To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return

[IceColdCiderPlease]

My partner of 3 years is taking his 2 children on holiday next week for 2 weeks.
The children stay with us EOW and during the holidays.
I’m not invited. It has never been discussed he just booked it.
They all arrive back on a Thursday evening and the DCs (15 & 17) will be here until the Monday.
The expectation is that I will have food shopped, made beds etc for their return.
AIBU to just leave it & let them order take away ?

Good for you

@ShumpaLumpa - his DCs said they were looking forward to coming back for home cooking - I’ve cooked every single weekend - think at least 2 hours cooking every evening- Home cooked pies etc in the winter

The DCS requested the Lasagna but I’m a cook lasagna during the week kinda a girl not accommodating a 14 & 17 yo . Their lasagna HAS to be cooked from scratch . I work 7-9 so my time is precious.

I’d rather a shop bought lasagna with lots of laughter around the table opposed to hours in the kitchen.

I’ve done that for 27 years- I’m not going back there

You are absolutely amazing OP, at 47 your time is your own, you can do what you want, when you want and clearly your STBXDP is a wanker of epic proportions

Phone not off :D

Op just one question. Do you really want to be looking after this man in his old age? Men like this don't suddenly become loving, grateful and appreciative of their partners. They become grumpier, ruder and more unbearable.

Jesus Christ. What a prize he is.

My gosh he really has no sense of what a dick he's being does he? It's all about him. I'm pissed off on your behalf! But on a plus note, he's getting a hard look at the reality of what happens when you don't respect someone. His transparency is amazing. 'Ok dear book yourself a little treat and then go back to cooking and cleaning and pretending everything is fine...'

Enjoy your holiday, drain every last glorious drop of freedom and relaxation from it, and let it fortify you for what you want to do next. If this relationship is worth rescuing, you'll need to be clear about what you're worth and the level of respect you deserve. It it's time to call it a day, a week if you time and independence will hopefully give you the confidence to know you can go it alone with no fear.

Enjoy your holiday love

I've just read this thread, good on your for going on holiday, you really don't need to put up with his shit, you can do so much better on your own without him.

@Whisky2014 -phone off to him but not off because I have children myself & run a business but definitely blocked

Any normal man would be messaging you offering you a lasagne home cooked by him upon your return. But not him. His idea of a treat for you is to give you the joy of getting back early from your break to cook a lasagne for him. What an utter dick.

Are you really going back on Saturday? Surely you should stay away until at least Monday so he has to feed his own damn children and wash his own damn pants?

@CharltonLido73 - please let me know if I owe you royalities - I just copy & pasted.

I can't take the credit as it was Casmama who suggested that line; I just agreed 100%.

Well done, OP! Sleep well tonight!

&Casmama - thank you for that line. I used it

@&Casmama ! Not &

FFS

@casmama !!

You go girl!!
He sounds absolutely ridiculous and 100% unreasonable

So pleased to hear you are having a fabulous holiday, but gosh he is a piece of work isn't he?

When you decide to get back in contact you can tell him that you don’t have any free weekends as you are off to visit your mother. I would also book a few other trips in to make yourself very busy busy busy. certainly far too busy to cook bloody lasagna.

Wow, just rtft and he is unbelievably selfish and disrespectful of you, so glad you've shaken his complacency with your holiday. I actually think it's really important now that you don't go back until at least after the weekend if that's at all possible, he needs to really feel your absence when they get back or I honestly think all this will have been for nothing (in terms of your relationship, a week in the sun never goes amiss )

You need to stay away long enough for him to have to do at least some of what you usually do, cooking for his kids, holiday washing etc. If you go back on Saturday he will just order takeaway Friday night, leave all the washing for you to come back to and a week's worth of unwinding for you will be undone in seconds. The point you are trying to make here needs hammering home or he will brush it aside, don't let him.

I'm really hoping that going home with a sense of having taken the power back will lead to you leaving him before too long but you need to keep it going long enough to be sure the balance has shifted in your favour. You've made a brilliant start, don't falter now and let him knock the wind out of your newly inflated sails

I think you’re my new hero. Enjoy your holiday x

Absolutely shamelessly place marking

He’s telling you what to cook when you get back, wtaf?!

Oh my fucking god

He just gets worse

Just get rid of the fucker, he’s bloody horrible

Out of interest.... what do your children make of him? How is he with them?

I’ve read the full thread. You are my hero.