Holiday etiquette

[MINKY75]

AIBU? Come away with friends, them two adults two kids, just me and my two kids. We're SC so I'd assumed we'd come up with a fair way to share food bill. First shop they seemed surprised when I suggested paying a little less. Next shop I was again asked to pay half and again pointed out that I wasn't eating and drinking as much as their family. Would you keep quiet and pay half for the sake of a quiet life/harmony?

In your position, i would split groceries 50/50 but wouldn't expect to split restaurant bills 50/50.
If I was in your friend's position, I would split all food/drink costs proportionally.
Accommodation 50/50 fair enough if you have the same number of rooms

I think yabu
There's 3 of your family
There's 4 of them
Its splitting hairs surely
I would pay half

So there's 2 adults 2 kids from their family
1 adult 2 kids in yours
For all the difference it would make yes I would expect to split it and then maybe them buy some extra booze

It depends where you draw the line really , so many shades of grey.
Under 2s - nothing
2-5 =1/3 of adult
5-10= 1/2 of adult
10-15 = 2/3 ( as not drinking)
15+=adult
Adult male drinking alcohol =11/3 ???

A previous poster has suggested that a fair division would be 40/60. Of course it would and that wouldn't take into account her disadvantage if she ate/drank a lot less than her friend's DH. She's already paid half for the accommodation - which is fair if both families have 2 rooms.

This couple are taking the piss. Two adults want to split the bill with one adult in half... not on, you both may have the same number of children but that not the point there’s only one if you and two of them

You’re being mugged off!!

I am normally someone who doesn’t want to quibble over a bill - even if it means I subsidize.

But in your case OP yanbu. You have basically paid half for another adult to eat and drink over two weeks. That adds up.

I’ve been in many different set ups on holiday, and am always mindful of others. There are many nuances, particularly when you are holidaying with a single parent that may be on a single income.

In your case it’s seems like your holiday company are not reasonable and have knowingly taken the piss. No way would my DH be ok with a single women/mother paying half when we have the same number of children. I would not be ok with it either.

YANBU
If I was part of the other couple I would be offering to pay more - not making you feel guilty whilst subsidising us - CFs

I am normally someone who doesn’t want to quibble over a bill - even if it means I subsidise. But in your case OP yanbu. You have basically paid half for another adult to eat and drink over two weeks. That adds up

Totally agree with VintageVelvet on this. I hate bill quibbling - but over the length of a holiday they are being CF on this and should be embarrassed.

I agree with PP that 40/60 is fairer, unless there's special diet or big drinking or more
expensive snacking your end. If it was just the adults it would be 33/67 .
Ime husband's or male partners eat twice what I do so they'd still be getting a good deal! (Unless there is something less typical going on. You know your friends' & your eating habits)

Anyway, they are good enough friends to go away with, surely they wouldn't dream of taking the Mick.

I’d split everything 50:50, it’s too complicated to do otherwise but I might offer to buy extra wine, if I were them.

I can see splitting groceries equally just about but meals out when there is one more adult in their group is unfair.

Don't really get people who don't notice this. Frustrated me on our last holiday with friends who each have 2DCs to our one that the bill was split in 3 with each family paying the same amount . Fine when they are on kids meals, not so fine when they're drinking through cans of coke and eating adult meals.

You can at least insist on just paying your own share for meals out.

Keep splitting 50/50. Start ordering two meals for yourself, and see how long they think this is fair.

better discussed beforehand

^ this

OP STILL HASN'T SAID HOW OLD THE CHILDREN ARE !

Depends how good they are as friends, we are on holiday with friends atm...we went out for dinner the other night , there are 6 of them they all had adult meals , there are 4 if us , we had 3 adult meals and a kid's meal , we split the bill evenly ...I just think fuck the money my friendship is more important than £30 quid .

Having read all the way through the thread, I'm wondering how people manage to arrange to go on holiday together without ever discussing how its all going to work. There are so many permutations of what might be fair in different circumstances, it makes mo sense to me to not at least mention it: how were you thinking we would split the costs seems like a reasonably straightforward way to start the conversation which really does need to be had, up front, while you still have a chance ti make your excuses if you dont like either the result or the approach to deciding. Simples.

£100 divided by 7 = 14.28 approx

14.28 x 4 = 57 approx
14.28 x 3 = 43 approx

So, if you're doing it 50/50, they are underpaying by £7 and you are overpaying by £7.

For the sake of £7 for each £100 spent I'd just go with it.

Meals out are different. I have 2 friends who order bottles of wine with every meal out & want to split the bill 3 ways. I don't drink wine but I do like steak, side orders & dessert.

Arkestra has it spot on. That's the way we've always done it when away with other families, it's the fairest way (even though we had the largest family so paid the most).

I would divide by 7 and you pay 3/7 and they 4/7

This is why I hate group holidays

Op if this was me and dh I would hope you paid exactly what you ate.

And your dc. Ie you only pay for yourself and kids.

Unless money swilling around.. But even then I wouldn't feel comfortable to charge you for my bill.

Are you enjoying the holiday? Being with a couple, whilst being the single adult can be a difficult dynamic.

I do think the other family should put a bit more the pot, and am surprised they don’t at least think that for restaurant bills.

Just to elaborate, we did discuss money before and I suggested we found a way of splitting the cost fairly (we knew we were in an expensive resort; beers £10 and soft drinks £5 etc) and it was agreed. First set of money was sorted and I was asked to pay half but I reminded them of the fact that there was only 3 of us and they suggested a 40/60 split and I paid less. Next time money was spent it was suggested again that we paid half and I pointed out that there was still only 3 of us. Had the shoe been on the other foot I would have ensured my single friend paid less and would have been the one to suggest this at each point. I just feel a bit vulnerable and embarrassed I guess.