Holiday etiquette

[MINKY75]

AIBU? Come away with friends, them two adults two kids, just me and my two kids. We're SC so I'd assumed we'd come up with a fair way to share food bill. First shop they seemed surprised when I suggested paying a little less. Next shop I was again asked to pay half and again pointed out that I wasn't eating and drinking as much as their family. Would you keep quiet and pay half for the sake of a quiet life/harmony?

I think we need to know the exact ages of the children. Two adults plus two toddlers is roughly equal to one adult and two teens (in fact one adult and two teens could eat more!).

We have spent £1000, yes. 7 people, two weeks, restaurants for dome lunches and dinners, a few bars etc.

I wouldn't quibble if it were an extra child. But an extra adult, factoring in alcohol too, is a massive difference and no way would I be happy with that. If there were no kids and just the three of you out for a meal would the bill be split in half or thirds? Because you are two families it's muddied the water but it's very unfair imo.

We have spent £1000, yes. 7 people, two weeks, restaurants for dome lunches and dinners, a few bars etc.

are all the kids similar ages or are there teens there?

I am assuming that the 50/50 split on the accommodation is because you each have the same number of bedrooms ( and hopefully ensuites) so that is fair enough. But the food thing should I think be split properly, it's the old, but I didn't drink, and didn't have a starter restaurant bill, but for every meal, for the whole holiday.

either ignore the fact that some kids are slightly younger, split the bills three ways, their family pays two thirds yours pays one third . Or do it per head, they pay four sevenths you pay three sevenths.

The first way comes out slightly in your favour, so if it turns out they HAVE got the only ensuite I would go for this one!

It's not fair to keep splitting it OP, especially in restaurants. They are 2 adults you are 1. From now on, pay for exactly what you and your DC eat when you eat out. Ask for a separate tab if necessary.

This is why I don't get involved in buying rounds as a single person. Couples buy as couples, not as individuals so I have to buy 2 drinks for every 1 I get back and it doubles the cost of a night out which I can't afford.

it's not the 4/3 that would worry me but the 2/1 adults and alcohol. That is going to make a big difference to the grocery and restaurant bills.
YANBU to mention it OP but unless the £100 or so over the week is a real problem for you I'd probably suck it up (and grumble to myself) rather than losing a friend.

are all the kids similar ages or are there teens there?

But once you start doing this, and adding £££ for this child because they're older, taking £££ away because this person doesn't eat meat, adding in £££ because this child has special snacks etc, then just don't split - each pay for your own family.

The only reasonable ways of splitting really is by family (so 50:50) or by person (so 43:57). If you want to be fiddling about more than that, you're into each pay for themselves territory.

Would depend on ages and specifics:

Similar aged kids, adults all have roughly same amounts of food and little alcohol - say nothing

Your kids are older and increased food consumption so your family of three eats as much as theirs of 4 - say nothing.

Similar aged kids and the adults drink double your intake of alcohol - definitely say something.

Similar aged kids and you drink/eat significantly less than other adults - say something.

They have teenagers/older kids who also increase their food bill - say something.

If there is a significant discrepancy between your families food bill, and theirs you should expect to pay proportional amounts. If there is only a small amount in it, then I wouldn't say anything for the sake of having a peaceful holiday.

I took my mum out for a meal with my sister and her family once. She said shall we split the bill halves when it came. I was really taken aback - it was her, her husband, her two teenagers and a toddler, and me and a 6 month old. She was a bit pissed off when i suggested instead that I pay for mine and my mum's meal.

Their kids are slightly older but not significantly. If we do an equal split I'm basically paying for half of my friend's husband's food and drink over 2 weeks...

But once you start doing this, and adding £££ for this child because they're older, taking £££ away because this person doesn't eat meat, adding in £££ because this child has special snacks etc, then just don't split - each pay for your own family.

Yeah I agree with you but I'm just curious to know because If the OPs kids are teens and the other families are younger children then the OP is probably saving money.

But yeah splitting by family in restaurants, getting two separate bills would be fairest, if you're sharing shopping though I don't could I be be bothered being that petty

What does SC mean?

@catlady34 Self Catering

Self catering

Self Catering

YANBU - I’d mention it again and suggest they pay extra to make up what you have already paid out. How does it work out for alcohol? Are you all drinking the same?

Are there other costs such as car hire or petrol that they are paying that you might not have though of?

this is why we always keep the majority of our food separate when we go away with my brothers family. It sounds very unfair to you.

Ah, thank you! I was thinking Step Children and felt a bit puzzled

I don't think you should have to subsidize another adult, that's not fair.

Their kids are slightly older but not significantly. If we do an equal split I'm basically paying for half of my friend's husband's food and drink over 2 weeks...

Well, only if every person has eaten exactly the same. That's the thing with a split, you don't pay the exact amount of what you eat and drink, but a rough approximation. If you want to pay for just exactly your share, don't get into a "split" situation. Sometimes you and your children may have have eaten more than half, sometimes less, unless you literally count out one croissant per person every breakfast, then it's hard to know ;)

I probably wouldn’t work everything out in 7ths but I would expect some evening up. If they all eat like birds and you do not 50/50 could be a fair split but I know if DH, our 2 DC and I went on holiday with duplicate me and duplicate 2 DCs although there would be 7 of us, DH would eat about 1/3rd of the food.

So YAprobablyNBU..

Why would a person with two teens go on holiday with a couple with two toddlers? Rather unlikely unless there's a family connection.

I am all for even splits and less hassle but I also like to be fair, a per head split would fix this and you could focus on enjoying your holiday
If the kids are roughly the same age then it sounds like this couple count themselves as one person OP?

Actually I've come up against this as well, with my mum and sister.

Sister and mum wanted to pay half between them, and me pay the other half - but I have two kids and my kids are teenaged boys. They#re huge.

SO I've insisted on paying 3/5 and tbh I still think they''re getting a raw deal.

Easiest way is buy your own groceries, they buy their own groceries, you cook for you and your kids with your food, they cook for them and their kids with their food, then it's fair , nobody is having to paying more or less..