Complaints when eating out due to other customers?

[sweatingcobs]

AIBU to complain to a sandwich/bar place for the fact another customer was IMO very rude and arrogant towards us, and the staff handled it badly? And by badly I mean they just ignored us at walked off with our a word when pipped up?

I understand you can't do anything about the customer, ( that's not really my complaint, but pissed me off)
I'm local, he clearly wasn't, so I know it's not like he's going to be there again

This place was where I went for drinks the night before my wedding. It was the place I first ventured to with my 5 week old baby, and another lovely member of staff kindly pushed her round in the pram when I was near to tears because I couldn't calm her and my food was getting cold.

I suffer PND and it was one of the few places I felt okay going with DD and regularly go there with her to meet other mums or lunch with family.

I requested some doors to be pulled to as the weather had taken a sudden turn and went cold, his comments were along the lines of I shouldn't have a baby there anyway and had used to his chair to block us and the staff from closing them. When the staff tried he said no I like the fresh air and it was my own fault. The staff member just walked off without a word at that point, so I called him back over and asked if we could be moved in that case. What wound me up was the other children on the table next to us ended up wrapped in blankets because of one guy!

Would I be out of order to email explaining this?

I might be way over reacting, but it was somewhere I felt safe going with my 6mo either on my own or with people, because I knew the staff were understanding

I would let it go personally OP.

some seriously nasty people on here.

Why are you dwelling on this? I honestly don't get it. They didn't shut the doors when you asked them to, and now you don't feel safe going there any more? The bloke was an arse, he didn't know you have PND and for all you know he may have MH issues also? This is the consequence when everyone thinks they are a special case.

It's not warm here today. In fact it has been raining most of the day.

Sorry to hear this happened OP, but if I were you I'd chalk it up to experience.

The cafe staff were never going to please everyone so perhaps took the path of least resistance?

I hope you're ok xx

Happy to let it go, like I said clearly U

Just don't appreciate the personal attacks from some post when I've clearly mentioned I suffered PND, and now see I wasn't emotionally where I thought I was

You seem very highly strung. Almost crying Cos your food was going cold. Complaining due to another customer, not mentioning what you've done. The place has probably had enough of you.

Have all these posters failed to notice that the OP has already admitted to being unreasonable?

OP, I'd leave the thread now, you have your answer, you were being slightly precious (but not much imo), don't complain. If you keep engaging now, certain posters will just keep attacking.

Hiya OP

Unfortunately I think this isn’t about the other customer it’s about your mental health

These things happen all the time and are not big issues, for most people. I think maybe you are struggling still with the pnd or some anxiety and that’s why it’s shaken you up so much. Perhaps seek some support in real life through health visitor or GP and try to look after yourself. Breathing exercises, yoga, exercise, tablets, counselling - whatever you think might be the help you need.
Mental health needs a lot of attention and it can take a long time to feel better after a bout of mental illness so be kind to yourself and things will feel better.

Best of luck x

OP have you had some help for your PND? The reason so many people are surprised at this reaction is just because it is so unusual. Some help and support from a professional would really help you, mental health issues are not fun

He sounds like a knob op, and I'm sorry you're upset, both by how he behaved and by some of the comments on here. Aibu can be brutal and people often come across as overly harsh, it's easier to be less diplomatic when its words on a page to a stranger over the internet, please try not to let harsh comments upset you.

Cafe wise, the staff could have handled the situation better, like you say, not by forcing the door closing issue but by helping your table move etc. The man sounds horrible and aggressive and I would be upset to be spoken to like that as well. In situations like this I find it best to try and not dwell on it, and just try and accept that some people just behave horribly, and are not all that nice.

Scolotti - are you as much of a dick in real life as you are in your Mumsnet posts?

Do you have any friends?

Do you always have blankets to hand when you’re out and about for all of the children there.

God some people on here really are bloody nasty actually. Please ignore them OP, some people obviously just like to feel better about themselves by behaving like dicks to others online

@sweatingcobs try to ignore the wallies on here and that real life wally. I get where you're coming from. I'd have been upset too as I generally expect folks to behave reasonably. That man was a total and utter arse. Go back to the cafe and don't let it put you off taking dd out.

Was it a Wetherspoons

I haven't spoken to any other than my DH and briefly the HV, but did try and brush it off and say I was fine. I didn't tell her about the self harm, but that was a few months ago and I thought I was past it.

Clearly not, thank you those with genuine advice, as pp have said I'm going to leave this now and talk to my HV more openly about how I'm feeling

Many professor. All would have the same reaction as me. I don't go our to complain in establishments though so... just because some (most) of us think op was being a drama llama, doesn't make us dicks

Well done OP - yes do ask for help dealing with the anxiety as it’s horrible for you to have to feel Unsafe or emotional when you should be able to relax and enjoy a coffee

You are not alone, 1 in 4 Of us are affected in some way with mental illness, myself included. Stay strong you can do it x

If you have pnd and self harmed a few months ago and t haven’t spoke to anyone then yes you really need to.

They are a lot of services out there that the HV will put you in contact with but she can only help you if you are being honest.

Forgot what happened today, you need to focus on the real issue of taking care of yourself.

Op I hope this doesn't stop you going back to the cafe and trying to find other 'safe' places to go.
I'm sorry the man was rude and upset you. I don't think you need to complain as it was a hard situation for the staff with customers arguing over a door.
I think you need to forget all about him. I know it's hard and the PND makes you dwell on things like that and upset you.

Some posters here need to read ops posts and treat people with some kindness. Yes it may seem trivial but not when you have PND and feel vulnerable and scared. Sticking the boot in on here is just mean and uncalled for.

I don't understand why people are incredulous it's cold. It's raining here and 16c. Not got above 17c all day
sooo, not cold then?

Lots of very unpleasant posts here and some people who seem to struggle with reading comprehension.

We go to a cafe very often which has sliding doors open in all weathers and it can be really chilly. They keep blankets for people sitting outside in cold weather. Today wasn't exactly cold but it was far cooler than it has been and I needed a jacket on.

Try not to fret about it, OP. Maybe easier said than done, but keep reminding yourself you won't see the chap again. And as others have said, maybe see your GP for help with the PND.

I'd stay clear of AIBU for a while too. Not the place for people who aren't feeling robust, which is a shame.

It's equally possible that the man had MH issues. Or that the person with him was a menopausal woman having a flush, or someone was going through a bi polar heat flash.

Can you see OP that it would be very unfair of you to complain about the cafe staff? You could cause someone problems at work which would be very unjust. Seeing as you were such a large party, I can't imagine the staff thought they needed to help you move - surely they would have been in the way?

Agree with PP you should seek more help with your own MH issues, but as 1 in 4 suffer with MH problems, your needs don't come above other people's just because you like that cafe, or just because you have a baby.

Yes, cold. I have difficulty regulating my body temperature due to an illness and to me, 16 is freezing and I need the heating on

So you have no true concept of cold and hot then. 16/17 degrees is normal summer weather in the UK. It is by no objective method cold. Just because you feel cold does not mean it actually is cold.