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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour's toddler waking entire street up

306 replies

Myheadhurtsintheheat · 27/07/2018 09:04

I've NC'd for this as it might be outing.

Our NDN has an 22-month-old DC who doesn't talk much but squawks like a parrot at top volume. I swear this is no exaggeration - it's the most bizarre noise. From what we can tell, toddler's parents never encourage him not to make the noise - they just let him squawk. I think they're from the "be expressive" school of thought.

My AIBU is that they're bringing him out into their back garden at 6.30am when he's up and he's squawking everyone awake, including my DC, whose room is at the back too. I get that it's very hot and really hard for kids to sleep at the moment, but isn't it incredibly selfish to inflict that noise on everyone else if you're not going to try to teach the child to moderate it when appropriate? Or am I just being a grumpy old moaner?

And if INBU, should I say something?

OP posts:
SlartiAardvark · 27/07/2018 15:31

sen isnt an excuse its a disability

I wholeheartedly agree.

I was referring to the fact that SN is trotted out as an excuse for bad behaviour on these sorts of threads with no basis.

Apologies for the confusion.

SlartiAardvark · 27/07/2018 15:34

I don't think a toddler making noise in its garden at 6.30 in this weather is inconsiderate anyway

Well, those of us that have to get up for work would like as much sleep as we can get thanks.

KateMcD451 · 27/07/2018 15:38

Oh my gosh, I could have written this Wink there's a toddler in my street from a family who have recently moved in who screeches and cries every morning, woke me up at 5 am today and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Sounds like a blinking pterodactyl! It's like living in Jurassic Park Grin but... I sympathise, it's hot, he is probably grumpy and tired, the windows are open etc. but I'll be seriously peeved if this series on past the hot weather (I'm tired and grumpy too)

BounceAndJump · 27/07/2018 15:40

My DD2 is 23 months and does a 'squark' noise, she can't say any words and doesn't understand much/anything, trust me we try to get her to be quieter but it doesn't achieve anything!
YANBU about 6.30 though, 8am earliest is acceptable.

KateMcD451 · 27/07/2018 15:40

You seriously can't edit your posts haha! That's annoying! I meant carries on Grin

howabout · 27/07/2018 15:45

DH is at his desk and working by 7.30 Slarti. He is up and about waking the whole house, although probably not the neighbours at 6.30. 3 of my 5 immediate neighbours leave for work before 7.30 and so would be up anyway. 6,30 is not early for a week day round our way.

gamerchick · 27/07/2018 15:53

I do sympathises, with what you were saying, as far as could UNDERSTAND it. You are using, far too many, abbreviations for us, relative 'Newbies' to understand. This point was made, on another 'Forum', that I belong to. Sorry but you 'lose' us, I'm aware that the more 'Established Members' understand but....we don't

Bless you. Grin

It's chucked in the deep end on here. There's a link upthread you can absorb.

formerbabe · 27/07/2018 15:59

If you see her posting on other threads you will know that to be 100% true

Very rude and not true...no need for personal attacks...I talk about all manner of mundane things on here! I'm not arguing for the sake of it. I don't think 6.30am in this heat is especially inconsiderate...I'm entitled to have a differing opinion from the majority.

Hygge · 27/07/2018 16:10

"Dear myheadhurtsintheheat,

I do sympathises, with what you were saying, as far as could UNDERSTAND it. You are using, far too many, abbreviations for us, relative 'Newbies' to understand. This point was made, on another 'Forum', that I belong to. Sorry but you 'lose' us, I'm aware that the more 'Established Members' understand but....we don't.

Another thought- have you actually spoken to the Parents, of this child? I only ask because they may NOT, believe it or not, be aware of just how Disturbing His/Her behaviour is being.

I hope you get this 'Sorted out' soon, for Everyone's sake.

AndrewT

Confused What fresh hell is this?

Or should I say What, FRESH, 'hell' is...This?

BottleOfJameson · 27/07/2018 16:18

I don't think 6.30am in this heat is especially inconsiderate...I'm entitled to have a differing opinion from the majority.

Of course you're entitled to have that opinion but you also have to accept that your opinion is the minority and it's generally the majority opinion that determines what the social etiquette is.

