to think she's trying to steal my child

[Herringb0ne]

Hiya. Single mum to DS7 here. Have been a single mum from pretty much birth.

Dad has a new partner who he has been with for a number of years. I have gone out of my way to be friendly and inclusive, we have group facebook chat for arrangements, I get her birthday and Christmas presents, etc. In return I am treated like an inconvenience.

They now have a child together, DS7s half sibling.

She has on her Instagram profile that she is a 'Happy mother of two boys!!!' and so help me god I have not been able to rest about it. She is NOT MY SONS MOTHER. But nobody else thinks this is weird. I tried to raise it with Dad and he shrugged it off and said I was being sensitive.

DS7 later told me that she has told him to call her Mummy as it is apparently 'confusing' to his half-sibling (who is not old enough to talk......) if he calls her by name. I am incensed.

AIBU? He's MY SON.

oh do belt up, Robo. yes a stepmother is a kind of mother-role but this woman has seriously overstepped the mark. If I were OP I would also be worried.

And there is no need to try and be patronising and call anyone darling is there?

For me, the tipping point would be DS disclosing that the things she's said to him has made him feel anxious about leaving her alone. No 7 year old should feel responsible for an adult. That's breathtakingly dysfunctional. You have every right to be concerned and to voice your concerns. You have the power here.

She's not his mum, you fucknut

I love you Herring.

Anyway, enough of this shit, rip this cow a new one. The swimming thing just left me speechless and I’m a stranger on the bloody internet. The phones going missing- FIVE? Fucking joke and she needs to be held accountable

As for Robofucknugget have you actually read the full thread? Or are you the said nutjob we’re all talking about?

Is Robo the stepmum?

SM would never call me darling, it's 'hun' all the way

@NLBM nah I'd have had a ranty text from Dad by now.

The antipsych meds don't excuse her behaviour from any standpoint, and this would be recognised legally if you could involve the courts. I know it's a massive step but they'll see it as the safeguarding issue that it really is, they can enforce investigation into it for you, I've been there and done that and I'm looking into it again at the moment. DD's Dad is mentally unstable when challenged, and prone to losing control which he blames on various medications :(
I really wish you all the best, you are the mum and nothing can take that away from you, no matter how much manipulation comes to play

Darling she as a mum to him whether you like it or not. Biological mum's and Step mum's are both kinds of mum's. It might upset you but if you take away their Time with him they could end up with custody. Maybe you should see if family therapy is an option

Don’t be ridiculous. How could they possibly end up with custody? Are you the stepmum? Seriously dumb post.

@RoboJesus your post actually made me shudder in second hand embarrassment for you

www.betterhelp.com might help you come to terms with your son having another mothering role in his life.

Ah but she has reinvented herself recently as a pillar of the church community, bakes for school fetes, helps the homeless, etc.

I am a scruffy leatherclad butch fucker with a mouth like a sailor and the arms to boot.

Who are they going to believe? Captain Laura Ashley over there with her Bambi eyes and pleated skirts, or the paint-covered oddball who works nights and constantly looks frantic round the edges?

I would go around there and ask for the phones back! Add stealing to her list of crimes. As for not upsetting her - challenge them every, single, time they upset you. Fuckers.

Herring I am sure you scrub up well, don't even be thinking like that. You are the mother after all, she is not.

"I tried to raise it with Dad and he shrugged it off and said I was being sensitive." Your ex is a twat.

This woman is massively overstepping the mark and sounds awful.

Please make sure your son knows not to call her mum because in the long run that really will confuse her own child.

Good luck.

Hmm she sounds nuts. With the phones could you address that at least? can you call the phone, then Pretend you’re freaked out and call your ex , sound frantic and drive over? If they ‘find’ it be all oh my god make sure he knows where it is I WAS SO SCARED? And repeat? (And if they don’t find it whip out another one - I have a spare darling don’t worry I’m sure Dad and delusionalmumofone will help you look after this one! Just in as many places as you can without totally upsetting the Apple cart establish boundaries- you do not change his name, you do not remove his contact with me. Unfortunately it seems you can only do this by shouting the loudest. She sounds batshit. If you’re genuinely worried she could do something crazy do report her to ss.

I would suggest legal advice if you can afford it. I know it seems dramatic but better prevention now than trying to fix a mess later. And convey in no uncertain terms that this behaviour to your child is unsettling him and as you are concerned about the damage, you will have to take steps to reduce contact with her (not dad) if she doesn’t stop with the game playing.

I would also move comms purely to being with your ex. Do you have someone who can be ‘on your side’ - friend, sibling, partner? It’s useful basically to have a witness to everything - to back you when there is gaslighting and tell you if you’re being over sensitive or (it sounds like!) entirely reasonable.

So sorry you’re going through this. I would want to destroy her.

Perhaps that is her plan??? To take it to court and make you look bad?

I should add I have been in therapy for years, lol. Highly recommend it Robo babe.

RoboJesus

'Well she is a mum to him.' She is not his mum. She has her own child. And while it is great to treat the children equally fairly, to attempt to confuse both children about who she is in relation to them is at best insensitive and at worst slightly batty.

I like the sound of you OP. Throw in a pair of DMs and we could be twins!! No one is fooled by baking Barbie Stepford Wife. She one tablet away from total meltdown.