To be cheesed off with 'childfree' bragging

[lunaboona]

Childless ( by choice ) or 'childfree' and that's what she refers to herself as , forever sharing quotes about how lucky she is to travel / have money / drink cocktails whenever she wants , she'll never be a boring house wife etc AIBU to find this annoying and slightly insulting? As I juggle the house / my job and 2 'brats ' 😣🙄🤔

I'm totally on side with any woman that makes that choice , I respect that and in no way think women should be expected to or pressured into having children , I would defend anyone being challenged for making a decision not to have children as it's up to them, and no one should question them but what annoys the shit out of me is the superior attitude almost laughing at those of us up to our eyeballs in washing and crappy nappies 😕

Agree with the #makingmemories shite. You do stuff with your kids, some of which they will remember and some of which they won't. In the case of my younger DD, to give but one example, she cannot remember going our taking her to Venice but has almost perfect recall of the time I shouted at some man on the tube who grabbed my shoulder and the time I dropped a bottle of wine on the floor of the local branch of Boots. Memories are not "made" in the way people wish them to be......!

No different to endless parental bragging about their kids, their kids' achievements, how proud they are, how much they love them etc etc.

It’s not just friends who post pictures of their children and family that really piss off childfree women, it’s the rest of society. All the adverts, magazine articles, repost this if you love your children, everything is geared up for telling mothers how great they are. Now I’m not saying that is bad but as a child free woman you can feel like you have failed and having children is the best thing anyone can ever do.

No one throws you a party when you get a new cat.

My kids have been to most of Europe,enriching architecture,quirky tours
They remember none of it #TheyOnlyRememberMcDonalds

As pp have said its probably to counteract the shite mothers post.

Memes i have actually seen include (not worded 100% but along the lines of:)

People without children dont know the joy of seeing your child smile. Of feeling them kick inside your body and watching them sleep.

I feel sorry for people without children because blah blah blah

And my favourite "i was put on this earth to be a mother"

Maybe I know more than average ammounts of sanctemonious mothers. I am constantly asked why i dont have kids and someone actually told me i was shocking at my age to be childless.

That and rhe constant rigmarole of playing tiredness bingo and being told i cant possibly be tired because i am childless.

Both sides are guilty of this but childfree by choice are just that. By choice. But of course people will claim its not by choice and they are bitter.

Read between the lines. No one truly happy about something bangs on constantly about how great it is.

If that is true there must be quite a few peoe unhappy about having children out there.

You both sound defensive.

I'd say it's nice to have a good loving cuddle and smile from a happy child at the end of the day. Her idea of an awesome life isn't my idea. I wouldn't take offence just different people. I'd leave her in her bubble

When did the word 'childless' become 'childfree'?

Two different words and terms. Childless means it wasn’t your choice. Childfree means it was.

I've had friends do similar in the past but honestly have just seen it as their own insecurities and needing external validation for their own choices. No one that's truly happy feels the need for such crap, putting others lives down to make them feel better.

Hahah so true SerenDippity... hell alot of people out there unhappy about having kids if supposedly banging on abot somrthing means they aren't hap)y about it!

She feels sorry for me that I'm so tied down, and my life revolves around the kids , where as I'm perfectly happy with the choices I made and love my life

Is she actually childfree by choice? Or just saying she is (because the right man never came along at the right time/children never happened)?
Personally I'd just ignore because you may not know the actual truth here, just what you have been told..

I've recently closed my Facebook account because I'm sick of all the bragging about anything and everything. If the OP's"friend" is deliberately belittling her lifestyle choices, she's not worth bothering with.

Also, it's ridiculous to suggest that parents never/will never travel, go out, etc. I know tons of parents who do all sorts of great things - like a family of six who've just sailed around Thailand!

The real hands-on parenting is only one phase of your life. DH and I have a few more years of parenting under-18s and then they'll be doing their own thing...we have some plans too

I'd find her posts irritating as they are running down others. I'm childfree and I post tons of things that are possible as we don't have kids but would never include that thought in there. I'd also find it very irritating if friends with kids kept posting that their live is better than mine due to their kids (though I am quite happy with posts about doing stuff with their kids). Running down other people's choices is just rude.

I'd love for her to find mr right so she'd have someone to share her success with but she's happy on her own

You don't say that to her do you? Because for some of us (me & quite possibly her) being single AND childfree is, quite honestly, the only way to live.

I have a friend like this. She also posts quote a lot about how dogs are better than children and about overpopulation. She made a joke to my dad on Facebook about having so many grandchildren (3) when I had DD.

She's known that she's infertile since she was a teenager so I don't know if she genuinely thinks it's a blessing or she's trying to convince herself of it.

Does it really matter? Just don't follow her. She sounds upset that she doesn't have kids.

There was a woman I went to uni with who constantly did this on fb. I found it hard not to get upset at the really pointed breeders/brats comments. However, she is now pregnant and her feed is full of the same 'I cant wait to meet my baby' stuff that she scoffed at others for. Personally, I dont share much on social media, but I do upload photos of special occasions as I have relatives in other countries who like to get the occasional update about what we are up to. That being said, I dont judge others for what they post but I do expect them to be kind and non-judgemental. You dont need to put others down to love your own life.

Btw - the woman on my fb didnt have any fertility issues she was covering - she didn't want kids, then she changed her mind.

Perhaps child free people get fed up with the “I’m such a proud parent, look at my child posts”.
There are many choices in life and people do what suits them.
I would guess it’s your interpretation causing some form of jealousy.

The social media thing is just an extension of real life. The problem is people brewing nobs.

I was talking to a colleague who has 3 children (I have none by choice). She was nearly in tears talking about her twins and how she’s not getting any sleep at all at the moment.

Did I shout ‘ha! I chose not to have children I get 8 solid hours a night and more at the weekend!!!’

No. I said ‘oh that’s so hard’ and made her a tea.

Any sentence that starts ‘oh I’m so glad I didn’t is going to be shitty, really.

Bragging on social media is unpleasant but parents are equally as guilt of it.

I always wonder, when people make a song and dance of how great their life is, how happy they really are.

But people with children get to 'brag' about the benefits of having children.

We're lucky having the childcare, money etc that we do but I still miss the child free life sometimes.

It's good to feel good about the choices you've made and enjoy the benefits.

I now have children, but for a long time, in my late 20s up until my mid 30s I was single and scrabbling around trying to recover from a hard breakup.

The relentless pix of friend's children, scan photos, happy family days out did get me down. It's hard seeing all that when you want it, and you feel a million miles away from getting it.

The ONE time i had a 'moment' and posted something akin to what your friend posts I was immediately shot down by three separate friends.

Someone posted something like 'Saturday mornings are a little different these days being up at 6am with the kids, but I wouldn't change it for the world'

I replied 'right now I wouldn't change this coffee and guardian in bed for the world'.

And then they all jumped on me. Posts about nerf gun fights vs my meaningless lifestyle, and being woken by little happy faces. It was really awful. The thing was, they didn't even realise how hurtful it was.

So despite now having given up cocktails in Ibiza for pre 6am Toy Story sessions and cleaning porridge off the floor, I can see where your friend is coming from. Try to understand that she might not be as happy as she's making out. And if she is - all power to her!

You're really aggressive. I find the 'oh you don't understand what a joy kids are until you've got kids' really boring on instagram. And I have a kid (an adult one) and am due another one in a couple of weeks. Kids aren't the be all and end all. I've loved not having the responsibility of not having a small child to look after. Loved going on holidays and spending my money on good food and booze.

OP for someone so furious about feeling judged, perhaps you need to rein in your own judginess about your 'friend'.