The reason it's inconsiderate to be making lots of noise at that time is that almost all of your neighbours will be asleep and that means lots and lots of people are being woken up early. This could be easily prevented by just keeping the child entertained inside for a few hours: Read him a book, play a game, do a puzzle, buy a little indoor trampoline (usually loads in free cycle), do some crafts, set up a little treasure hunt in your front room, play duplo. No child needs to spend every waking hour in the garden whatever the heat.

gamerchick · 27/07/2018 16:28

What fresh hell is this?

Or should I say What, FRESH, 'hell' is...This?

A man has entered the room and has spoken Grin

Willow2017 · 27/07/2018 16:36

rather than expecting someone else's toddler to adjust. In term time most 9 and 11 year old are up and about by 7ish anyway and toddlers don't have school holidays programmed in.

Its got nothing to do with the toddler, its the parents who are inconsiderate. Nobody wants to be woken at 6.30 by a screaming toddler in the garden. Its not hard to comprehend. Keep them indoors like the rest of us had to do as we actually considered our neighbours peace and quiet at stupid o clock in the morning!

Damm sure I am not going to bed early so I can get up when an inconsiderate pratt of a neighbour dictates it!

FrancisCrawford · 27/07/2018 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 27/07/2018 16:43

So you personally would not find it inconsiderate but you acknowledge most people (including OP) would find it inconsiderate?

Well obviously. However, I looked online and I read that councils will not investigate noise complaints about children playing and babies crying....why do you think that is?

Hygge · 27/07/2018 16:46

"A man has entered the room and has spoken"

Grin Thank god he did.

Nobody, here...was 'thinking' of...the NEWBIES, as it, Were, BEFORE, he...Arrived.

JacquesHammer · 27/07/2018 16:47

However, I looked online and I read that councils will not investigate noise complaints about children playing and babies crying....why do you think that is

And again. That isn’t correct. If the situation meets the criteria a council will investigate.

formerbabe · 27/07/2018 16:49

And again. That isn’t correct. If the situation meets the criteria a council will investigate

Well, if that's the case, I didn't find that information readily available online, though I'm not doubting you.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 27/07/2018 16:51

I asked my husband (police man) and he has said if the police received multiple noise complaints of children/babies then they would investigate and such an event could be logged as a noise complaint - if they are repeated offenders then the council can get involved, especially in a tenanted property, and they may receive a breach of the peace warning if the noise is deemed as excessive.

In this instance, if he were to receive the call, He would deem it excessive due to the timing as it was out of ‘sociable hours’ 7-11 and would ask them to take the child inside until 7am.

FrancisCrawford · 27/07/2018 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 27/07/2018 18:28

6:30am is way too early. Can’t really do much about noise but I can imagine it’s annoying. If the noise is kept inside the house it wouldn’t be so bad. My three year old is non verbal and she screams and grunts and roars etc not much I can do as she feels proud for making any noise really, spent the first year of her life totally mute and not by choice. She also gets very tired due to other issues, if she was repeatedly woke by a child screaming or squawking etc and was up so early, she would struggle through the day, end up sleeping early and it would be a nightmare for us. We wouldn’t cope and it would become unsafe to care for her because her last feed can go on as late as midnight and then we don’t roll into bed until around half one sometimes, she usually wakes around half seven, if we lost an hour it would be hell. I’d probably make them aware of the situation and hope they do the right thing.

delphguelph · 27/07/2018 18:30

What law???

Fuglywitch · 28/07/2018 06:15

Not on. Have a word or do a letter. I've let my kids out at 6am but they know if they make a racket, they're straight in. Eldest 2 are both special needs kids and even when non verbal, i taught shh or quietly when the occasion required. Repeated it over and over and they soon learnt, especially when followed by coming indoors if they didn't listen. Can be done, it's called persistence.

Sleepyblueocean · 28/07/2018 12:39

Could be done with your children Fuglywitch, can't be done with others.

manicmij · 28/07/2018 23:18

That time is ridiculous. Being only 22 months I take it at least one parent is out with the child too. Some nightworkers who finish at 6 am could be going to bed about 6.30 am or thereabouts. I would say something explaining you and others in the street are disturbed by the noise so early. Yes, its light and it's warm and folk are finding it hard enough to sleep without all the noise. YANBU

MsChandlerBong · 29/07/2018 01:16

Get the kids to do it back