Affairs at work

[HeyThatsNotMyName]

How common are affairs in the workplace?

Now in my early 30s and before the last fortnight, I thought workplace affairs was something that happened very rarely or just in the media (tv, films etc.) Now, after learning not one but four colleagues have been having affairs at work, I'm not so sure.

Was I being naive this whole time?

Question: if affairs are really this
common how can you trust your dp won’t have one?

well you got to have faith that they wont and if you have any cause to be suspicious, then act accordingly.

you cant live your life in a state of fear of an affair happening to you.

rebelrosie (on page 3) I know that guy you are talking about!

Ime the entire freight management industry does apsolutly bugger all apart from sext each other all day.
I have a lot of friends married to people who work in freght.

Had relationships with two 999 services staff. It is absolutely rife in all 3 by all accounts, not even discreet about it most of the time.

How could only one of your colleagues have an affair at work?

Most of my relationshipswim have been work-related since uni - housemate of a colleague, various flings in my 20s, much of my 30s with a colleague from a different office. We've got some couples at work - during recent desk moves and reorganisation, one couple requested that they sit as far as possible from each other in the office - I think they just want work/home boundaries.

It''s a large office. I don't know of any affairs, but I would be very surprised if there weren't any. I am fairly sure one man would go with me if I ever gave him the slightest hint I was interested, but he's going to have to live with the disappointment.

I agree with the poster upthread who said, given how rife it is, we don't seem well-suited to monogamy.

I once worked at one place where it was so bad that one particularly convoluted affair actually ended up in the papers. One of the women concerned ended up getting together with the bloke who she also having a second affair with.

It's incredibly rife in the police and military.

I've worked in 4 factories and it was happening all the time. Often slightly senior married men with slightly junior female women, also usually married.

My ExH had an affair with a married colleague, she's now his wife. Her ExH also worked there. They had got together at work as well when she was married to her previous DH. My ExH is actually husband number 4! They obviously deserve each other.

*female women? Sorry about that.

A little naive. Affairs at work have been happening forever. Some actually result in a couple getting married - others are already married.
Most people try and be discreet though which is why you haven't heard much about them.

I'm a teacher and have worked in several secondary schools- it's rife !

As a naive 20 year old I temped as a legal secretary in student hols. Tiny firm one partner one secretary one associate one secretary. The first summer I covered secretary 1 who was having an affair with the associate and heard all the gossip from secretary 2 who I worked with.The next summer I covered for secretary 2 and worked with secretary 1 who told me secretary 2 was shagging the partner. All married to other people except the associate. Was like a French farce!

Became a solicitor and the city firm was just as bad. Notable incident was matronly secretary phoning senior partners wife to inform her her dh shagging the temp. Frankly it was the senior men that travelled frequently that were the worst. I would never marry a successful man who voluntarily travelled with his job they were ALL shsggers

Loads of people have affairs at my place. I moved to the company where my dp worked but we wanted to keep our relationship out of the workplace so didn't tell people. I eventually heard the rumour that we were having an affair together. It was funny but we did confess in the end that, although they were right, we were sleeping together, unfortunatly for the excited few, we had actually been together 5years and lived together hahaha. Our cover lasted about a month

That said I met dh at work both were single and similar age so no drama there

Also a teacher.
It's rife in schools. I'm never entirely sure how.
My friend and colleague thinks that because people tend not to socialise with colleagues and partners together it means they can get away with it. I'm not convinced because schools are gossip centrals so it almost ends up being an open secret.

My last workplace had several hundred staff and to sa relationships were rife would be an understatement! I knew of lots and I suppose there'd be even more I hadn't a clue about.

I don't know how work isn't the no.1 place to meet people, rather than bars etc. I met my hubby at work (different place to above and he was already divorced).

I thought the workplace was a very common place to meet new partners!

And what do you mean by "affair"?

I have met and started a few long term relationships with men I met at work, we have all been single, and none have been my boss.
Everyone else seemed to be doing similar in many of my workplaces.

The worst thing was that people got to the stage of disciplinaries and the affair couple walked off into the sunset.

I'm trying to work out how that could have happened - I know it would be too outing for you to explain though.

Yep, loads in schools.
Two parents from my son’s class are definitely at it. They’re nowhere near as subtle as they think they are

But surely this doesn't count as an affair at work - unless the parents both work at the school too.

On average 1 in 3 married people cheat (which to me is an affair).
So at work either the person who works on your left or the person on your right is likely to be cheating (if its not you) and as many pp have said, you spend most of your time at work so, again statistically the cheating is likely to occur at work.
One last statistic - 80% of people (coupled or cheating) who have sex at work do it on their boss' desk!

I think it's more common in some jobs than others. Academia it's horrendous, as a PP said, academic plus younger postdoc or PhD student is absolutely standard.

I work in Pharma now. Not a lot of travelling (suspect sales team might be different) and although the younger ones pair off those relationships are all above board and there are a lot of married couples at work and I can only think of one person who has given me a hint he might be up for something which I ignored. He went on to have a very public affair with someone at work so I suspect he was dropping hints left right and centre rather than just leaving his unhappy relationship. There have been other hook ups gossiped about but certain individuals are involved the whole time and the vast majority of the men I work with seem decent and don't overstep boundaries. I do wonder historically how many younger women even felt like they had a choice when an older more powerful man pursued them at work.

Oh the police is absolutely ridiculous. I'm surprised STIs aren't announced on global emails.

Christ you'd get a shock working for the Police or Ambulance service OP

Oh the stories I could regale you with

@Jupiterscallisto I just spat my coffee out at that 😂

I work in a large organisation and many of you would have heard of it

Just yesterday me and a colleague were discussing the amount of couples who are not couples we counted 20!! Now some of these may just be very very close friends but we do know that some of them are open secret couples with partners at home