you inconsiderate arsehole.

ClaireAnne1976

And now everyone is frustrated with you and the lazy people like you that CBA to read a thread past the dirst cpuple of posts before having a bout of verbal diarrhea.

So who here would offer less than 100% support to their heavily pregnant, recently bereaved daughter? Anyone? Jesus, I'd be more supportive to a casual acquaintance in those circumstances.

OP YANBU to have expected better. Would your FiL help with your son too do you think?

so sorry for your loss op and i hate to say t but your mother isnt very caring

i dont even know u and im wanting to help-she shold be staying with u just to make life easier for a bit

ClaireAnne1976 if you had anything about you, you would just apologise to the OP, not bother with trying to post anything else. You obviously don't.

322yellowcanaries and you're another one. How pathetic of you.

Just so you know, Claireanne1976, I reported your post. When I had an e-mail from MNHQ it said, "Thanks all and sorry for the MASS e-mail". That means that many of us reported you.

Please do think about that.