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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour's toddler waking entire street up

306 replies

Myheadhurtsintheheat · 27/07/2018 09:04

I've NC'd for this as it might be outing.

Our NDN has an 22-month-old DC who doesn't talk much but squawks like a parrot at top volume. I swear this is no exaggeration - it's the most bizarre noise. From what we can tell, toddler's parents never encourage him not to make the noise - they just let him squawk. I think they're from the "be expressive" school of thought.

My AIBU is that they're bringing him out into their back garden at 6.30am when he's up and he's squawking everyone awake, including my DC, whose room is at the back too. I get that it's very hot and really hard for kids to sleep at the moment, but isn't it incredibly selfish to inflict that noise on everyone else if you're not going to try to teach the child to moderate it when appropriate? Or am I just being a grumpy old moaner?

And if INBU, should I say something?

OP posts:
chillpizza · 27/07/2018 12:53

Wouldn’t happen here. Someone would of been at the window shouting to shut the child the fuck up. Yes it is a lovely area I live in Grin we have a couple of houses that won’t tolerate that thing at all. The rest of us al kind of lean out our windows wondering what’s going on then someone shouts and peace is returned and we all go back to bed. 6:30am is way to early for loud children to be out playing it’s just lazy parenting because they cnba to do inside things with them.

user1473069303 · 27/07/2018 12:53

YANBU

I feel your pain. In my case it isn't during unsociable hours so I can't complain. The noise goes right through me.

gamerchick · 27/07/2018 12:55

They should just buy a bloody fan if it’s the heat!

Really? Do you have insider knowledge because I can't find any anywhere unless I want to drive 120 mile Grin

LimboLuna · 27/07/2018 12:55

I don’t think anyone’s needs trump anyone else’s. It’s just being considerate of others, and actually that’s something that should be taught early. In the same way if we come back late I tell my D.C. to be quiet getting into the house so they don’t wake people. It’s havibg awareness of others around you and being considerate. It’s no ones need over another’s, we are all equal. We just need to consider others.

Yanbu with the 6.30 I think if your brave you need to suggest a slightly later time is appropriate for the garden.

Ractify · 27/07/2018 12:56

@CheshireChat
Yes! I read that post and thought - oh, no! We "females" are doing things "wrong" again!

AudTheDeepMinded · 27/07/2018 12:56

My 3 are not allowed out until around 8-9, especially on a weekend. However, if the pissheads 2 doors along have woken me up after midnight as they return from the pub, I may occasionally not notice the kids have escaped and are making a racket under their front window for a few minutes, ahem.

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 27/07/2018 12:59

squawks like a parrot
I think they're from the "be expressive" school of thought.
You sound lovely OP Hmm do go and have a word and report back...

chillpizza · 27/07/2018 13:02

gamer my local b@m, wilko and Qd all have fans in stock Argos even have cheap air con units as well as fans in stock.

howabout · 27/07/2018 13:07

Now I want to know if the Op's 9 and 11 year old are always in the house quietly in time for the 22 month old's bedtime. As they are unable to cope with being awake at 6.30 am I suspect not. Consideration works both ways and anyhow it is working up to pouring with rain all weekend so that will sort everything.

I like the pp's suggestion of shouting out the window. If the neighbour's DC are annoying me enough for me to put on my ranty Ena Sharples then that's what I do. Otherwise I am just thankful for the latitude I am saving up in the live and let live stakes.

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2018 13:07

Formerbabe you are just like someone I know - argues for the sake of arguing!
Surely you can't possibly think it's acceptable to allow a toddler in the garden to screech at 6.30am? Surely?!!!!

If there are parents that think this is ok then that goes a long way to explaining why some children's behaviour is so entitled these days. No wonder really Confused

Mitzimaybe · 27/07/2018 13:07

YANBU. 6.30 am is ridiculous. 8 am at the earliest.

Definitely approach it along the lines of your poor children aren't getting enough sleep because they are woken so early.

JacquesHammer · 27/07/2018 13:12

Now I want to know if the Op's 9 and 11 year old are always in the house quietly in time for the 22 month old's bedtime. As they are unable to cope with being awake at 6.30 am I suspect not

I don’t see how that follows. I’m not the OP, however I have an 11 year old. Since it’s been hot she’s been staying up later and sleeping in. She is never outside in the evenings, she prefers to watch movies together.

howabout · 27/07/2018 13:19

Agreed it doesn't necessarily follow, but an alternative solution to the tired 9 and 11 year old would be for them to go to bed earlier rather than expecting someone else's toddler to adjust. In term time most 9 and 11 year old are up and about by 7ish anyway and toddlers don't have school holidays programmed in.

