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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return

683 replies

IceColdCiderPlease · 27/07/2018 22:18

My partner of 3 years is taking his 2 children on holiday next week for 2 weeks.
The children stay with us EOW and during the holidays.
I’m not invited. It has never been discussed he just booked it.
They all arrive back on a Thursday evening and the DCs (15 & 17) will be here until the Monday.
The expectation is that I will have food shopped, made beds etc for their return.
AIBU to just leave it & let them order take away ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
TheLionRoars1110 · 05/08/2018 09:10

Enjoy your holiday Op! Don't let him ruin it.

endofthelinefinally · 05/08/2018 09:16

You aren't his partner, you are his skivvy.
You do all his domestic drudge work but you are not good enough to take on holiday.
You could be having a lovely independent life and he could pay a cleaner.

Groovee · 05/08/2018 09:21

Stop talking to him...

He's trying to blame you when actually he didn't want you to go and now his children are questioning why you aren't there.

Just enjoy your holiday x

MadeForThis · 05/08/2018 09:33

Love is the good and the bad. That's what makes it all worthwhile.

The reason you sail through that washing and the cleaning is because it's part of the whole package - holidays, fun days out and cosy nights in.

If you aren't allowed the whole package that's not love, it's not a relationship.

MadeForThis · 05/08/2018 09:33

Love is the good and the bad. That's what makes it all worthwhile.

The reason you sail through that washing and the cleaning is because it's part of the whole package - holidays, fun days out and cosy nights in.

If you aren't allowed the whole package that's not love, it's not a relationship.

Beaverhausen · 05/08/2018 09:36

OP why are you with this man?

IceCreamFace · 05/08/2018 09:44

So he wants you to love his kids and do all the grunt work but not get the benefit of being a real member of the family who comes in holiday.

Bekabeech · 05/08/2018 09:46

The kids sound nice, better than their father.

Hope you are having a great time. Wine

FiestaThenSiesta · 05/08/2018 09:50

“It sounds like DP has realized he screwed up based upon his children's questions so he's trying to make this your problem...the best defense is a good offense. If you take ownership of his children's "upset" then he's off the hook. F that. ”

Totally agree with ihateaparade.

rainbowstardrops · 05/08/2018 10:18

I think you need to spend some time in the sunshine and a cocktail or two deciding if you still want to be with this person.

CharltonLido73 · 05/08/2018 10:40

I'm confused. Has the DP's two-week holiday suddenly halved to one week?

Eliza9917 · 05/08/2018 11:02

Leave him when you get back op.

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 05/08/2018 11:28

He gets back am a week today & I return to the country late evening

Charlton going by the quote above from the OP on Friday he's still away. I personally would have gone away the day before they were due back but that's just me!!! Or used the time to pack up and LTB!!

Mishappening · 05/08/2018 11:31

Go and see your Mum!

CharltonLido73 · 05/08/2018 11:54

Charlton going by the quote above from the OP on Friday he's still away. I personally would have gone away the day before they were due back but that's just me!!! Or used the time to pack up and LTB!!

I agree.

OhHolyJesus · 05/08/2018 14:44

Having read your update OP my first thought was that he doesn't see you as part of the family. He says he needs time with his kids, sure but why wouldn't you be included in a holiday away and why wouldn't he see it as a benefit for them to have you there too? They clearly miss you. He didn't discuss it with you or want you with them. He could have had you there and had 1-2-1 time with each child and have the pleasure of your company too, you sound lovely and undeserving of this treatment.

I have been on solo holidays when I've been running from something and found it very lonely in the evenings. The days are full but when you get to your room reality comes crashing in.
It's hard but keep busy and give yourself time to process stuff so your sleep might be peaceful.

Time to make some changes, whatever you decide them to be. Respect to you for sorting this holiday and standing up for yourself.

What a fool he is xxx

confusedmomm · 05/08/2018 17:07

Oh don't go back the day they get back. He needs to realise you are not there waiting for him. Yes you've been away but it's not the same as the point you'd be masking if he were there, and you not. If you get what I mean. I'd have a few extra days before going back

confusedmomm · 05/08/2018 17:09

*making - not masking

Lunde · 05/08/2018 19:36

Definitely do not arrive home on the same day as them - book a night or two at a UK hotel. Otherwise you will arrive home to find them eating take-away expecting you to sort out their holiday washing etc. Let him sort out the washing and food shop

LaContessaDiPlump · 05/08/2018 19:44

I admire your balls op, and hope you're having a great time. PLEASE don't go back the same day that they do! If you're not there then it will really sink in that he's been a twat. I must admit I think he'll be too proud to admit that he got it totally wrong, and will invite you to FO. I also think this might be the best thing that could happen to you, as he sounds like a right arsehole Flowers

timeisnotaline · 05/08/2018 20:47

Please book the extra couple of days so you aren’t home when they get back. And have your ‘if you loved me you’d be happy I have had a great holiday not sat at home miserable while you are on holiday ’ ready.

McPeppaMcYumPig · 05/08/2018 20:57

He is an absolute twat isn't he ?
What an arse...
Read the whole thread...
Please ignore him from now on

whattimeislove · 05/08/2018 21:02

I agree. Can you book yourself into a nice hotel for the weekend when you get back? Nice views/food/swimming pool etc.

No point in running back as soon as you land.

Burntofferings0 · 05/08/2018 21:06

He is actually ruining your holiday . He wants to argue so he can ease his guilt

Don’t talk to him

TotHappy · 05/08/2018 21:27

Agree, don't DON'T go back the same day as him... Leave it a few days

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