To think this parent was incredibly rude?

[Sparklyshoes16]

Just got back from supermarket today as have friends and their children coming over later that we haven't seen for ages.

I was in the pudding section and picked up a selection box of patisserie cakes and was looking at something else to get so everyone could have a bit of choice! A girl aged around 8 was next to me and was very excited about all the cakes, she went over to her Mother (who was stood talking to another woman about 2 meters away) and asked if she could have the Victoria fresh cream sponge, her Mother then very loudly said "No go and put it back now is that what you want to look like when you're older?" At which point I looked up and over and all three were staring at me!...the girl put the cake back with her head down and went back to stand next to the trolley and looked away.

The two women kept looking at me exchanged sly grins and then carried on their conversation...now I know that I need to lose weight and I am doing so in my own time and happy with the amount I've lost so far my goal is a 14-16 (as that's the size I didn't feel so unfit) I'm currently a size 26-28...I've never felt so embarrassed and wanted the ground to open up...I've had much worse said but this really got to me the other thing that got to me was the girls face she looked incredibly sad when her Mum said that. I really don't understand the need for some people to comment on other people's size?

AIBU to think that parents need to be more careful about what they project onto their children and the Mother was incredibly rude?...I can see this little girl having a lifetime of food issues.

That's bullying in my book! She's nasty and who wants to be like that!

p.s. I hope you enjoyed the cakes, sound lush!

It's was rude and bitchy to be so directly nasty.

Not sure it will.set her daughter up for a lifetime of food issues though. She would be better of saying that they're unhealthy and she doesn't want her eating that much sugar and fat.

Op if you are trying to be good and loose weight keep going but stay away from the cakes. 😁

it's easy to say after the event but I'd have responded, I'm on a diet and losing weight, you'll always be ugly cunts.
let the kid hear the word, maybe tell her to repeat it to the mum and friend
I don't care though.

I can't believe someone would be that rude, how awful for you, atleast you can lose the weight, they will always be cruel dickheads though

oh x post gilly haha

That must have been so upsetting for you OP. Some people are just vile and there will sadly always be people like that around. Hold your head high and remember you did nothing wrong, but they are rude, nasty and with no social awareness.

I am gobsmacked at some of the things I see and hear.

What a nasty, rude and hurtful thing to say and what a terrible example to set for young children.

@candyflip pretty sure OP meant that having a mother who thinks it's fair game to be cruel about fat people and associate food with warnings that terrible things might happen if she eats it will give the kid a disordered approach to food, not the fact that she wasn't allowed a doughnut.

Yes it was rude, but there is an element of truth in it.

YOU have nothing to be embarrassed about. SHE should be deeply ashamed of her feral manners. Enjoy yourself, she probably has a crappy joyless life. X

There are some astonishingly rude people around. I have a friend who is about the same size as you and it is unbelievable what some people give themselves permission to say. Silly, pathetic, judgemental little people.

That is staggering!

No of course YANBU and it pretty much goes beyond rude IME. Rude is a child doing a raspberry or someone farting, maybe queue jumping. Not being nasty to a stranger.

It's funny, isn't it, how the people who really should feel ashamed of themselves like to spread that shame to others with vile behaviour like that?

That's unbelievably rude, so sorry you had to experience it.

It's usually the insecure, unhappy people who need to pick on other people to make them feel better about themselves. Forget about it and enjoy your evening...bet she doesn't have nice friends like yours!

Disgusting behaviour. I feel sorry for the girl with a role model like that. Hope you have a lovely time with your friends.

Yes that is rude and nasty! Please don't let this get to you! Some people can only feel ok about themselves by making other people feel awful. I always think in situations like this at least I'm not that person who behaves like that.

You did very well not to lose your shot with them! I wouldn't be very chill! I also feel pretty sorry for the girl having a mother like that.

Gobsmackingly rude!

Wouldn't it be satisfying to reply "we're very alike - neither of us have ANY FUCKING MANNERS"

Sorry you had this happen to you OP Sadly there are some extremely nasty people out there and that woman’s poor children will probably grow up to be as vile and spiteful as she is.

Enjoy your evening with your lovely friends and find out more about your nieces Kindness project from school to remind you on that not everyone is horrible xx

Yes it was rude, but there is an element of truth in it.

I was waiting for a comment like this- there's always one.
There are many , many ways to become overweight, and the most popular seems to involve early shaming over food/body size and shape which creates a disordered eating pattern.

As parents we all try to moderate our children's diets, but this isn't the way to do it. A simple "that has a lot of sugar and isn't good for your teeth" is enough. Teaching a child to make spiteful comments about strangers in public is hideous.

bimbo doc so because there was an element of truth does that make it OK to just say whatever is in your head no matter how rude?

I'm so sorry that sounds heinous. Not only is that mum giving her daughter body issues but she's also teaching her to be callous towards the feelings of others rather than to strive to be empathetic.

Lets hope karma is a bitch for that mum.

You could lose weight (if you want to) but they will always be nasty.
Don't take it to heart. The poor girl though. Fancy having a mother lke that (shock)

@bimbodoc the OP knows that she's overweight, she's said so, and she's lost some weight already. This isn't about that. Some things can be true, but not nice to say.

I'm a yo-yo dieter. My weight fluctuates wildly; I lose the weight and then I put it back on again. My dress size fluctuates between sizes 12 and 18. No one has insulted me in public, thankfully for me. That must have been horrible, OP, and I'm so sorry.

The most embarrassing thing that I've had to cope with is my DDs (9 and 6) commenting on my weight. I don't mind that, but I do tell them that they shouldn't say things like that, as it's not kind. I also don't want them to think weight is the most important thing; they're already checking their bellies to make sure they're not getting bigger. And they worry about their arms looking fat in their school cardigans.

The last thing you should do with young children is make a big thing about weight. It's better to be concerned about them having a healthy and balanced diet, and to make sure they take care of their teeth. (Because it is possible to lose weight, but if you allow your teeth to rot, the consequences are far more damaging.)