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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return

683 replies

IceColdCiderPlease · 27/07/2018 22:18

My partner of 3 years is taking his 2 children on holiday next week for 2 weeks.
The children stay with us EOW and during the holidays.
I’m not invited. It has never been discussed he just booked it.
They all arrive back on a Thursday evening and the DCs (15 & 17) will be here until the Monday.
The expectation is that I will have food shopped, made beds etc for their return.
AIBU to just leave it & let them order take away ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
LaPufalina · 06/08/2018 20:49

He's totally panicking! Are you going to pull back a bit, OP?

QueenOfIce · 06/08/2018 20:50

I'd be turning off my phone and savouring every moment of my lovely holiday, reading, all the activities you have planned. Then when I got home I'd be packing my bags and leaving.

Your worth is not defined by him. Have a lovely holiday!

katmarie · 06/08/2018 21:01

What strikes me is he's telling you how this is going to be fixed, not listening to you about what needs to fix things. And really he's laying it all on you to do the work, pick the place etc, so that when it goes wrong, he can say well you wanted to go here, you made this choice, it's your fault it didn't make things better.

There's no genuine remorse, no 'let's talk about what's gone wrong' or 'help me to understand how I've got this wrong' he's just reacting and trying to buy off your righteous pissed off ness with a holiday a fraction of the time he's spent away with the kids, and with a fraction of the thought put into it. You're worth so much more than that.

Original poster
IceColdCiderPlease · 06/08/2018 21:12

You have all made me have a great smile.
Sometimes it feels like I’m going mad.
So many of you are right regarding the weekend away .
I often get - look somewhere up for us to go & just book it - as if ‘I’m so spontaneous let’s go away ‘ but in reality I’ve done all the work.

Sometimes it takes an incident to make you step back and see.

OP posts:
IceCreamSunday87 · 06/08/2018 21:27

Please don't arrive home the same day as them op! He needs to do his own grunt work after his own holiday. Can you not arrive back at least a day after him?
He'll be expecting you to run around doing their washing etc.
Bravo for booking your own holiday! Have a fantastic time.

Original poster
IceColdCiderPlease · 06/08/2018 21:27

Wow - he’s exceeded himself.

The DCs would love a lasagna when they get back 😂😂😂

To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return
OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 06/08/2018 21:29

👍🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

YouTheCat · 06/08/2018 21:30

So he thinks it's all fixed now and you'll step back into line and cook?

HolyMountain · 06/08/2018 21:30

Eh? Confused.

What’s the lasagne text about?

Moussemoose · 06/08/2018 21:32

Can you insert a lasagne - still in the dish - and hot.

He has not got a fucking clue has he?

fuzzywuzzy · 06/08/2018 21:34

Tell him what you expect him to cook for you on your return.

Actually your response was perfect. We’ll done!

He clearly only sees you for all you can do for him, your not a family at all in his eyes.

HolyMountain · 06/08/2018 21:37

He actually sent you a text telling you he wants you to sort out lasagne for them when they get back ?

He’s a twat.

CoraPirbright · 06/08/2018 21:37

WTF????

So he thinks he can treat you like shit, then promise a w/e away (which you have to organise) & then it's all ok? And now this demand for lasagne??

He really is thick as pig shit, isn't he?!!

Original poster
IceColdCiderPlease · 06/08/2018 21:39

The lasagna was in reference to :

Really looking forward to some home cooking over the weekend

The DCs have requested lasagna

Bearing in mind I’m a great cook but Dolmio is my friend for lasagna.’
I cooked it once for them and it has to be cooked the ‘proper ‘ way which I have no problem with except it took me all afternoon & they picked bits out so not a great risk:reward

OP posts:
magoria · 06/08/2018 21:40

That was a 'phew I think I have put her back in her box' let's start with her serving me again. Didn't last very long with how special you are did he!

Google a recipe for lasagne or send him a link to Sainsburys lasagne.

HolyMountain · 06/08/2018 21:41

Has he replied to your fuck off text?

sparklepops123 · 06/08/2018 21:42

Don't know which one of you m

sparklepops123 · 06/08/2018 21:43

That would be most stupidl

LaContessaDiPlump · 06/08/2018 21:43

I'd be tempted to text 'Just to be very clear, I will not be there when you get back as I am spending time with my friends, as stated. Cook your own damn lasagne!'

Original poster
IceColdCiderPlease · 06/08/2018 21:44

Yep

To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return
OP posts:
Homebird8 · 06/08/2018 21:45

Let me make a gesture that if you take me up on will allow me to gag you forever on the subject of any issues you may have in the relationship. Or, if you don’t take me up on it, I can accuse you of being obstructive and in the wrong because I really wanted to wave my magic wand over the relationship.

You can decide which you want to do whilst you cook my DCs a lasagne.

Your response was just right Cider

HolyMountain · 06/08/2018 21:46

He’s such a silly wankerGrinGrin

Original poster
IceColdCiderPlease · 06/08/2018 21:46

I just want to run

OP posts:
Troels · 06/08/2018 21:47

I love your answer to him telling you they want lasagna Grin

FiestaThenSiesta · 06/08/2018 21:49

The fool seriously underestimates you.

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