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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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My Husband has been taken into custody

285 replies

Howdyagetstokillaroo · 25/07/2018 20:08

He has broken my nose, my left cheekbone and dislocated my shoulder. My children are with my mum and the police have called social services. I am paralytic with fear that they will take my babies away. He always said they would because one day he would kill me.

OP posts:
cindersrella · 25/07/2018 21:13

Ahh thanks Lorna I have been on several things lately and they have been taken down which is really frustrating. Have a good evening 😀

Butterfly1066 · 25/07/2018 21:13

It’s standard procedure for social services to be involved
Press charges and ask for an injunction

colditz · 25/07/2018 21:14

Arum51

read the fucking room mate.

OP is IN HOSPITAL WITH 2 BROKEN FACIAL BONES AND A DISLOCATED SHOULDER, ON A FUCKING MORPHINE DRIP.

toocool4cats · 25/07/2018 21:15

Please don't worry about your DC right now as they are safe. You need lots of support now so ask for it from everybody. As for the low life who has done this to you , make up your mind that from this moment forward he is OUT of your life for good , for ever. That's how you move forward. You poor thing my heart goes out to you

Howdyagetstokillaroo · 25/07/2018 21:16

I got logged out? They want to manipulate my shoulder whilst I am awake. I am frightened. My mum has messaged my babies are sleeping. I have no one I can call. I don't want him. We haven't been sleeping in the same room for a long time. I wanted him to put his laundry away. How does that escalate to this?

OP posts:
Howdyagetstokillaroo · 25/07/2018 21:18

I feel so tired

OP posts:
notyourmummy · 25/07/2018 21:18

Take care of yourself, SS won't want to take the children away, so you just need to make sure you and they are safe from him. And it's not your fault, and we're all here for you.

colditz · 25/07/2018 21:19

because he's a fucking lunatic

You can't explain his behaviour with reasons because there is not real reason. He's a dangerous and violent man. He hit you because he wanted to.

Re your shoulder - your morphine should negate much of the pain. It won't be worse than labour and you probably didn't get morphine for that.

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 25/07/2018 21:20

You can rest soon honey. Please tell the nurses and doctors what you've been telling us.

ItsNachoCheese · 25/07/2018 21:21

I hope you arent in too much pain how thinking of you Flowers

AppleKatie · 25/07/2018 21:22

Tell the medical staff you are frightened OP and keep talking on here. Posters here can and will help x

Metoodear · 25/07/2018 21:22

I am going to say this once it’s most likey not what you want to hear

Do not take him back you will keep your childrenonly if you do not take him back

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 25/07/2018 21:27

I was you 18 months ago. I kept my babies because I didnt go anywhere near him ever again. Hardest thing I ever have done but now I feel and know it is the best thing I have ever done.

Take it hours by hour for now but it does get easier. Show social services you can protect your babies and you will be ok.

Howdyagetstokillaroo · 25/07/2018 21:30

the police are here i can hear them. my heart is pounding. the doctor just said 'not yet' what doea that mean?

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 25/07/2018 21:31

I suspect the police want to talk to you but the doctor wants to make sure you’re fit first. All these people want to help you OP- although it might not feel like that right now.

kaytee87 · 25/07/2018 21:33

You're ok op, they will just want to update you on the situation with your husband. The doctor will only let them speak to you when your pain is under control etc so that's why ' not yet'

InspectorIkmen · 25/07/2018 21:34

Yes Metoodear - several knowledgeable posters have already made that point.

Hmm
FermatsTheorem · 25/07/2018 21:34

The doctor knows you've been given morphine, and are in shock, and possibly concussed (the buzzing in your head). This means you're not in a fit state to give evidence, because your brain isn't working properly at the moment.

But please don't be frightened. The police and doctor are on your side - they just need to be sure you're up to giving a statement.

Ellie56 · 25/07/2018 21:35

The doctor is probably telling them they can't talk to you yet because you are not fit enough to talk to them.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 25/07/2018 21:35

You must be very shocked , scared and in pain

The good thing is it’s in the system now
He has violently assualted you and there is NO going back

You need social services and police advice to get a restraining order against him

You can rebuild as scary as it seems

For now don’t think but he is the criminal not you

Peronsally I think police can help in parallel

I am so sorry . Get some sleep Flowers

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 25/07/2018 21:36

And tell the doctor how scared and upset you feel . Doctors have seen this many times and will feel Desperately compassionate and want to help xx

Eloisedublin123 · 25/07/2018 21:36

Just wanted to say that you will get through this. I’m so sorry for your troubles x

Starlight345 · 25/07/2018 21:37

Op . When you speak to police tell them everything . This will help you safeguard your children.

This will also ( dependant on income) help your eligibility for legal aid again to protect the children.
Women’s aid can also be a great source of help but you also need to focus on your recovery

kissthealderman · 25/07/2018 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NynaeveSedai · 25/07/2018 21:40

Informing social services is absolutely standard when a perpetrator is arrested or a report made and there are kids in the family.

As long as you cooperate fully with the police and give a statement, as well as following every bit of safety advice they give you to the letter then social services won't be involved for long.