To think this parent was incredibly rude?

[Sparklyshoes16]

Just got back from supermarket today as have friends and their children coming over later that we haven't seen for ages.

I was in the pudding section and picked up a selection box of patisserie cakes and was looking at something else to get so everyone could have a bit of choice! A girl aged around 8 was next to me and was very excited about all the cakes, she went over to her Mother (who was stood talking to another woman about 2 meters away) and asked if she could have the Victoria fresh cream sponge, her Mother then very loudly said "No go and put it back now is that what you want to look like when you're older?" At which point I looked up and over and all three were staring at me!...the girl put the cake back with her head down and went back to stand next to the trolley and looked away.

The two women kept looking at me exchanged sly grins and then carried on their conversation...now I know that I need to lose weight and I am doing so in my own time and happy with the amount I've lost so far my goal is a 14-16 (as that's the size I didn't feel so unfit) I'm currently a size 26-28...I've never felt so embarrassed and wanted the ground to open up...I've had much worse said but this really got to me the other thing that got to me was the girls face she looked incredibly sad when her Mum said that. I really don't understand the need for some people to comment on other people's size?

AIBU to think that parents need to be more careful about what they project onto their children and the Mother was incredibly rude?...I can see this little girl having a lifetime of food issues.

How very rude of them. Clearly lack emotional intelligence and empathy and what is this woman teaching her own children? Body shaming is the low of the low.

Bloody hell I would have floored her nasty cow

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Well that's my gast well and truly flabbered.

You can lose weight, if you want to. She, on the other hand, will always be a bitch.

for you.

V nasty of those women. No excuses. Feel sorry for the little girl. Well done for not letting them get to you too much.

Disgusted for you OP

@TwinMummy1510 you're doing exactly what my sister is doing with my nieces and it's working really well for them too...eventually when I have children I will be doing the same...my nieces school has took away the focus on size/appearance and more on eating healthy nutritious meals...I've seen a huge change in middle niece (15) attitude towards food too...some girls at her school are bloody vicious and obsessed about their sizes...luckily my niece is in a friendship group what is more about healthy eating...she's always had hips, curvy bum and finally starting to accept her body...she knows she wouldn't be 'stick' skinny...now the upper school has a focus on healthy eating and less about appearance it's so much better.

When we did tough mudda seeing so many women of all different shapes and sizes, helping each other was really inspiring. She has our group photo framed on her wall and her friends love the fact we're all different shapes/sizes.

I totally agree it was rude of the woman and her friends to make the comment and exchange looks at you.
Good on you for losing weight BUT, you really don’t need cake? 🤷‍♀️

Unfortunately there are very rude and nasty people out there and they project that onto their children which keeps this rude type of people around.

Really horrible, bullying and rude. It's like some people are still in the playground! (Although I suspect playgrounds are nicer places that that these days!). Hope you enjoy your pastries and get to hang with nice people :-)

Very unkind to you. Possibly game-changing to the child. Not necessarily in a bad way. Sorry.

I'd much rather be a little bit overweight than a rude bitch pushing horrible judgements onto my daughter!
Hold your head up high, you have nothing to feel bad about!

I am so sorry, that is awful it says more about them than you. Well done onyour weight loss so far, don’t let this set you back.

The are bullies, poor little girl being brought up around nasty spiteful people.

@Ethsmum when I fancy cake I have some...yesterday I fancied some so I had some...tonight I fancied some so shared it with my husband...I also fancied spinach, feta and courgette spaghetti with Cherry tomatoes tonight so I had some.

No I don't 'need' cake but just fancied some or in this case choux bun...it's just one of those things...if I have a small portion of something I fancy then I won't crave it and then have loads of it...it works for me so I'm happy doing it that way.

Before when I would deprive myself my craving got so bad I would have loads of it and then feel really depressed after now I just have a small portion eg 2 Jaffa biscuits and I'm satisfied with that...compared to telling myself no then after a few hours think bugger it and ending up having the whole packet and then feel rubbish...horrible cycle trust me...might not work for others but works for me.

@dorisdog really enjoyed my night thanks (was last night) and my pastry was divine you can't beat M&S!

@sparklyshoes16 I''m exactly the same as you - if I deprive myself entirely of something I end up craving it and will inevitably end up stuffing my face! I think part of a healthy diet is being able to indulge in treats every now and then in a controlled and balanced way. An occasional cake isn't going to radically derail your weight loss.

The best way to lose weight is to change your diet to one you can stick to for the rest of your life and that sounds like what you're doing. Total respect to you!

@Ethsmum judgy much? In this case the op did have some cake, and good on her. As the nasty people could have had the effect that she'd eat the lot of them, she did well.
Your attitude is small minded and lacks understanding.
I'm really pleased you're finding your way op. Those who have never walked in your shoes don't understand that difficult road you travel. Those women were bitches in the supermarket, that has a shit effect on other people, regardless of losing weight or not you are not making life shit for other people.

I'm so sorry you had that experience - what an awful, nasty thing to say.

What bitches. Are you okay?

You sound nice, OP. There was no need for you (or anyone) to be subjected to such blatant nastiness by those women. I do feel sorry for that little girl.

Horrible nasty people like that will never ever be happy.... Head up girl, you have more dignity, compassion and love than either of those sly, smartarsed cunts!!! And I hate that word.. Especially about one woman from another. But a facts a fact that's what they are..... Any person who feels the need to do that to anyone is not a nice individual no matter how beautiful or thin they are 💐💐💐

Nothing more to add than all the messages of support. What a bitch.

FWIW my mum is a size 22 and I think she's the most beautiful person in the world even though I'm 31 now not 6!

@TwinMummy1510 definitely, all my changes are lifetime changes...we've changed from gold top to skimmed, white rice to brown rice, white bread to whole meal, normal juice to no added sugar...all these and much more are lifestyle changes and we're genuinely liking them it's taken time but we've not looked back...I feel much better...and that little bit more in control 😊

They wer

She was very rude but it isn't going to give her life long food issues. My father regularly did this (to be fair we spoke a forgein language so it was unlikely that anyone within the vicinity would understand so at least no feelings would be hurt. Still bloody rude though. Nonetheless I have zero food issues. I eat reasonably healthy diet (very fond of cakes and chocolates). I am a normal weight. Telling your children not to eat sweets because it could make them fat won't give them eating disorders and is actually rather good advice. YANBU to say that it is rude and rather bad parenting but there is no need to pretend that denying children cakes is going give them a mental illness just like that.