To have just had a massive row about food again

[Metoodear]

Aibu

So did a huge shop a few weeks agai double what o normally buy and dh is moaning yet again their is no food

I may add he has decided that he is going on a special diet

We can not really afford anyone in the family eating differently and it’s meaning we’re going through about 9 pints of milk a week
But what ever he told me it’s because i am not meal planning effectively enough

So this week I meal plan with in a inch of my life went shopping 3 days ago

Their is no milk again
No bread no crisps
No cheese
No eggs

I have had non of these items I bought fucking 10 eggs

And I have literally got back from the shop to get my stuff for lunch for the next 3 days

So tonight’s dinners need eggs and cheese I have told dh and fucking ds 18 that I will not be returning to the shop I have been twice today as it is and I am not going to the supermarket daily to replace what their guzzling

Ds 18 is doing fuck all at the moment barr eating i refuse to spend my free time going to and from the fucking supermarket I only get two days off a week
So they can go the fucking shop themselves I told dd when I get back from work tomorrow my expectation will be he will have been to the shop

I have cooked for the kids but not for dh or ds who is currently refusing to go to the shop though he with dh are the worst offenders it’s not the eating of the food it’s the expectation that I will just keep going back and fucking forth like I have nothing else to bloody do

Oh and I also sick of ds leaving a dribble of juice in the jug so he doesn’t have to refil it

Why?

It might be a bit insensitive to say so but it's usually because women enable them....

If I were you I might:

1. meal plan
2. agree that meal plan with your husband and what it means in terms of amount of shopping
3. shop accordingly
4. if your dh and da wants any more food they get it themselves

Stop going back and forth to the shops for them. You’re helping to create the monster !!

10 eggs and 9 pints of milk does not seem excessive to me especially if there are people at home all day. I would stop buying crisps and any snacks that way you will save a lot of money. If they want snacks they can buy their own.

Great rant OP, have some I feel part of your pain, DS eats everything in sight, and the kids are always doing that annoying thing of leaving a drop of juice

OMG I feel your pain!! This sounds exactly like my house! Have an argument with Dhabi every week after having been shopping. A weekly shop only now lasts 4 days. I am sick of shopping. Dhabi wants eggs, tuna, milk and a whole chicken everyday for protein (he is a fitness fanatic) BWTAF! I am not cooking separate meals for everyone, my kitchen is not a cafe! Drives me your he wall. Don't my dhead that if he wants specifiction shopping then he needs to do it himself

Stop shopping and let them plan and shop?

Get a sharpie, and write the dates on everything you expect it to last until. Also, anything you want to use/save/planned to use, write your name on it.

New rule, anyone (ds18/dh) finishing foods before their dates, can go to the shop and replace it themselves or go without.

Please let your husband do the meal plans and shopping for a while. It’s the only way.

Back in the day of having exh and kids at home I used to arrive home from work to find no milk in the house ..... NO fucking milk, instead of ringing me to collect it on my way home - no one would bother. From 2007 till now I freeze semi slimmed milk so I always can make sure there is enough for a cuppa. Also freeze cheese & so many other things

Might help if you don't swear so much.

Sit down with DH and meal plan for the week. Order it on line. If you have a garage, or room you can lock, put all the crap (biscuits,crisps, breakfast cereals etc) in a locked box in a locked room. 2 locks see, you and hubby have keys to the room, ONLY you has key to the crap box.
Keep in the accessible cupboards/fridges etc all the food that needs preparation so that it can't be grab and go. Or that they will have to eat healthy foods such as salads etc. and/or cook a proper item.
DO NOT order ready made Pizzas etc.
You and the little kids can cook from scratch and set an example to the others.
If you run out of ESSENTIALS then DH give the money to DS 18 to go and buy it during the day and he has to produce the goods and the receipt.
It will be hard to start with but you will get there.
Give out food from the crap box into the hand that is going to eat it.

letsdolunch Not wanting to get in the way of all the arguing and name calling, but I have a question about freezing milk.

