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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can i (a dad) get my toddlers Vaccination jabs done without the mothers consent?

295 replies

TheUnknowner · 31/07/2018 00:02

Basically what it says in the title.

My soon to be wife is dead against it as she believes all that crap on the Internet about it causing autism etc

I called the doctors and she told me i would need her consent but to be honest she sounded like she just wanted to get me off the phone or maybe didn't actually know.

He is 2 in a few weeks and honestly i forgot all about it until something reminded me.

Surely being the dad i should be able to get it done i doubt she would need my consent if it was the other way around right?

OP posts:
LoveInTokyo · 02/08/2018 09:22

Last thing the world needs is anti vaccination to become bloody trendy.

What a terrifying thought.

I think if we get to a point where a certain percentage of children are going unvaccinated because of their parents' stupid beliefs, or the number of cases of preventable illnesses reaches a certain level due to non vaccination, the government should look at making vaccinations compulsory.

BarbarianMum · 02/08/2018 12:23

Last thing the world needs is anti vaccination to become bloody trendy.

The reality is that, when it gets trendy enough, there'll be an epidemic (at which point watch the anti-vaxxers drop their convictions and stampede local health centres demanding vaccine for their children). Some children will die, including babies too young to be vaccinated if it's something like measles, many more will be disabled in some way - and, having seen the results of one of these diseases up close, uptake rates will increase for a generation - until people forget again.

Jux · 02/08/2018 12:33

^Last thing the world needs is anti vaccination to become bloody trendy.*

Wakefield's been in the US for about 15 years now, talking about this. I'm assuming the trendiest period was when he first came out with it back when dd was small. I suppose it may gain a bit more traction, now that there are more people in the US prepared to stand up and be known as utterly dumb since Trump's victory. Otherwise, I hope that there are still more sensible people in the world than there are stupid....

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 12:39

That means the surgery can’t do them

It doesn't. They don't need permission from both parents, a signature from either is enough. The other parent would need a court order to stop it.

I think if we get to a point where a certain percentage of children are going unvaccinated because of their parents' stupid beliefs, or the number of cases of preventable illnesses reaches a certain level due to non vaccination....

We're already there, and past it.

Wakefield's been in the US for about 15 years now, talking about this. I'm assuming the trendiest period was when he first came out with it back when dd was small. I suppose it may gain a bit more traction, now that there are more people in the US prepared to stand up and be known as utterly dumb since Trump's victory

He's friends with the president and dating a bloody supermodel. I think its safe to say he's already got plenty of trendy support

Starstruck2020 · 02/08/2018 12:46

All my children are immunised. But both myself and my husband agreed.

What sort of marriage will you have if you sneak around doing something like that she feels so strongly about. If your views are that different you should seriously be thinking about your relationship.

If a doctor or nurse knew I don’t think it would be very ethical of them to give the vaccination

Xenia · 02/08/2018 12:50

I had my twins vaccinated privately (£400) - BCG in their teens as the school was not doing it. I didn't ask their father (but he and I always both supported vaccinations so I don't think it was needed and he would have agreed and no one asked me if the father consented).

it is very important here though that the mother knows with a small child because otherwise she might get it done again the next week, the child has a double dose and dies or something.

BarbarianMum · 02/08/2018 12:57

What sort of marriage do you think they'll have when their child is blinded by measles? Does he just give her a kiss and tells her he understands?

AngkorWaat · 02/08/2018 12:58

If it were me I would just quietly book them in without mentioning the previous telephone conversation, and get the vaxes. If it resulted in the end of my relationship then so be it. If it was a difference in opinion over ear piercing or something I can understand the need to agree, but this is of such fundamental importance I would go to court to get them done if needed.

LoveInTokyo · 02/08/2018 13:01

What sort of marriage will you have if you sneak around doing something like that she feels so strongly about. If your views are that different you should seriously be thinking about your relationship.

Yeah, it's easy for you to take the moral high ground when you're not married to an anti-vax lunatic and your children are protected.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 02/08/2018 14:17

It doesn't. They don't need permission from both parents, a signature from either is enough. The other parent would need a court order to stop it

That’s not actually true.
If they have the knowledge that one parent doesn’t consent. If they don’t know that already then it only takes one to consent but with that advance knowledge they need the one withholding consent to stop doing so OR a court order.

It’s on page 12 of the green book (immunisation medical practitioners guidence)

Can i (a dad) get my toddlers Vaccination jabs done without the mothers consent?
Mousefunky · 02/08/2018 14:33

My xH took the DC for some of their vaccinations and they never asked for my consent so yes, you could legally do this. However I reckon your relationship would be over.

Purringkittenmama · 02/08/2018 14:50

My DS was born when the Wakefield issue was very much in the news (he is 17) and because of that we refused MMR.
We did ensure though that he had the single jabs instead.
I haven't read the full thread- maybe others have suggested this- but could that work for you? I think they are just as effective but obviously your DC would be at a slightly increased risk initially as there is a time lag between receiving each individual jab- about a month from memory.
We had ours done at a private GP practice.

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 15:34

single jabs are less effective and a pointless sop to a non issue.

Fluffycloudland77 · 02/08/2018 16:35

I can't believe someone on here honestly believes no babies died of SIDS before vaccinations.

The mortality rates for under 5's were horrific. They just didn't know the term for it.

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 16:40

people are stupid.

Purringkittenmama · 02/08/2018 16:42

Man- do you have any evidence that supports your view that single jabs are less effective? I would be interested to know as I thought that the increased risk was linked to the delay between receiving jabs- ie. your DC is still at risk of mumps and rubella until these can be given if only the measles jab has been received.
I broadly agree with your view that MMR is better- but if that isn't an option that the OP's DP is willing to consider, I guess single jabs are a much better option than nothing

kayakingmum · 02/08/2018 16:45

Wow- you've got 10 pages of posts on this topic! Anyway if you want my 2 cents worth just do it!
As to whether you tell her or not only you know your fiance well enough if she's better off not knowing. Could be quite hard to cover it up.

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 16:48

You asked me why they are less effective and then explained why.

but if that isn't an option that the OP's DP is willing to consider, I guess single jabs are a much better option than nothing

No the better option is that OP simply takes the child for their vaccinations. If their partner is too selfish or stupid to do it, then he should be the effective parent and just do it.

CheshireChat · 02/08/2018 16:58

manaftermidnight any source for that, never heard that single vaccinations would be less effective.

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 17:05

Sources everywhere, you can find them yourself.

CeridwensCottage · 02/08/2018 17:07

Acting in the child’s best interests is what the vaccinating parent would be doing.

What would happen if one parent didn’t believe in hospital treatment or antibiotics or blood transfusion? No court would tolerate that nonsense.

God help us if polio ever gains a grip again. Measles can be damaging enough - yes I know it can kill as well, but polio is terrible.

CheshireChat · 02/08/2018 20:35

manaftermidnight I get it, you're a twat.

The sources I found didn't actually conclude that the single jabs in themselves aren't effective, just the whole process is lengthier and a lot less efficient. Quite different.

KoolAidPickle · 02/08/2018 20:53

calling someone a twat because they aren't your personal google? Nice

LoveInTokyo · 02/08/2018 21:28

Anybody standing in the way of children being vaccinated is a twat.

NameWithChamge · 02/08/2018 21:38

Anyone who goes behind their partners back to do something they know is against their wishes is a twat! They are both adults and need to find an adult way to parent together.