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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday etiquette

253 replies

MINKY75 · 31/07/2018 14:26

AIBU? Come away with friends, them two adults two kids, just me and my two kids. We're SC so I'd assumed we'd come up with a fair way to share food bill. First shop they seemed surprised when I suggested paying a little less. Next shop I was again asked to pay half and again pointed out that I wasn't eating and drinking as much as their family. Would you keep quiet and pay half for the sake of a quiet life/harmony?

OP posts:
sprinklesandsauce · 31/07/2018 14:53

I think that 3/7 + 4/7 would be fairer. They might seem surprised but you will usually find that it is the people who are better off with an unfair split, that seem amazed that you should want to change it Grin.

When I went away with a friend, it was 6 of us, 2+4, so we split the accommodation cost that way 2/6 + 4/6. Then when we went away we each took some milk , bread, fruit etc, and then each bought our own stuff at the supermarket, but did share some of it.

mrsm43s · 31/07/2018 14:54

You should, technically be paying 43%, based on a per head share, assuming all kids a similar age (i.e no toddlers/babies).

But I'd really not quibble about that 7%, and just split the bill in half.

Seems a bit tight to nick pick about this tbh.

MissGiddyPants · 31/07/2018 14:56

Money always leads to problems in situations like this.

I used to go away with a friend and her two DDs and my one. We had to get a larger cottage as there was three of them but she only ever paid half the rental. We would give the kids money to go to the shop next door for an ice cream. I would do one day, then she would do the next, then when she went to do the next day as well her eldest DD piped up that her mum had paid the day before so it was my turn.

The best though was when we are at Centre Parcs. I had a bike with pod for DD, my friend had the same and her eldest had just a bike. We had packed up for a day at the pool with picnic lunch and all our swimming stuff. I went to put my bag in the back of my pod to discover that my friend had put her second bag in there! I removed it, and left it up to them to sort out their own stuff.

It is so much easier with equal numbers on both sides.

I am not sure I would argue over a 4:3 ratio, but if I was the larger family I would not expect you to pay as much.

mydogisthebest · 31/07/2018 14:56

Me and DH have been on holiday with my two siblings and their children and always split the accommodation and food bills 3 ways. They both have 2 children.

If money is tight for you though I would mention it

Teacherlikemisstrunchball · 31/07/2018 14:57

How much difference are we talking about?

Rebecca36 · 31/07/2018 14:57

Pay half, never quibble about a small discrepancy.

FiestaThenSiesta · 31/07/2018 14:58

Well it’s not 7% unless you think an adult man eats the same as a child.

FiestaThenSiesta · 31/07/2018 14:59

I wouldn’t quibble if they had 3 toddlers and you had 2. But basically, you’re paying half of what an adult man consumes. Including alcohol.

mostdays · 31/07/2018 15:00

I think you're quibbling, tbh, but why not just get stuff for you and your dc and let them get their own?

Original poster
MINKY75 · 31/07/2018 15:00

I think so far (as we paid half in some rastaurants etc too) the difference would be about £80 with 4 days to go.

OP posts:
MrsSnootyPants2018 · 31/07/2018 15:00

I'd split it half and half to be honest.

Trinity66 · 31/07/2018 15:01

the OP could have 2 teens and they could have 2 toddlers in which case she should be paying more

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/07/2018 15:01

Maybe OP is a single parent and does have to be careful financially. But she's right in that she shouldn't really have had to ask that it's split fairly. I assume the accommodation was fair in a 50:50 split as presumably the other family would be using two bedrooms, same as OP (if kids share)?

hidinginthenightgarden · 31/07/2018 15:02

I actually don't think you are being unfair.
An extra adult is likely to be costing an extra £30ish or more. They have presumably 2 incomes versus your 1 to be paying for it!

brizzledrizzle · 31/07/2018 15:03

I'd be inclined to pay half just to avoid arguments but if you'd already paid 1/2 the cost of the house then I can see why you'd feel a bit reluctant to pay half of the food too.

CookPassBabtridge · 31/07/2018 15:05

It should be 3/7 for you, can't stand people who aren't fair with bill splitting. The people saying leave it probably have lots of money.

Gardenpicnic · 31/07/2018 15:06

I think by the time you are on holiday it is far too late to talk about it, should have been discussed before booking so you both (you and your friend) get a chance to decide if it's not for you.

Original poster
MINKY75 · 31/07/2018 15:07

As in I'd be £80 worse off.

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 31/07/2018 15:08

I wouldn’t expect one adult to pay the same as two adults, tbh. If you were on holiday with us we’d have made this clear at the beginning.

YANBU at all

BIWI · 31/07/2018 15:09

Splitting things 'equally' isn't equal for the OP though!

As an example. Let's say just the three adults go out for dinner, and the bill comes to £90. Splitting it in half means that the OP has to pay £45 rather than £30 if they split it per person. So she would be paying 50% more!

So an 'equal' split, definitely isn't fair.

Calendargurl · 31/07/2018 15:10

Depends - if your kids are teens and theirs toddlers then halving it is fair, but if kids are comparable ages then I would expect you to pay a bit less and wouldn't ask you to pay half if I were them.

mrsm43s · 31/07/2018 15:13

OP, how are you spitting it when you calculate your £80?

Because on a 4:3 split, that would mean you'd spent over £1100 between you on food! Surely not?

What's your version of a "fair" way to split it?

Littlechocola · 31/07/2018 15:16

I would just pay half. It seems quite petty to make a big thing out of it.

ElevenTwelths · 31/07/2018 15:18

What OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny said

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 31/07/2018 15:20

It can't be entirely coincidental that most (not all) people who insist it's too much bother to calculate a fair split of bills etc also happen to be the ones who pay proportionally less as a result.

YANBU.