JacquesHammer · 27/07/2018 13:23

rather than expecting someone else's toddler to adjust

But nobody would be expecting the toddler to adjust. The toddler can have all night raves if it wants, just not outside! It’s a fairly reasonable request that noise which impacts on others doesn’t happen until a later time.

Original poster
Myheadhurtsintheheat · 27/07/2018 13:25

howabout Actually, I make sure my kids keep the noise down out the back after 7.30 because I know theirs goes to bed then! I'm also mindful of when he naps. We've been really respectful of them having a small child because I remember how frustrated I used to get when mine were woken as babies! My kids are unable to cope with being woken at 6.30 because the heat has given them sleepless nights for most of the past week! They have been staying up a bit later JacquesHammer because it's so impossibly stuffy, which is why being woken by a screaming child is really no fun for them.

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 27/07/2018 13:26

They have been staying up a bit later JacquesHammer because it's so impossibly stuffy, which is why being woken by a screaming child is really no fun for them

I know! I was pointing that out Smile

kaytee87 · 27/07/2018 13:27

The toddler doesn't have to adjust, the parents just have to keep him inside until a more reasonable time.

I have a toddler, if he's up before 6.30 I'll bring him into bed for a cuddle / story, otherwise breakfast at 7am, shower together & playing with toys in bath til 8am, I get ready & chase him round the bedroom with the hair drier for a while & then get him dressed then outside at 8.30/9.00. It's really not hard tbh. If the parents are really struggling with toddler in the house then they could take him to a park or something or for a drive.

RavenLG · 27/07/2018 13:31

Formerbabe you are just like someone I know - argues for the sake of arguing!

If you see her posting on other threads you will know that to be 100% true.

Everyone deserves the right to peaceful enjoyment of their property. That doesn't include being woken up by inconsiderate arseholes. If you think it's ok being woken up at 630am every day for no reason then bully for you. Try it for a few weeks and see how you feel but I'm sure former would find the experience cathartic and how anyone who sleeps in after her to be slovenly and beneath her

I'm definitely not suffering from heat exhaustion crankiness after only sleeping 3 hours a night because of heat at noisy neighbours

gamerchick · 27/07/2018 13:43

gamer my local b@m, wilko and Qd all have fans in stock Argos even have cheap air con units as well as fans in stock

Mine don't Sad

gamerchick · 27/07/2018 13:44

I have seen b&m do the cheaper cooling pads for dogs thought. Awesome for pillows at bedtime Grin

howabout · 27/07/2018 14:13

In that case moan away Op but I would still be inclined to bite my tongue - my 2 teens unfortunately have no escape from their little sister who gets up at 7 regardless but they are both capable of completely ignoring her and their parents.

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2018 14:34

@RavenLG ahh that makes sense then. I thought I vaguely recognised her name.
I can't stand people who argue for the sake of it and go out of their way to be antagonistic

KindergartenKop · 27/07/2018 14:58

I had a thread last weekend about neighbours waking me up late at night. Some people suggested on that thread that I was unreasonable to let my kids in the garden as early as 9am!

DrWhy · 27/07/2018 15:06

Putting him out in the garden at 6.30am to be noisy is totally unfair on the neighbours but I find the idea that you can teach your non-verbal toddler to be quiet by holding your finger to your lips utterly hilarious!
DS is 22 months, he has quite a lot of words and perfectly well knows what quiet means. He is also waking up between 5.30 and 6.30am and we are trying to teach him to staying quietly in his cot and try to sleep until the sun comes up on the gro-clock at 7. Every morning for the last 2 weeks has involved some amount of crying, wailing, whinging, shouting ‘mummy, mummy, no mummy, out mummy, daddy, daddy, out daddy, sun, sun, out out’ for up to an hour. If shhing, telling him to be quiet or putting my finger on my lips worked I’d be getting much more sleep!

CheshireChat · 27/07/2018 15:25

I know you didn't ask for advice, but he might need to go to bed a bit later in this heat and then he might sleep through, I sometimes used to tire DS out and put him to bed late to help reset him Wink