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Original poster

My Husband has been taken into custody

285 replies

Howdyagetstokillaroo · 25/07/2018 20:08

He has broken my nose, my left cheekbone and dislocated my shoulder. My children are with my mum and the police have called social services. I am paralytic with fear that they will take my babies away. He always said they would because one day he would kill me.

OP posts:
bellabasset · 26/07/2018 12:03

The police might not have questioned your husband until you had received medical attention last night and they knew the extent of your injuries.

They have to make a decision about the next step within a 24 hr period and they've explained they want to keep him on remand. They needed to get a statement from you.

DV is taken seriously by police and I know a separated couple who spent a night in custody after police were called when they were arguing over money. The police told them it was a warning and it was a long time before they risked meeting up without a 3rd party present.

If you are worried that people are curious then speak to staff and see if you can sit somewhere quiet. I hope you feel better having slept and are not in too much pain.

rainbowruthie · 26/07/2018 12:06

Bless you, who is looking at you, fellow patients or hospital staff?

LakieLady · 26/07/2018 12:09

Hope you're starting to feel a bit stronger and less shocked today, Howdy. Also that you have contact details for the officer in charge of the case, so that you can let him/her know when you're being discharged and where to.

When you do that, you can ask them about remand/bail conditions etc.

AppleKatie · 26/07/2018 12:10

Well done OP. I hope you can go home to your mums and see your DC very soon. By the same token take all the medical help offered for your recovery today you need it. Try not to worry to much about people looking- if they are decent people they are looking with compassion and if they aren’t who cares.

Sounds like the police consider what he did to be very serious (which it was) so try and cooperate as much as possible with them to maximise the chance of him being kept away from you for as long as possible.

mommybear1 · 26/07/2018 12:14

Thinking of you OP Thanks

justilou1 · 26/07/2018 12:14

Oh my dearest darling... this is not on you. This man needs to be in jail and you need to trust that the police want him there as much as we all do. (They really, really do!) He is a a very bad man and your kids will have seen and heard him frightening you and they will have been scared too. I am so sorry you are in such pain. I am so sorry you feel so alone. You have a whole world of women here to tell you that you can get through this one minute at a time and you will shine, darling. Without him dragging you down you will be the woman you need to be to they the mum your kids need and you will shine!!!

CocoaGin70 · 26/07/2018 12:20

Do co-operate with the Police, they are there to protect and help you. If people are looking at you they are going to be thinking "what sort of bastard did that to you", not judging you. Remember that Flowers.

Caaarrrl · 26/07/2018 12:23

I guarantee that no one in the hospital is looking at you and judging you. They will be looking at you and wondering what sort of piece of shit human could do that to another person.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 26/07/2018 12:25

Hi op, you poor love. I have been where you are and it was the worst time of my life. But the police and witness care were amazing, they supported me so much the whole way through. You can do this, you have already been so strong. Do not take this monster back no matter how much he pleads or threatens. So long as you can show SS you are protecting your children they won’t remove them. When you are discharged you must stay with your mum, do not return to the house you lived in with him. You need to prove you can protect your kids.

My heart truly goes out to you. You can do this, it’s going to be hard and scary but there are so many people who can and will support you. Let yourself be looked after Flowers

Dontknowwhatimdoing · 26/07/2018 12:37

As bella said, the police only have 24 hours that they are allowed to keep him in custody initially. They can't really interview him until they have some sort of account from you as to what happened, which is why they will have had to come to the hospital. I can understand it makes you feel self conscious, but the police need to do everything they can to make sure he is kept in custody, and you and your DC are safe.

Auntpetunia2015 · 26/07/2018 15:12

Sweetie people are looking not to judge but to make sure you’re ok. They will be shocked that your OH did this and will be wanting to help. Don’t for one minute think any of the staff or patients are judging you.

ohfourfoxache · 26/07/2018 17:53

Oh sweetheart, people are probably looking at you cos they’re concerned about you but they don’t want to disturb you or are embarrassed to come over and talk to you.

How are you feeling? Any word yet from the surgeons?

Iamclearlyamug · 26/07/2018 20:22

Any news OP? been thinking of you today

Threeminis · 26/07/2018 22:23

So have I. How did you get on with the consultant?

Original poster
Howdyagetstokillaroo · 27/07/2018 06:40

I am ok. I am home and my mum is here with me and my babies.My Husband has been bailed to his parents home and hasn't been in touch. My face doesn't need surgery thank goodness but I am seeing the GP today because paracetamol is just not cutting it with my shoulder.
I am seeing someone today about divorce proceedings and a restraining order. Everything is moving so fast. I think I am still in shock. How life can change so suddenly in the space of 48 hours.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/07/2018 06:46

I just wanted to wish you all the best. What he did was horrific. I am relieved to hear you are following through with the restraining order and do not hesitate to call the police if he tries to contact you.
Take care Flowers

jpclarke · 27/07/2018 06:49

You poor thing, I hope you are managing to get some sleep. And I hope his parents don't fall for his lies and make sure he stays well away. Good luck with the solicitor and this didn't all just happen in 48 hours you were living with a man who had been abusing you for a long time, he just took it too far this time. I hope you feel safe now and that your children are ok?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/07/2018 06:53

Does he have a bail condition not to contact you? Any breach of that and you contact the police straight away.

How do you get on with his parents? Are they decent?

LakieLady · 27/07/2018 06:55

I'm not surprised you're still in shock, you've been through something very traumatic.

The GP may be able to give you something to help you recover emotionally, as well as for the physical pain. Concentrate on doing the things you need to do to keep yourself and your DCs safe, and make the most of the support that's out there (Women's Aid, NCDV, Victim Support etc).

You're doing amazingly after what you've been through.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 27/07/2018 07:01

Hope you get some decent pain relief and good luck with the legal side of things.

Mellifera · 27/07/2018 09:50

Oh no, what an utter piece of shit he is.

Absolutely do ring 999 if he turns up at your mum‘s place.
I‘d never let him near me ever again.

You will get through this, please don‘t feel bad about the way people look at you, they are concerned and don‘t know what to say to you.

You will not lose your babies if you keep away from him.
Hope you get effective painkillers quickly.
You could ask the GP for psychological help too or contact women‘s aid and other charities who deal with domestic violence.
They are a brilliant source of information and support.
All the best for you.

ferntwist · 27/07/2018 13:56

So glad he’s out of your house and you have your mum there. Never look back

Mehaveit · 27/07/2018 14:34

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and it is absolutely not your fault. Asking someone to put the laundry away should never trigger this.

SS's priority is your children. Making sure they're safe is their focus. If you do what they ask you'll get to keep them because it shows they're your priority too.

Never let him have unsupervised contact until the Police have made their decision to prosecute or not.

bellabasset · 27/07/2018 14:51

I am pleased you don't need surgery and are now home, hope you've got your pain relief sorted. Have the locks been changed and security in place for you.? Are the little ones ok?

I am not surprised you're in shock. No one wants to be in a situation where they have to divorce their husband and father of their children but he's left you with little choice.

ohfourfoxache · 27/07/2018 14:56

Oh thank god you’re home. At least you might be a bit more comfortable than you would be on a ward.

How are the dc?

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