Affairs at work

[HeyThatsNotMyName]

How common are affairs in the workplace?

Now in my early 30s and before the last fortnight, I thought workplace affairs was something that happened very rarely or just in the media (tv, films etc.) Now, after learning not one but four colleagues have been having affairs at work, I'm not so sure.

Was I being naive this whole time?

Yup, naïve. It is amazing what's going on at schools, work, church once you start paying attention - FAR MORE common than you think!

Do you work in a large workplace?

I used to work in a large college with loads of different departments.

Affairs were absolutely rife.

I have worked in smaller organisations and as far as I am aware, no affairs.

I had an affair at work once. It was the most exciting thing I have ever done. And yeah, people probably knew. How we got away with some of the things we did I will never know. I do know we were not the only ones.

Yeah where I work everyone seems to just be swapping with everyone else (a few married couples work in the same department)

There's probably 50 members of staff and around 20 casual staff members.

Hmmm...seems I was living in a bubble!

My old company was incredibly small (about 8 employees including the managing director) and the M.D. still managed to have 2 separate flings with members of staff.

I've only known of three affairs (and suspected one more) and that's in several workplaces over a 15-year career. I suspect I am shockingly naive though!

Its always happened you've just not noticed. I worked with one guy who was supposedly happily married but had loads of affairs without leaving his wife, he met his match with a new colleague who proceeded to get pregnant by him (she was in her early 30's not a silly young girl), it all came to a head with his wife asking for a divorce, keeping the marital home and he was left with new woman. Last time I heard they were still together but she had definitely clipped his wings.

Back in the day, I had tonnes of work affairs. I certainly wasn’t the only one.

I had a contract somewhere where a woman was engaged and having an affair with a colleague. She went off and got married and carried on the affair. Everyone knew, it was awkward as arse.

Turned out not many people blinked an eye because there were several other couples at it too.

It wasn’t the sort of workplace where anyone ever met partners or spouses and I think that made a difference.

There’s a man where I work now who got together with his current wife on a work funded trip abroad while still married. It’s maby years down the line, they have children and she’s moved on but people still talk about it.

I think a lot depends on the industry. But then maybe I’m naive about that!

When we were at school one of mums had an affair with one of the dad's, in our year.
Both were married. It all came out when she fell pregnant by affair dad, her husband had a vasectomy many years before.

It was the talk of the school for a good few years!!

Yes, happens all the time! I once worked at a company (quite small) but it was unbelievable the number of relationships/affairs. I noticed on my first day it was so blatent. The irony was someone asked me if I was seeing a certain guy because apparently that had been gossipped about - but I'd never seen anyone.

I used to be closely linked to HR in a medium sized business. I'd say 70-80% of senior male managers were having affairs. Mostly with more junior females.

Everyone knew about it. Awkward when their pregnant wives were there at the Christmas party.

I'd say that 30% of those same managers were involved in sexual harassment too, but that's a different thread perhaps

IME of sales & marketing, absolutely rife. I put it down to that personality type enjoying chasing targets (sales ones as well as opposite sex) and all being thrill junkies. Also, insecurity, leading to a desperate need for continual external validation. I was pursued by a married guy as a v green, vulnerable, grieving 19yr old. He totally used me/my grief, told me he was Separated. I met him years later:Sad, insecure & fleeced of all his £ by a girl half his age who he thought was 'the ine'.

I've only worked in two places. In one, yes, it was rife. In my current workplace I'd be very surprised if one happened.

Both workplaces male dominated. First place was in London and there was a big social scene, lots of after work drinks etc. People had affairs and also single people got together. I met DH there!

At current place no one socialises after work. It's outside London so most people drive to work.

Platonic male friend re. Marketing 'team building' day out: "10minutes out of the car park and all the married ones had their tongue down someone else's throat".

I only know of 1 at my large workplace of several thousand employees. It's quite a high profile one though involving one of the directors and one of his reports

There’s been at least 3 workplace affairs at my workplace in the last 3years. One rather morally lacking member of staff was involved in all of them though 😄

It's happened in every job I have ever had! Not just affairs of married people but even singles seem to get together a lot through work.

Rife where I work too!

Yep, common in every school I've worked in.

I remember someone who had an affair with his secretary, got a divorce from his wife and married the secretary.

He then had an affair with his new secretary, divorced again and, yes, he married the secretary.

Schools have been mentioned at least twice now. Is there something about schools in particular that make them more prevalent?

Spent the 70s and 80s nursing at a famous London teaching hospital. It was an absolute hotbed of sexual liaisons.

Schools have been mentioned at least twice now. Is there something about schools in particular that make them more prevalent
I confess I don't know why but sooooooo much bed hopping! Lots of socialising, parties, drinking and screwing even the occasional orgy if you put any faith in the rumours (and as they were backed up a bit I would believe at least once or twice).