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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Complaints when eating out due to other customers?

168 replies

sweatingcobs · 30/07/2018 17:59

AIBU to complain to a sandwich/bar place for the fact another customer was IMO very rude and arrogant towards us, and the staff handled it badly? And by badly I mean they just ignored us at walked off with our a word when pipped up?

I understand you can't do anything about the customer, ( that's not really my complaint, but pissed me off)
I'm local, he clearly wasn't, so I know it's not like he's going to be there again

This place was where I went for drinks the night before my wedding. It was the place I first ventured to with my 5 week old baby, and another lovely member of staff kindly pushed her round in the pram when I was near to tears because I couldn't calm her and my food was getting cold.

I suffer PND and it was one of the few places I felt okay going with DD and regularly go there with her to meet other mums or lunch with family.

I requested some doors to be pulled to as the weather had taken a sudden turn and went cold, his comments were along the lines of I shouldn't have a baby there anyway and had used to his chair to block us and the staff from closing them. When the staff tried he said no I like the fresh air and it was my own fault. The staff member just walked off without a word at that point, so I called him back over and asked if we could be moved in that case. What wound me up was the other children on the table next to us ended up wrapped in blankets because of one guy!

Would I be out of order to email explaining this?

I might be way over reacting, but it was somewhere I felt safe going with my 6mo either on my own or with people, because I knew the staff were understanding

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 30/07/2018 20:05

YNBU to complain. Hopefully you’ll get a free bottle of wine / lunch or something. That said I feel for the staff member. Although they didn’t handle it well, it sounds like a very tricky thing to handle.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/07/2018 20:06

Hopefully you’ll get a free bottle of wine / lunch or something.

But... why?! The staff didn’t actually do anything wrong, it was a disagreement between two customers. Why should they apologise and dish out freebies?

ProfessorMoody · 30/07/2018 20:06

I kind of do, seeing as I've had the illness for a couple of years. 16 can feel chilly and it may have been colder where OP was. It was 12 here. You are aware there was hail day before yesterday?

scolotti · 30/07/2018 20:08

@ProfessorMoody just because I think the op was being extremely unreasonable and I've replied in aibu, im a dick. Yet your the only one calling people vile names. You need to calm down and avoid aibu of someone strongly disagreeing upsets you.

vincettenoir · 30/07/2018 20:12

Because although I agree with posters who are saying OP’s needs don’t trump other people’s, the staff could have done more to accommodate them. It seems like the staff member didn’t know how to handle it, so just didn’t bother.

petrolpump28 · 30/07/2018 20:15

OP take is easy mate, gather your family round you, chat to your friends , lean into your partner and forget these idiots on here.

fezzesarecool · 30/07/2018 20:16

vincettenoir Or maybe the staff member also has MH issues and did the best they could in the situation

It’s not like the staff member stopped them from moving tables. They could have been a bit shaken up from the situation, went away to get their head straight and on returning the op had already asked to move tables

petrolpump28 · 30/07/2018 20:18

when you dont feel great small things become big and sometimes vice versa,
Where is the compassion.

Mehaveit · 30/07/2018 20:20

@isadoradancing123

There is nowhere in the U.K. That any child would need to be wrapped in blankets during the last six weeks, get over yourself

My kids regularly wrap themselves in blankets regardless of the weather including a random blanket found at a blazing hot soft play place. Odd behaviour yes but not implausible given we went out in shorts and t-shirts today then the rain clouds came over with the wind and it was freezing!

Cherrysherbet · 30/07/2018 20:20

what an absolute arse he was op. I would have been fuming too. I hate sitting in a chilly room to eat, so I totally understand. It sounds like the staff member didn't know how to handle the situation, so tried to brush it under the carpet. I wouldnt blame him, or formally complain, as I think it was clear who was in the wrong here......the twat who blocked the door. Try not to worry, YANBU....some people are just rude.

biscuiteater · 30/07/2018 20:21

Manaftermidnight I wouldn't be comfortable to sit in 16/17c. I imagine you heat your house more than that in the winter, I certainly do.

vincettenoir · 30/07/2018 20:25

If the situation you describe is correct (the staff member didn’t handle it correctly because of their own mental health problems) then the establishment could perhaps acknowledge more could have been done and may even offer a freebie, like I said in my first post.

Sleephead1 · 30/07/2018 20:26

I'm sorry you where upset I think you have probably invested a lot into this place and it has a emotional effect on you. I'm sure the people who work their like you and your baby but deal with loads of customers every day, they probably have regulars they see every day. They cant prioritise you because you go in more often than this man. They can't really do anything if one of you wants the door closed and one of you wants it open. They couldn't move the man. The staff working there couldn't really do a awful lot they probably assumed if you wanted to move you would and you had 3 other adults with you so probably would have assumed you didn't need help moving. If you had been alone they may have come over to help you move. I'm sorry its upset you so much and you are feeling anxious I think it may be worth reaching out for help with that. Try and forget about today if you can

ProfessorMoody · 30/07/2018 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

scolotti · 30/07/2018 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ProfessorMoody · 30/07/2018 20:29

Well yes. I've pointed it out a number of times but you didn't seem to be getting it. I'm glad you have now though Smile

Summersup · 30/07/2018 20:30

Yet another man being rude and obstructive to waiting staff, with no 'live and let live' attitude. It's an epidemic of nasty men out there.

scolotti · 30/07/2018 20:31

@ProfessorMoody why have you jumped on my post personally, instead of many others you could have chosen. Genuinely curious.

ProfessorMoody · 30/07/2018 20:33

*scolotti

You seem very highly strung. Almost crying Cos your food was going cold. Complaining due to another customer, not mentioning what you've done. The place has probably had enough of you*

The OP has mental health issues.

Your foul words are ableist and just downright nasty.

HTH.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 30/07/2018 20:34

isadora DD 10 will be cold when everyone else is hot, and hot when everyone else is cold. She spent the whole of last week in her denim jacket, average temperature 33° here.

scolotti · 30/07/2018 20:36

Sorry I'm still not getting it. Calling her highly strung, maybe slightly mean (not as mean as calling someone a dick), but she posted on aibu and I answered. That doesn't make me a dick surely? If she acts like this every time she goes there, added to the fact that the man was also aggressive and entitled, no wonder the staff didn't want to get involved over the petty drama. MH issues or not. She asked for an answer, I replied.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/07/2018 20:54

Interesting to see whose posts are being deleted by MNHQ though!

scolotti · 30/07/2018 20:56

touché @ShirleyPhallus

ProfessorMoody · 30/07/2018 20:57

Shirley - it depends on who reports a post as to whether it's deleted. As I haven't reported the ableist comments against someone who is struggling with mental illness, they haven't been deleted. If someone wants to report me for saying the word dick, then it will be.

That's how it works unfortunately.

ProfessorMoody · 30/07/2018 20:57

Scolotti - do you know what touché means? 😂

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