Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed she took my son back early?

252 replies

grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:16

My mum looked after my son last night, she had previously said she will look after him until 'Saturday evening' by half 2 she was back with him 😐
Aibu?

OP posts:
cherish123 · 05/08/2018 19:43

Perhaps she finds it difficult to cope/tiring. Did you say you would be in? Perhaps husband or boyfriend (or his dad - if different) could have him while you have the baby. Then at least you you know everything will be ok. It's a bit much to ask a friend.

UpsyDaisysarmpit · 05/08/2018 19:57

Cherish123 you might want to RTFT

parentin · 05/08/2018 20:31

Personally I think you have done very well coping do far. Yes your mother's actions ain't really what a caring mother/grandmother would do. However o don't think you should cancel her to babysit whilst your in hospital, but rather have a back up plan. So if it dose not work out someone else is already in place to take your son. Your situation is a difficult one and I wish you all the best for the future. Also do check out information regarding help for yourself, there are several things you are entitled to one being respite

Theluckynumberthree · 05/08/2018 21:22

So sorry for your loss OP

Do you have any close friends for support?? Even if they could stay at your house whilst your in hospital so all your son’s belongings are there to make it easier for your son and friend? Any mums at school who you would feel comfortable and trust having your 4 year old for a night or two and one that your son would be happy with?

I feel awful for you- your doing amazing and need to be proud of yourself for getting out of bed each day and treasuring your children as you are.

ClaireAnne1976 · 05/08/2018 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ClaireAnne1976 · 05/08/2018 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lily2403 · 05/08/2018 22:21

☝🏻🖕🏻

SquidgyBanana · 05/08/2018 22:35

@lily2403 agreed!! What a fking pompous troll you are @ClaireAnne1976 get a life!!!

manicmij · 05/08/2018 22:38

And, what are you going to do if your Mum declares the trial to be unsuccessful. Can't help but think your arrangements are a bit loose regarding your hospital stay for new baby. Has your Mum actually said everything is okay with her for That? Would definitely ask.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/08/2018 22:45

lily2403 agreed again. I've reported the attention-seeking inadequate. So many on this thread. They are lacking everything that matters.

Disneyinmyveins · 05/08/2018 22:55

OP can you let us know where you are to see if we can help even with meals etc. It’s surprising how small a world it can be. Local churches and aid groups might be able to help you sometimes women volunteer to help out mums like yourself that need some support. If you are from Northern Ireland I’d gladly help you out. I know you probably feel alone and I know it’s not much but there are some amazing posters on here even to talk to when your grief is unbearable. I have witnessed the best of MN a few times in similar threads x

PowerPlayed · 05/08/2018 22:55

@manicmij and what would you suggest the OP do about that?!

lily2403 · 05/08/2018 23:01

As a mother I would move mountains to help my children no payment needed.
I did think maybe mum to old or ill until I read 53 and making dinner for brother
I feel for you and I hope you get the help you need along with the safe delivery of your baby
Flowers for your loss

BakedBeans47 · 05/08/2018 23:03

Oh piss off ClaireAnne. Does it make you feel good sneering at a heavily pregnant vulnerable woman?

SquidgyBanana · 05/08/2018 23:16

@ClaireAnne1976 assuming you’re 42/43 you’re very immature... can you not imagine what this poor woman is going through? Couldn’t be bothered to read the whole thread but could be bothered to be the resident dictionary ass

LG123 · 05/08/2018 23:19

@Cherish123 if you read the full post you'd know she buried her partner 11 weeks ago. It's quite clear she's having the toughest of times!

Lunde · 05/08/2018 23:24

@Snappedandfarted2018 - I have a 4 year old they can be a handful especially in this warm weather. I think you’re pretty lucky you had a night off tbh and should be grateful for that she had him from 6.30 the previous day till 2.30 that’s not bad going.

For goodness sake "snapped" - OP hasn't had a "night off" she has been in the hospital have urgent blood transfusions related to her pregnancy. OP is also recently bereaved as her partner died. Her Mum did not even check that she was back from the hospital before taking the child home - OP had only just got through the door and was supposed to be resting when her Mum turned up early.

Lunde · 05/08/2018 23:27

@Cherish123 - Perhaps she finds it difficult to cope/tiring. Did you say you would be in? Perhaps husband or boyfriend (or his dad - if different) could have him while you have the baby. Then at least you you know everything will be ok. It's a bit much to ask a friend.

Please RTFT

OP's partner died 11 weeks ago. OP herself was in the hospital having blood transfusions and her Mum was meant to be looking after the child.

It seems that so many MN:ers totally lack compassion

LG123 · 05/08/2018 23:41

I'm actually surprised by the lack of compassion on here and people commenting prior to actually read the thread!

LG123 · 05/08/2018 23:42

*reading.... before I get picked up by the grammar/spelling Nazis.

tigercub50 · 05/08/2018 23:47

Just wondering if she actually texted “ for your son” or was that just that you didn’t want to name him? It sounds cold otherwise I think. So sorry for your loss OP 💐

Raisinshoes · 05/08/2018 23:58

ClaireAnn I wish you could’nt have been bothered to comment. Try to summon up the motivation to bugger off.

torresci · 06/08/2018 00:43

OP, I have a brother considerably younger than me and I look after him sometimes overnight to give my mum a break and I always underestimate how hard it is to occupy young children for a long stretch of time when they aren’t in their own home. What helped was when my mum told me not to worry too much about entertaining him; if he gets bored at home she tells him to find something to do so I can do the same when he’s with me. He brings plenty of toys and games so can always occupy himself for short periods under supervision. This was certainly the case when I had him for a week and couldn’t pay for exciting trips out every day but knowing that took the pressure off and it was much easier.

Possibly tell your mum a similar thing when she has him next week? Send with plenty of toys and tell her not to worry herself too much with endlessly treating and entertaining him. Just a suggestion :)

torresci · 06/08/2018 00:44

And very sorry for your loss Flowers

Mariatequila · 06/08/2018 02:40

@claireanne1976 congratulations on being possibly the biggest arsehole on MN 👏 I hope you’re proud.

Op, my biggest sympathies, I know there’s a chance you didn’t want this thread to become about your recent bereavement & reading the replies may only be making you feel worse, but behind every sincere reply on here is a woman who wishes she could somehow support you through this.