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Original poster

Charity Donations - I may have BU

292 replies

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 30/07/2018 14:13

Just done a bit of a clear out - the first of a number needing done in this house over the next few weeks.
Today it was coats and toys from the garage. I always separate into "sellable" and "rags" and send anything unsellable to fabric recycling.

So - 6 black bags into the car.

Went to my charity shop of choice (shop A) - my friend volunteers there - bum, I forgot its closed on a Monday - however I'm out now, need to not carry these things in the car for weeks - I'm in a fairly big town/city - we have a goodly choice of charity shop, even if most in the city centre aren't easy to park at.

Anyway - I find another - Shop B. Pull up outside, road is wide enough to not obstruct the traffic but I'm not "parked" - Grab a couple of bags, take them in, head back to the car for a couple more - I can then hear the front of shop assistant say to someone "Are we taking donations - she's just dumping things"....I take in 2 more bags to be met with the manager from the back office "We aren't actually taking things I mean, I can take this lot but no more - we don't have many volunteers you know, and the charity shop down the road has closed so everyone dumps everything on us".....

I was a bit perturbed - I did say something along the lines of "Sorry, I was just doing my best trying to help...." and left - in a bit of a daze as to the conversation I had just had.

Round the corner to shop C (more main road so I really hate stopping outside but again - its a wide road so I'm not actually obstructing anyone. Popped in, asked "Are you accepting donations?" - the assistant replied Yes - thank you so much, we LOVE donations and we are happy to accept them"....

So I gave her my last 2 bags and explained another shop had really not been very gracious about accepting things.

Now - this may be where I get unreasonable - I was still so upset at Shop B that I went back, stopped the car, and went back in. I said (politely, honest) "Hi, I dropped some bags off about 10 minutes ago but I got the feeling that you weren't happy to accept the donations - I have found another shop that is happy, so if I can have my 4 bags back, I'll take them round there".

Front of shop went to get the manager. She came out of the office "We are happy to take your donations - but there are only 2 of us."

I replied "To be honest, I felt that you accepted my donations really ungratefully - these are items that my children wore and used - I really would rather they went somewhere that my donations weren't seen as a burden"

Manager "Well we are happy to take them".

Me "Well, I haven't been led to believe you are happy to take them, and I feel really upset by the way my donations have been grudgingly accepted. So Can I take them back - I'll relieve you of them and I'll take them to somewhere that has said they would be thrilled."

Manager "We are always happy to take them"

Me - "well, that's not how I've been made to feel - maybe make yourself a cup of tea as I can see you are not happy today but please have a think about how you have made me feel".

Manager - "I don't have 5 minutes for a cup of tea"....

I left, with my bags, took them to shop C who were absolutely thrilled.

I am incredibly non confrontational. I am very shy and quiet but also very generous and have a background in charity volunteering and in customer service.

(I also hit my head really badly just before I went out with something I was taking to the tip and I'm wondering if I've done my head some damage).

For background - 1 of the charity shops is a national chain, 1 is a local charity with 2 shops in our town/city.

The contents of the bags were jackets - good named brands like Regatta, Helly Hansen and Next - as well as some baby born toys and a couple of bags.

Am I the mad evil woman of charity shop donations...???

OP posts:
LyndorCake · 01/08/2018 10:09

Yesterday I was laughing that you tried to give the shop manager a time out (have a cup of tea and think about what you've done), today I think you're great OP!

FiveShelties · 01/08/2018 10:27

Well done OP - I find it tremendously difficult to apologise, but you have done it with such style - biscuits looked lovely too!

slithytove · 01/08/2018 18:32

golden we are lucky, we were given a big bin when we had 2 in nappies and an elderly relative living with us, and we still have it.

cheese it’s not profligacy. The stuff my grandad wants to clear out I help him with as he is pretty much housebound, plus my kids have a lot of clothes passed on to them so I again pass these on - they seem to be constantly growing. Plus DD is given loads of dresses which she just won’t wear. We are very lucky to have all these hand me downs. Finally, I buy my books out of charity shops, and it makes sense to me to pass them back to charity shops if I don’t want to hang on to them.

But you go ahead and try to find a way to stick the boot in - you have no idea where my donated items come from. Profligacy would be if I wasted them by not donating.

slithytove · 01/08/2018 18:34

And bear in mind - I do mean carrier bag as in the small cheap normal ones, not a bag for life. Carrier bag prob fits about 8 books.

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 01/08/2018 20:34

Thank you everyone... i’ve Felt a lot better about the whole situation today and i’m Very humbled by your comments

And trust me - every single time from now on i’ll Ask every shop if they are accepting donations I promise

OP posts:
manaftermidnight · 01/08/2018 20:42

If it’s such a trial for them, maybe they shouldn’t do the job. Of course they should be grateful and show that by being pleasant and polite and by saying thank you

maybe you should be grateful that they not only take the crap you don't want any more (as well as the crap they take from people as well!) as well as giving up their time and effort for charities.

manaftermidnight · 01/08/2018 20:42

well done OP.

slithytove · 01/08/2018 20:56

Man please stop calling it crap. At least some of it isn’t, as evidenced by the fact it is bought from the charity shop.

