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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this parent was incredibly rude?

275 replies

Sparklyshoes16 · 25/07/2018 15:20

Just got back from supermarket today as have friends and their children coming over later that we haven't seen for ages.

I was in the pudding section and picked up a selection box of patisserie cakes and was looking at something else to get so everyone could have a bit of choice! A girl aged around 8 was next to me and was very excited about all the cakes, she went over to her Mother (who was stood talking to another woman about 2 meters away) and asked if she could have the Victoria fresh cream sponge, her Mother then very loudly said "No go and put it back now is that what you want to look like when you're older?" At which point I looked up and over and all three were staring at me!...the girl put the cake back with her head down and went back to stand next to the trolley and looked away.

The two women kept looking at me exchanged sly grins and then carried on their conversation...now I know that I need to lose weight and I am doing so in my own time and happy with the amount I've lost so far my goal is a 14-16 (as that's the size I didn't feel so unfit) I'm currently a size 26-28...I've never felt so embarrassed and wanted the ground to open up...I've had much worse said but this really got to me the other thing that got to me was the girls face she looked incredibly sad when her Mum said that. I really don't understand the need for some people to comment on other people's size?

AIBU to think that parents need to be more careful about what they project onto their children and the Mother was incredibly rude?...I can see this little girl having a lifetime of food issues.

OP posts:
heavandhell · 25/07/2018 16:39

The woman was a nasty bitch and I don't know how you held your tongue I know I wouldn't of been able to. Ignore the silly bitch and know your a much better person than she is, even her own daughter was embarrassed by her what does that tell you!

Isawthelight · 25/07/2018 16:40

So so so unbelievably rudeShock.

Poor little girl having that as a motherSad.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 25/07/2018 16:42

I'm sorry that you heard that OP. I've heard similar when I've been out with my mum - not about weight but about smoking. My mum started again after 10 years of being quit and had a coughing fit while she was having a cigarette on the bench.

We had, "... and that's why mummy doesn't ever want you to smoke" as a mum passed by.

I know it's hurtful but parents will use whatever they can as 'horrible examples' for their children. People are judgemental about weight and actually, I'd say that some of those posters are on the thread, they're just being kind and supporting you.

That 'I might be fat' meme is daft and gets on my nerves. Being overweight doesn't make you anything other than... overweight, does it?

Crack on with getting healthy in your own time as you like and never mind what other people say. You'll either hear it - or you won't (because it will be behind your back) - and it will be about weight or smoking or wearing the wrong bra or wearing colours that 'don't go'. People are dicks and they like being judgemental. Sorry to say it too, but that seems to be a default for an awful lot of women.

LaBella · 25/07/2018 16:43

It was a horrible thing to hear, but size 26-28 is very big, and yes you wouldn't want you child to get that big because it would be very unhealthy, however they should have spoken to the child in private.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2018 16:45

I’m so sorry. This is appalling behaviour. I also feel very sorry for the little girl. She’s far to young to process and understand the situation. Remember she was not looking and laughing. She still has goodness in her heart. Flowers

glamglittergirl · 25/07/2018 16:47

It does not matter what size your OP this is just not acceptable. I am amazed that people think it's OK to do that.

glamglittergirl · 25/07/2018 16:48

*you are

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2018 16:48

LaBella
It was just a cheap comment and excuse not to buy the cake. The refusal to buy the cake had nothing to do with ops weight. Had op been there they still would have refused but for a different reason. Therefore what they said had nothing to do with op and everything to do with them and making themselves feel superior. This is what people with poor self esteem do - knock others down. Pathetic and childish bitchy comments.

GreenMeerkat · 25/07/2018 16:50

That's inexcusable. And putting all sorts of wrong ideas into her daughter's head.

Lizzie48 · 25/07/2018 16:51

But, @LaBella this is not the place to talk about the problems of being overweight. The OP knows that she is overweight and is doing something about it. This is about them being unkind. It's teaching your children that bullying is okay.

If the little girl isn't overweight and you're giving them a healthy balanced diet, there really is no need to talk about weight in that context. It's more important to emphasise looking after their teeth.

WyrdSisterWeatherwax · 25/07/2018 16:51

Some people are just arseholes.

Normally I'd say put it out of your mind and don't think on it again but that's not always easy to do. I had a man walk up to me in the street a few weeks ago and ask me outright if I'd always been a big fatty. Usually I'm quite argumentative/don't take shit but as my weight was already getting me down esp with this summer weather, I burst into tears and the horrible feeling was with me for days after.

Just remember you can lose weight if you choose to but they'll always be horrible, nasty people.

concretesieve · 25/07/2018 16:54

What everybody else has said. Have a great time with your friends.

JuliaSevern · 25/07/2018 16:56

Rude and bitchy and anyone who even slightly tries to justify it is likely rude and bitchy themselves

Westwing1 · 25/07/2018 16:57

Oh my God I am staggered by someone doing this. Absolutely vile women. And that poor little girl. Dear Lord! I hope you have a lovely evening with your friends Sparkly and don't dwell on these stupid, nasty pair of women.

sonsmum · 25/07/2018 17:00

They were incredibly rude.
However it is insight into what people can think when they see someone they consider overweight, buying food that is less than healthy.
People should not judge, but people do judge.
If you do want to lose weight, then do and consider that a victory over those supermarket women who may have been thinner but lack empathy or sensitivity.

perroy · 25/07/2018 17:03

What a sad woman. Does she have no idea that in her haste to be rude and nasty to you she is hurting her own daughter?

Plantlover · 25/07/2018 17:03

Wyrd sister

How did they react when you cried?!

What an awful thing to do to someone.

KittyLover91 · 25/07/2018 17:05

People are just arseholes! So pleased you didnt let the horrid cows get the better of you. Well done with what weight you've lost so far Flowers

PullMyFingerPlease · 25/07/2018 17:12

what a vile woman
Take no notice Sparklyshoes16

5000KallaxHoles · 25/07/2018 17:19

Some rude people on here who have taken a completely unsolicited change to stick the boot in as well. You'll probably find rude supermarket woman appears in a few pages as well.

LaBella · 25/07/2018 17:20

LaBella*
It was just a cheap comment and excuse not to buy the cake. The refusal to buy the cake had nothing to do with ops weight.
Maybe, but a size 26-28 is hard to miss.

LaBella this is not the place to talk about the problems of being overweight. The OP knows that she is overweight and is doing something about it. This is about them being unkind. It's teaching your children that bullying is okay.
Hmm maybe not, so when is?
My DC are taught not to comment on people appearance btw. 'Wonder' is a great] film for kids to watch.

Deshasafraisy · 25/07/2018 17:21

You can lose the weight if you choose too, she will always be an horrible prick of a woman. Ignore op. Some people are utterly disgusting, don’t let her ruin your day.

Caribbeanyesplease · 25/07/2018 17:23

Op

You know it was damn rude
You know you are seriously overweight and need to lose weight

So why post? Genuinely baffled

4GreenApples · 25/07/2018 17:31

Ouch.

Yes, this woman was very rude. There’s plenty of ways to say “no” when your DC asks for a cake without being deliberately cruel about someone else who’s standing right in front of you.

Hope you enjoy your evening with your friends Flowers

loubeylou68smellsofreindeerpoo · 25/07/2018 17:33

My weight has been up and down for years, between a 10 to 20. Currently at a 14 but I remember every vile comment I've ever received.
I'm still the same person regardless of my weight but get treated differently at different sizes.
It's time to stop judging people by their size,
Sorry you had this happen opThanks

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