To be cheesed off with 'childfree' bragging

[lunaboona]

Childless ( by choice ) or 'childfree' and that's what she refers to herself as , forever sharing quotes about how lucky she is to travel / have money / drink cocktails whenever she wants , she'll never be a boring house wife etc AIBU to find this annoying and slightly insulting? As I juggle the house / my job and 2 'brats ' 😣🙄🤔

I'm totally on side with any woman that makes that choice , I respect that and in no way think women should be expected to or pressured into having children , I would defend anyone being challenged for making a decision not to have children as it's up to them, and no one should question them but what annoys the shit out of me is the superior attitude almost laughing at those of us up to our eyeballs in washing and crappy nappies 😕

Sounds like a bit of over compensation to me (and I was part of the childless popular until recently, quite late in the day).

Perhaps she feels a bit of sadness about it and concentrating v hard on the positives is her way of dealing with that

Or perhaps vshe feels like the child centered/family society we still have is shoving things down her throat a bit too much and this is her way of pushing back.

Population

What is it about women that can't just live and let live. I mean replace childfree with SAHM or career woman or whatever else you want and it's the same argument on loop. It must get exhausting to be 'performance living' all the fucking time.

Bragging on social media is unpleasant but parents are equally as guilt of it. I always wonder, when people make a song and dance of how great their life is, how happy they really are

Me too, most people don't have to put something on social media if they are happy, it seems to be the insecure or those trying to convince themselves that do from things I've seen.

Does she do this to your face OP? If not, as my sis says, there is an off switch. Just unfollow her. Job done. I can understand how it could be annoying but it really is her choice what she posts on social media and if you don’t like it you don’t have to look at it.

A lot of people go on about how amazing their life is when actually they are very unhappy or feel inferior (even if the outside world is not judging their chosen path in any way). I strongly suspect that’s what’s going on here.

Attention seeker much the two of you's? 😀

YANBU. People who have nothing better to do but constantly update their statuses on social media are boring as fuck. That’s why I left Facebook, Instagram etc years ago

Truth hurts OP, for you to post on a public forum she must be hitting a few truths buttons in your life.. I'd say you're jealous and are only here to get confirmation as you know most people on this forum have kids and will most likely back your opinion.
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You sound jealous as most people also post never ending things about their families on social media in fact more than those that are single with child free lives. .

but it's ok for parent's to harp on about how lucky and grateful all the time? Stop takijg it personally. You sound ridiculous.

I think I am pretty boring since having DD. I try to go on holiday when money allows - always because we've been invited to go with family - otherwise I wouldn't bother it's more hassle than it's worth. Plus I have animals to look after and they come first.

I don't disagree with her but I think you have to look at why she needs to shout about it quite so much. You live your life and your Chou es and just unfollow her if she's annoying you.

as pp have said mayb e shes fed up with other peo0ples post about their children or how they couldnt live if they didnt have any-works both ways

i dont brag online at all but im not jealous if people with children everyone i know moans about their life andhow they cant do anything-well its each to their own isnt it

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.....
If she's constantly all over social media saying 'My life is brilliant!' she's desperately insecure. She's trying to prove something to other people, or possibly herself.
If you're happy to be a Mum and love your kids, you're doing alright.
Block her or click, 'See less from' if it bothers you.

Op I’ve no idea if your still following this thread as you seem to have disappeared but I think your getting a very hard time on here.

Anybody bragging as if their choices are better than everyone else’s is annoying full stop no matter which way round it is.

I don’t think the op has taken it personally I think she just wanted a bit of a moan which is fair enough. I also think it’s offensive to suggest she doesn’t enjoy her family life.

Equally I don’t agree that the friend is overcompensating and secretly wants kids. Some people are very happy to not have children and enjoy their freedom and that’s great. What’s not great is suggesting that those with children have no lives or are tied down.