I’m sure donators on this thread at least don’t give crap. And not wanting something yourself (brand new shoes half a size too big?) doesn’t make it worthless.

slithytove · 01/08/2018 20:57

And it’s ok to want charity shop staff to be polite and say thanks while at the same time doing that too. I always say thanks.

manaftermidnight · 01/08/2018 21:04

Man please stop calling it crap. At least some of it isn’t, as evidenced by the fact it is bought from the charity shop

But it is to you, thats the point. It's stuff you no longer want, and this a way to get rid of it. It's your crap. It might be someone elses treasure, but its still your crap.

RoseWhiteTips · 01/08/2018 21:41

man after midnight

I do not donate “crap”. Just to clarify.
Maybe you do, though, so confine your comments to what you do yourself.

RoseWhiteTips · 01/08/2018 21:41

In fact I do not own any “crap”.🙄

RoseWhiteTips · 01/08/2018 21:42

But maybe you do...

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 01/08/2018 21:46

But it wasn’t my crap. It was my winter jacket that was a considered purchase for my 6 year old who lives in Aberdeen.... she has now outgrown it, but she got 2 years out of it as it’s an outdoor wear manufactured jacket with tapered seams and other words, but it’s still in perfect condition to keep another local 6 year old warm and dry in our extreme weather.

And maybe you could buy it for £5 (to cover 2 years) instead of the £60 that the makers originality priced it at (I bought it in the sale for £39).

It’s been cared for. It’s been cleaned. It’s been passed on.

OP posts:
slithytove · 01/08/2018 21:53

It’s not crap.

Just because I’ve read a book and now someone else will enjoy it, it’s not crap.

Or my 5 year old no longer fits in to his 4 year old clothes, it’s not crap.

Or brand new shoes don’t fit and I’ve not swapped them, it’s not crap.

Or my daughter hates dresses in perfect condition, its not crap.

Nor is the stuff I buy in charity shops.

There is plenty of stuff I don’t want - my personal lack of want for a thing doesn’t define it as crap. I don’t want a Harley. That wouldn’t make it crap.

Do you care how offensive you are being?

manaftermidnight · 01/08/2018 22:05

You all seem a little confused here. You ever hear the phrase one mans trash is another mans treasure.
Your crap does not mean the same as rubbish. When you don't want it anymore, when you have no use for it, when you want it out of your house, its your crap. To someone else, it might be a great find. It's still crap to you.
It's not offensive, don't be so defensive about your crap.

RoseWhiteTips · 01/08/2018 22:27

The possessive apostrophe is not crap.

RoseWhiteTips · 01/08/2018 22:28

Nor is the contraction apostrophe crap.

RoseWhiteTips · 01/08/2018 22:29

A blinkered view is crap, though.

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood · 01/08/2018 22:49

I see the threads come to end and the OP went back and apologised, but frankly I could see both sides, they are volunteering for a charity, and were very rude to a generous donor in the name of that charity.

If you had left it at that not only would you never have donated there again but you would have also passed it on locally through word of mouth resulting in less donations.

Don't worry about it further OP, your comments on your second visit were very U but so were theirs originally.

On a separate note I've worked in a charity shop and charity shop workers deal with immense cheeky fuckery on a daily basis so the biscuits will have been much appreciated

sazza76 · 01/08/2018 23:01

I collect donations to sell on for a local charity. I have been donated a mouse nest with mice in that ran all over my living room, a very dirty pair of pants and some bondage gear with stains on. This is on a tiny scale compared to charity shops so they must get some oddities!

Thespidersankles · 02/08/2018 00:08

If I had your courage, I would have done the same. I dropped in a bag of really nice clothes to a nationwide charity shop in town and was made to feel like an inconvenient nuisance. They kindly relented and allowed me to leave it in. I've never given anything there again. There's a local charity shop that I've been to since and they are only thrilled to take in what I give. I'm not asking for someone to genuflect before me and declare their undying appreciation and gratitude- just not to be made feel like an eejit giving something to them.
The staff working in charity shops, volunteers though they may be, are still the face of that charity and store. They should treat all customers, buying or donating, with courtesy.

GinPink · 02/08/2018 00:17

YANBU I hate ungrateful charity people who make you feel like a burden when you're doing something good. How ever I couldn't be arsed to go back and would have found it way to embarrassing to demand the clothes back again. I'd have just left it alone and taken future stuff to the nice ones.

manaftermidnight · 02/08/2018 00:24

you're not doing something good

Geordiegirl1988 · 02/08/2018 00:28

I don't for one second believe you said let's have a cup of tea !!!

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