To ask why younger women flirt with married men

[paraglidingidiot]

Seen a lot on here lately about younger women flirting with older married men (often work colleagues).

This is also the case in my work, there is a woman in her twenties who is all over the 30/40 y/o married men. What's the deal with this? Why do they do it? I can never understand why they wouldn't want to flirt with men their own age who are single if they want to find a man. Can anyone explain it to me!

Bumpity Threads evolve. Facts get drawn in. People discuss their experiences. The fact that so many posters DO think it's relevant to discuss harassment of young female employees/colleagues in the context of this thread means it's...relevant.

This thread is not being 'hijacked'; it's being discussed and dissected, like every thread on AIBU.

The more attractive a man is (in one way or another; there are too many ways of being attractive to be listed) the more women will flirt with him.
Some older men are attractive, others aren't. What else do you expect?

Feel like I have to stick up a bit for men in their 20s who are getting a hard time on this thread! Plenty of men my age are interesting, many are in serious relationships in their 20s so it's not like their quite as cretinous as some seem to think on here.

Also OP there in a sincere answer to your original question - I really don't think many women in their 20s are trying to actually find a man to go out with amongst the older married types at their workplace. It is possible that your colleague doesn't really think anything she's doing is particularly untoward. In that particular situation if your colleague's wife is uncomfortable why doesn't she speak to her husband about maintaining professional standards in the workplace.

Bette great posts.

In that particular situation if your colleague's wife is uncomfortable why doesn't she speak to her husband about maintaining professional standards in the workplace.

But that's way too obvious and sensible.

I mean, the senior men in the OP's scenario are being portrayed as inept buffoons.

If the husband doesn't want to do anything about it, on the other hand...

Dowager
I've spent years in support roles at large male dominated companies where older man/younger woman flings are endemic. Trust me, the majority of male managers, who are the worst transgressors, are inept buffoons: Both in their rubbish 'management' skills (they'd be totally **ed without their large female support staff) & their skirt chasing personal life.

That should read:
Totally **ed without their largely female support staff

A colleague described them "as like a bad parody of a Carry On film".

Tbh most of what you have listed as flirting, IMHO is just people having a conversation. I have fun, light hearted banter with most people. I even text men (and women) from work in the evenings! I hug some of them goodbye, even a few we say 'lots of love' when finishing a conversation. I don't consider any of that flirting. It would be flirting if it was sexual, but it's not its just having friends.

There have been rumours started by (let's face it, other women) at work about people having relationships/affairs because a man and a woman were friends. It has very rarely ended up being true, people just read too much into things!

@PinguDance I was just coming on to stick up for the younger man too! I don't know what younger men pp have met but it's certainly not my experience that they are dull and have nothing to say for themselves. If anything they're more interesting than older guys (and better at flirting too!)

The younger guy stuff is really odd. All the men in the world were 25 once. It's an age, not a personality. I never found men my own age boring!

I don't doubt it for a second, CSI! The OP would have us feeling sorry for the poor souls, though.

If senior men are genuinely unhappy with being flirted with, and are in any way even vaguely competent, they can easily shut it down.

Dunno. But my bf is 55 and very attractive, and funny and charming (looks younger than he is). He gets women of all ages fawning over him, including those in their early twenties. Nothing to do with assets, he doesn’t have a pot to piss in! He’s got an evening bar job and recently had a very pretty girl in her early twenties boldly announce that she wants to shag him. It is a bit of a worry that if we ever hit a rocky patch it would be all to easy to accept one of these offers.

I do think there are different types of people when it comes to the older man. I have never had any interest in boys/men my own age from about 15 yo. No real reason other than I always had older friends and also found older looking men more attractive.

However I didn't go after married men at work etc just for the sake of it. I certainly haven't had long term relationships with people for money or promotions either. I admittedly got into a few scrapes by believing some of the bullshit about being separated etc but nothing too heavy and I never went out of my way to 'get' a married man. I did have a theory though that I couldn't think of a single married man whose head couldn't be turned. I have changed my feelings on that since I have got older but I do think there are a large amount who would cheat.

I am now with someone 13 years older who doesn't have money either, it's certainly not a motivation for me.

In all honesty men should be able to look after themselves and not shag some young girl because they throw themselves at them, seriously it is quite pathetic. The fact that some have no will power has no reflection on single girls making it known they are available and fancy them!