To be cheesed off with 'childfree' bragging

[lunaboona]

Childless ( by choice ) or 'childfree' and that's what she refers to herself as , forever sharing quotes about how lucky she is to travel / have money / drink cocktails whenever she wants , she'll never be a boring house wife etc AIBU to find this annoying and slightly insulting? As I juggle the house / my job and 2 'brats ' 😣🙄🤔

I'm totally on side with any woman that makes that choice , I respect that and in no way think women should be expected to or pressured into having children , I would defend anyone being challenged for making a decision not to have children as it's up to them, and no one should question them but what annoys the shit out of me is the superior attitude almost laughing at those of us up to our eyeballs in washing and crappy nappies 😕

OP, you sound a bit like hard work. Just ignore her.

Live and let live I say, I love being a mum, without doubt, the best thing I have ever done.

I also have friends that are childless, some by choice and others not.

Children are only small for such a short time, before you know it they are teens.

I think it's quite immature for a 42 year old woman to still be going on about it but I let her get on with it and love her anyway , I'm proud of her and the choices she's made -she's a successful career woman with no regrets and that's great , I'd love for her to find mr right so she'd have someone to share her success with but she's happy on her own. I posted today coz I was hacked off at it coming up on my feed every other day and find that shit irritating but looks like I'm in the minority . Nevermind 🤷‍♀️

But being childfree has massive benefits, assuming you're the type to take advantage of them. Having children has massive benefits assuming you're the type to enjoy raising children. I can hear parents gushing about how wonderful it is to have children and think "Good for them, but I have no idea how they enjoy it" and it doesn't touch a nerve. Plenty of parents think a childfree life is desolate and sad.

All your reaction shows is that you don't enjoy the trappings of family life and are jealous of your friend. You need to work on that, not project your anger at her.

That's really offensive , where have I suggested I don't enjoy my family ? How dare you

Ffs how personal and judgy -last time I post in here !

Read your post again. You're annoyed at her talking about how lucky she is while you "juggle" and are "up to your eyeballs in washing and crappy nappies." These are the trappings of family life you clearly don't enjoy and are jealous that your friend doesn't have.

Are children something that we should be liberated from?

God yes

Maybe she doesn’t want to find ‘mr Right’? Would ever describe a man as a career man? Her choices are her choices

For every teenager I come across I wonder whether they'll be happy in 10 year's time.

Some have careers; some have babies; some want babies but can't have them; some even had babies that didn't make it but they have to live the rest of their lives carrying that.

Percentage wise, though, most do but it's ok not to. (including men)

I suffered the absolute pain of infertility for five years. It was a need not a choice. If things had worked out differently...

Good luck to your friend. We're all different but we should all fit in.

OP I think I used to be a bit like that, simply because it was easier than having people feel sorry for me and assume I desperately wanted children and couldnt (which, as it happened, was the case).

I'd love for her to find mr right so she'd have someone to share her success with but she's happy on her own

It’s a bit off OP to complain about her having a pop at your choices when you’re doing the same.

I agree you are being over sensitive

to travel / have money / drink cocktails whenever she wants , she'll never be a boring house wife

You could say all the same things about me, and probably hundreds of other mumsnetters who all have DC. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Just take a break from SM if it is pissing you off.

She’s probably fed up of being questioned and judged over her choice and has gone too far the other way. She may utterly fed up of posts on Facebook of the ‘you get 18 precious summers with your children...’ and cringe-worthy ‘making memories’ posts.

Also, you don’t know what goes on in people’s private lives. Perhaps she desperately wanted children and it never happened and this is her way of coping.

I think it's quite immature for a 42 year old woman to still be going on about it

I think it's quite immature for however old you are to still be going on about it. If you're happy with your life, it's not about you.

I’m childfree and I get you OP.

I do get more holidays, fun times etc than my childed friends, but none of those post shit like #makingmemories on social media and while I will post a picture or two of a memorable trip (with DH) or holiday I certainly don’t post them with a PA status about how I wouldn’t be able to do all that if I was stuck with a few kids. She sounds a twat tbh.

to travel / have money / drink cocktails whenever she wants , she'll never be a boring house wife

FWIW, my friends without DC freely admit that there are only so many wine bars, tea rooms, trips abroad they can take. Everything gets monotonous after a while.
My dearest friend finds constantly having to 'make plans' exhausting. She has told me that she envies my 'routine' I've told her that the grass is NEVER greener... either way.

She's probably just competing with the #feelsoblessed #familytime #cherishedmoments shite that everyone else posts.

Do they do that because they are jealous of childfree people?

At the end of the day, this is just another "I'm pissed off with things people post on social media" thread. We get at least one of these a day. The obvious answer is always "unfollow or log off". It ain't rocket science.

Just filter her out!

By the way, I don’t think anyone posted that you don’t enjoy your family! Have a glass of wine and calm the fuck down. 😂😂

it sounds like she is insecure 42 and no partner or kids might really upset her.
maybe she says what she does to make herself feel better.
They say the insecure/unhappy put others down to make themselves look better.

Unfollow her?

The people who really annoy me are those who bleat on about how wonderful their oh is, knowing full well he has been cheating on them.

Don’t compare someone’s ‘best bits’ to your real life. That’s what social media does - it makes us look at someone’s show reel - in this case lunches out; cocktails with friends; lazy Sunday mornings etc etc and then you compare that to sleepless nights; grizzly toddlers; short tempered partners etc etc. You either accept social media for the bullshit edited version of life it is or get off it. No one’s life is perfect. Enjoy yours.