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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To charge 18 year old dd rent?

327 replies

troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 11:05

Dd has just finished college. Not going to uni this year but maybe next year if she can decide on a course.

She's just got a job in a shop.minimum wage. Wibu to ask her for rent? And if so how much?

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 03/08/2018 16:40

Shameful how is it shameful to ask an actual adult to contribute to the house they live in ? I Can't see any shame in expecting that how long are parents supposed to financially support adult children ?

IceCreamFace · 03/08/2018 16:53

Even on minimum wage if you have no rent or bills to pay you'll have a lot of disposable income. Unless the teenager is incredibly mature they'll probably just get used to spending at this level and will find it a massive shock when they need to become independent. I think it's a good idea to charge rent and if you don't need it put it into a savings account which could be used in the future for something like a house deposit/car.

In terms of how much to charge - it would obviously need to be less than the price of rent and bills in a shared house and it should leave them with disposable income. How much that is will depend.

AnnabelleLecter · 03/08/2018 16:54

Yes a nominal amount. Something like £20 a week. Our DD is almost 18, has a job and has loads of money left over. For us it's not because we need it but getting a free ride forever is not real life.

Gottagetmoving · 03/08/2018 17:11

I think once you are earning you should contribute. How much or how you arrange that is up to you.
It surprises me when people criticise people on benefits but allow their working children to live with them for nothing.
My children were keen to contribute when they began work because they don't expect to live for free when they are earning.

BettyBooHoo · 03/08/2018 17:13

Our DDs have Saturday jobs and handle their money quite sensibly. We also give them a small allowance per month. They don't often ask for money, but I still like to treat them occasionally.

So, I don't see how taking board off them when we don't actually need the money will teach them life lessons about the value of money. They're not stupid. They know full well how mortgages work and what the average rent is for a house around here (their friends have older siblings starting to rent or buy houses).

I do not see how taking board off them will make them anymore aware of how mortgages work or what local rentals are?

I'm perfectly happy for them to enjoy their bit of disposable income before leaving home and even when they're adults with full time jobs, I expect DH and I will still enjoy treating them now and again. It's what parents do.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 03/08/2018 17:14

Half my DS2's maintenance loan will be still be much cheaper than the rent DS1 pays at uni, and that's before food. DS2 will be getting a bargain, and I can continue paying the bills.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 03/08/2018 17:17

And it's still less than I'll be losing on child maintenance, tax credits and child benefit. I work full time, before you call me lazy.

Hizz · 03/08/2018 17:20

Any graduate who returns home to live will have had three years of living on a budget and paying bills. That's enough of a lesson IMO.
DS pays me nothing (he did offer) but his year at home has allowed him to save most of his earnings. I don't need the money, if I took it off him it would just go in the bank. I'd rather he got used to saving and investing his money himself.

All different for those who are going to lose their social security benefits when a DC starts work, of course they should take a contribution.

BettyBooHoo · 03/08/2018 17:25

We don't get any type of benefits. I can see that suddenly losing several hundred pounds per month once your child turns 18 could be a huge blow. But then I believe that you really shouldn't have children unless you can financially provide for them yourself. I know this is a highly unpopular view on here though

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/08/2018 17:29

I wouldn’t charge her for living at home at 18 with minimum wage.

Userplusnumbers · 03/08/2018 17:33

But then I believe that you really shouldn't have children unless you can financially provide for them yourself. I know this is a highly unpopular view on here though

No, it's an entirely reasonable view - people's situations change a lot over the years so they should definitely anticipate that and know how much money they'll be bringing in 18 years after a baby is born. They're definitely the unreasonable ones.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 03/08/2018 17:35

Yes, I should have planned for my ExH to have an affair after 22 years together and leave me with 3 kids, of course.

Userplusnumbers · 03/08/2018 17:39

@EllenJanesthickerknickers so irresponsible of you. @BettyBooHoo must be saddling up her high horse as we speak.

Original poster
troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 17:44

Ffs why do people keep saying she will be subsidising her younger sister? Hmm she will merely be making a contribution to her own upkeep.

By that reasoning I should go back to work so my 18 year old can have free board and lodgings. Mmmkay then.

OP posts:
mimibunz · 03/08/2018 17:46

She could contribute £30 per week? Plus help with the little ones to give you a break.

LadyWithLapdog · 03/08/2018 17:51

We don't charge DS but he has to pay for his haircuts, travel etc. It might change, though. For the time being we'll let him enjoy having some money and being stupid with it. It's only been a few weeks.

TheWernethWife · 03/08/2018 17:53

When my children left education and go full time jobs I took a third of their earnings. They still lived at home, got all their meals, washing done, toiletries bought. They said later that it taught them the value of money.

LadyWithLapdog · 03/08/2018 19:17

Someone mentioned a change in council tax, what's that about? Isn't it calculated by house rather than adults living there?

sprinklesandsauce · 03/08/2018 19:21

I mentioned that if OP was a single parent, then she would lose the single occupancy 25% discount once another adult was there, ie DD over 18. But OP is not a single parent, so it doesn't apply.

rinabean · 03/08/2018 20:06

OP why are you literally pulling faces at the thought of working to provide for your own children? What's wrong with you?

Pebbles16 · 03/08/2018 20:36

Not thought I would ever say this but... perhaps you should go back to work! Well done for your your Dc for getting a job

Mabelface · 03/08/2018 20:49

Working to provide for her own children? One's an adult who is earning and should bloody well contribute.

MistressDeeCee · 03/08/2018 21:09

So many people speaking as if OP is a single parent🙄. If your partner is working OP I don't think you need to take more than £30 a week - you're not a single income family (if he's not working that's another story - he needs to work).

She's your child not your room mate. Some here sound as if they're vultures on their DCs money the moment they reach 18. If taking large sum of money from an 18 year old it can only be justified if you're saving some of it for them. & if that's the case why do people hide that they're saving the money...?

No-one ever says they're taking 1/2 their DCs wages so as to have more money to play with...

I'm sure you'll work out what's best and you don't sound as if you're planning to charge a big sum. All good.

Original poster
troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 21:25

@rinabean she's not a child anymore though she's 18.

maybe you missed my post where I said I had savings put by to help her if/when she goes to uni.

Dh is in full time employment, for those asking.

OP posts:
Original poster
troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 21:26

What I am thinking of asking her for is half the amount that I get and will lose in child benefit and child maintenance.

OP posts: