Complaints when eating out due to other customers?

[sweatingcobs]

AIBU to complain to a sandwich/bar place for the fact another customer was IMO very rude and arrogant towards us, and the staff handled it badly? And by badly I mean they just ignored us at walked off with our a word when pipped up?

I understand you can't do anything about the customer, ( that's not really my complaint, but pissed me off)
I'm local, he clearly wasn't, so I know it's not like he's going to be there again

This place was where I went for drinks the night before my wedding. It was the place I first ventured to with my 5 week old baby, and another lovely member of staff kindly pushed her round in the pram when I was near to tears because I couldn't calm her and my food was getting cold.

I suffer PND and it was one of the few places I felt okay going with DD and regularly go there with her to meet other mums or lunch with family.

I requested some doors to be pulled to as the weather had taken a sudden turn and went cold, his comments were along the lines of I shouldn't have a baby there anyway and had used to his chair to block us and the staff from closing them. When the staff tried he said no I like the fresh air and it was my own fault. The staff member just walked off without a word at that point, so I called him back over and asked if we could be moved in that case. What wound me up was the other children on the table next to us ended up wrapped in blankets because of one guy!

Would I be out of order to email explaining this?

I might be way over reacting, but it was somewhere I felt safe going with my 6mo either on my own or with people, because I knew the staff were understanding

I've not reported any post. @ProfessorMoody your like a dog with a bone, even following me on another post now. I'm starting to think you have a vendetta against me and tbf it's quite weird.

Scolotti - I'm not following you. Please don't flatter yourself. I commented on a post about Wales because, guess what? I live in Wales!

I've told you twice now, it's you're. Goodness me.

Which you tagged me in?! Creep

Tagged you in what? Erm, I'm not a creep. I've commented on two threads that you happen to be on. I really think you have issues.

Umbongo - cheers! Happy to be a twat, hopefully that won't be a deletable offence, like calling someone a dick is

I go several times a month, I was just using that of an example of how good they have been to me before

I think this is very telling, I suspect you expected them to take your side in this and part of the upset is they didn't, you didn't feel special. In addition you've accepted you're not very well still so know you're over reacting.

As said, focus on yourself and let this go. You're mental health is what's important here.

When I was really unwell with PND, I used to obsess about things like this OP. Try and let it go and focus on getting yourself well again

OP you’ve had some really harsh comments here, and what surprises me is that some have still come even after you’ve stated numerous times you’re struggling with PND. I really hope you can get the help you need, and try to give your mind some peace and not dwell on this horrible experience (I speak from personal experience as someone who cannot get out of her own head and replay horrible interactions over and over and over again)

Prof Moody you’re getting the real rough end of the stick here. Keep sticking up for people with MH problems, you’re very articulate and doing a good job for people who need support 😀

I understand giving your MH challenges that the cafe represents a safe space for you but the problem is, it isn’t solely your space.

in the circumstances I would have moved. It solves your problem without inconveniencing others who didn’t share your objections, although the man was being a bit of a dick. Given the drip feed of it not just be you in your party and the rain etc it does make it difficult to get a picture of the incident given the fluidity of your story.

This incident and your obsession over it, just highlights that your MH changes needs continued support. I hope you are getting help and feeling much stronger soon.

Thank you, JustJoined, I will do

I don't think the op is asking about the man as such but how the staff handled the problem. It could have been any problem between customers and their wishes and the op feels it was not handled well. I agree, the staff should have helped you more and if not trained could have asked the manager to assist. These sort of problems must happen all the time and staff should be able to smooth things over at least.

It does read that the OP expected the cafe to automatically side with her because she is a regular. Why else would you even mention that they are not from the area?

Sometimes disagreements don't go your way. I would just chalk it up to experience

You could try EMDR for distressing thoughts. There is lots online about it and you can 'do it yourself'. Though I'm talking about repetitive distressing thoughts about something, not a life changing trauma which you would need proper support for. I felt it helped me. Or you could write the whole episode down. That can help stop repeated thoughts and get things out of your head.

OP, your mistake was posting in AIBU and then saying that you have PND. That’s a rallying call for the nastiest cunts on this site to flock like vultures to pick at your vulnerability.

Some of you should be ashamed. There is a way to tell someone who has a mental illness that they may have overreacted without behaving like an utter bitch.

OP you’ve had some really harsh comments here, and what surprises me is that some have still come even after you’ve stated numerous times you’re struggling with PND.

Doesn't surprise me. MN is just packed to the rafters with sneery fuckers these days, not just new names but sadly also some very familiar old names as well, who were always like that to be fair but now really seem to have set a permanent tone. I would never start a thread about anything that I was feeling fragile about these days, used to start them all the time just a few years ago and got toasted a few times admittedly but not like now. There's a rabidity and glee in ripping into posters that was never there before.

A bloke tells a woman with PND in a cafe that she shouldn't be there with her baby and SHE's the one in the wrong?

These responses are bizarre. Sure there's a legitimate discussion to be had about balancing the needs of customers with conflicting wishes but how is it ok for him to tell her she shouldn't be there?

If other customers were cold it sounds like the MAN got his way over the vulnerable woman with a child.

That doesn't surprise me but a load of women jumping in to tell her how unreasonable she is is depressing.

Some people are just jerks, I wouldn't complain as it sounds like the staff were in a difficult situation. Don't let people like this stop you from getting out and about. Next time something like that happens try singing annoying repetitive songs to your baby, some loud laughter and conversation about some awful digestive issues your baby is having. Hopefully they leave sooner rather than later.

Try separating the issues. The other customer was rude, beyond their control. The door was open, you asked to change it but other customer preferred not. Surely the default is to leave as is unless there were health and safety concerns (floor getting slippery due to rain for example). You moved table, staff could have helped more, at least cleared the new table, but there were several other adults on your party to assist you. Not really worth the effort of writing but what would you want to be the outcome, a free coffee?