She’s probably fed up with her friends constant chatter about their offspring and bragging about how wonderful motherhood is or she’s over compensating and maybe she protests too much and actually wishes she had children? I wouldn’t take it personally

She's unhappy OP. Can't you 'see' beyond what she's saying? The lady doth protest too much, as they say.

Let this go and be glad you aren't her, having to constantly reiterate how happy/lucky/blessed you are..like a 'if I keep saying it then I, and everyone else, will believe it' mantra

Maybe she does actually love her child free life.... go where she wants, when she wants, do what she wants, maybe she isn’t the type to be tied down to married life with children, maybe she is just being true to herself and she knows she wouldn’t be happy
I never wanted children until I met a man I adored and changed my mind, after months of trying, millions of tears we had a son, whom I adore the bones of btw, dad passed away and I was left to bring my son up alone..... hindsight is a wonderful thing, if I knew the sacrifices I would have to make when I was so desperate to get pregnant, in all honesty I don’t think I’d have had him. I love him to bits, adore him and would give my life to save his BUT my life could have been very different had I not had him, and that is why given the choice again knowing what was coming, I wouldn’t have had him.
You can’t miss something you never had
OP I think subconsciously you are a little bit jealous of her lifestyle

She's unhappy OP. Can't you 'see' beyond what she's saying? The lady doth protest too much, as they say.

What warped logic.... there are an awful lot of unhappy mums out there by that logic.

SavvySaver your comment makes zero sense in context. Try having an opinion on the topic. It's not sodifficult.

Anyone who has to constantly remind people that they're happy with their lot - whatever their lot may be -isn't happy.

Aside from that - boasters are massive bores OP, whether boasting about their children or about not having children it's an equal scale of tedium. Why wouldn't you just unfollow & snooze them?

FB bragging is so cringe, and people who do it are super defensive when called on it as the outside validation is extremely important.

In real life you wouldn't sit opposite someone while they bragged away, would you? Mind you I suspect in they wouldn't brag so much either as it's not really acceptable in real life is it, + more chance of eyerolls, being avoided or told to STFU. FB etc is hardly a real snapshot of life anyway.

Just unfollow so you don't see it. There's a choice.

A couple of friends of mine doing have children. When I see the things they do on facebook my life is laughable by comparison nappies, no sleep. etc etc

Wouldn't change my life with theirs for anything.

Before I adopted my daughter none of my friends and family had any idea how sad I was about being ‘childfree’ I holidayed a lot, went out etc but inside I was really hurting. When parents complain about their children/school hols etc it made me so angry as I would have loved that. Now i totally get it. Daughter drives me bonkers most days! My point is there are lots of deep & hidden emotions when it comes to having or not having children. Be grateful for what you’ve got and if you’re unhappy don’t look at others social media posts. They’re not real life.

What on earth are you on about MistressDeeCee... I completely have my own opinion on the topic and have commented earlier.

You said anyone bragging isn't happy with their own lot. There are a heck of alot of mothers bragging about their supposedly wonderful lot with their supposedly wonderful children. So they are equally not as happy with their life.

You can't have one rule for one and one for another.... Think it is hilarious that some people think this woman who is talking about her wonderful childfree life isn't actually happy but that all the mothers bragging about their child full life ARE happy.

It’s 6 of one and half a dozen of the other though isn’t it? The op can be happy, but occasionally wistful about holidays and cocktails. The friend can be happy but occasionally wistful about pudgy little faces. People are complex creatures and sm doesn’t leave much room for nuance.

It is arsey to outright say that her life is better than yours, but it could have been a joke that went wrong (?)

I think anyone who needs likes and social media approval to make them happy can’t be happy in the first place though?

Why does someone need the approval of others for validation if they’re happy with their lot?

(Whether they have children/partner/money/fancy things or not)

I would assume either infertility has caused her to be child free or she is incredibly insecure about her decision tbh. There’s absolutely no need to be constantly posting about how great your life is unless it isn’t actually that great.