How do you defrost it? I sometimes have milk to freeze because in hour house its DP that uses all the milk and he works away quite a lot, so when it's just me I use a pint or two a week. But I still sometimes buy 4 pint cartons, because it's massively cheaper than buying smaller amounts, but have too much so freeze some, which is fine.

I've been defrosting it by letting it sit on the draining board, but it takes overnight and then some. No good at all when you come home wanting a cuppa and all the milk is in the freezer. I have thought of microwaving it, but I thought that might make it go bad.

Back to the point of the thread. I understand the OPs frustration. There seems to be a lot of men and teen boys who have absolutely no appreciation as to how much it costs to feed a family, or the time and effort that goes into acquiring and preparing food, other than they categorically refuse to put that effort in themselves and expect ready to eat, palatable food to just appear in front of them whenever they want.

If I was the OP, I would hand the whole shebang over to them, except that they are likely to spectualarly fail at the task and end up spending far more than is affordable and/or drastically reduce the quality of food consumed.

I agree with pps. You need to stop enabling your grown up son and husband and start prioritising your other children and yourself. They don’t have milk and eggs. Tough. Your ds should be shopping for these items for a start. It’s ridiculous to expect you to do it all for them. Talk about a thankless task.

Hi Barbara, I leave it on the drainer overnight to defrost. Usually if there is a quarter left of a 4 pinter I will get another out.

Is online shopping possible?

Yes, shift the onus of replacing milk and eggs to your DH and DS - and don’t buy snacks

OP l remember the voucher thread , you poor thing , have some and just for you , bloody kids honestly they make you despair sometimes they really do . This will pass very soon my dear, don't worry he will grow up to be a lovely young man l am sure, just got to bear with this crap for a few years till he grows up.

Had a friend’s son staying a while ago who was body training. Ate me out of house and home. Came back to what I thought was nice chicken dinner. He’d wolfed the lot. And all the eggs, only ate the whites, twat. Told him he had to go.

Oh, your poor thing. Sounds totally infuriating. I know it's easy to say from afar, but why are they not going out themselves and getting the 'extras?' (I presume it's about high protein diet?).

Tell them to go and buy their own snacks and extra milk etc.

Or buy them a big bag of red lentils full of protein and dirt cheap! That'll shut them up.

Your DH and DS are both being selfish. I remember having step children that did nothing all day whilst I worked and ate and drank me out of house and home. In fact, they invited their friends around to help!

In the end I stockpiled UHT milk (although they didn't like it as much so used less) and bought massive bags of dried pasta, cheap passata, brown bread, cheap jam etc. I stopped buying snacks like crisps and biscuits after they went through 12 packets of crisps and one of those multipack biscuit barrel packs of biscuits in one day. You can buy fruit like apples fairly cheaply too. If food is less appealing or preparation is required, it's amazing how much longer it lasts.

You poor thing. Make DP do his own shopping and make DS get off his a**e and do some exercise by doing his own shopping as well.
Otherwise, feign a serious illness, lie down in a darkened room (or go to stay with a friend) and leave them to look after themselves for a couple of weeks. If you take the option of staying with a friend, you could still go to work and they would not know. They are both putting on you to a totally unfair degree and it is time you looked after yourself. Who pays for all this food?

Involve them in meal planning highlighting what will be needed only for the meals and adding in extra for son's snacking if need be. All should be made aware that what is being bought is accounted for. If anyone wants extra they should buy it. Can understand how you feel especially in this hot weather running back and forth to shops.

Re eggs, dh and I eat at least 12 a week between us. We have a boiled egg for breakfast 6 days a week. We quite often buy an extra six for baking , omelettes or Yorkshire pudding. I remember when our 3 lads were teens all really skinny and never stopped eating.

You defrost milk by running it under the hot tap to start it off. I used to do this now I can't be arsed I buy uht milk I love it.

Op I feel your pain my exh did this

Could someone please link or not pm me the link to the voucher thread mentioned? I’m really sorry OP they are treating you like a skivvy, it reminds me of my ex. I’d buy all the food, he’d eat it,then complain at me if I dared to cook myself or baby daughter anything I’d paid for xx