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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just had a massive row about food again

181 replies

Metoodear · 23/07/2018 18:19

Aibu

So did a huge shop a few weeks agai double what o normally buy and dh is moaning yet again their is no food

I may add he has decided that he is going on a special diet

We can not really afford anyone in the family eating differently and it’s meaning we’re going through about 9 pints of milk a week
But what ever he told me it’s because i am not meal planning effectively enough

So this week I meal plan with in a inch of my life went shopping 3 days ago

Their is no milk again
No bread no crisps
No cheese
No eggs

I have had non of these items I bought fucking 10 eggs

And I have literally got back from the shop to get my stuff for lunch for the next 3 days

So tonight’s dinners need eggs and cheese I have told dh and fucking ds 18 that I will not be returning to the shop I have been twice today as it is and I am not going to the supermarket daily to replace what their guzzling

Ds 18 is doing fuck all at the moment barr eating i refuse to spend my free time going to and from the fucking supermarket I only get two days off a week
So they can go the fucking shop themselves I told dd when I get back from work tomorrow my expectation will be he will have been to the shop

I have cooked for the kids but not for dh or ds who is currently refusing to go to the shop though he with dh are the worst offenders it’s not the eating of the food it’s the expectation that I will just keep going back and fucking forth like I have nothing else to bloody do

Oh and I also sick of ds leaving a dribble of juice in the jug so he doesn’t have to refil it

OP posts:
Ryder63 · 23/07/2018 20:12

This made me sad. Make those two ADULTS get their own food. You sound at the end of your tether and no wonder! as pps have said, you should not be their skivvy any longer.

DoryNow · 23/07/2018 20:13

Apologies just seen you have youngsters too- slightly different.

But taking turns still stands if DS is at home all day he should be cooking at least one meal a week for the family as should DH -good practice.

Mousefunky · 23/07/2018 20:14

Your DS should be working and contributing to the family purse or at least buying his own food...

Original poster
Metoodear · 23/07/2018 20:16

Buildabear

10 eggs isn’t a lot confused and we go through 6 pints a day so seems reasonable usage

he was giving us keep however this new job he not really getting any shiftsand he’s waiting for his references for his new job so he can start so we’re in summer limbo

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 23/07/2018 20:21

Just go on strike.
Tell the pair of them they can plan the meals, and if you're feeling particularly arsey about it (which I suspect you are! Grin) tell them they can do the bloody cooking too!
While you're at it, tell them they will get one chance a week to put their food order in and then that's it. Tough cookies.
Start ordering online as well, and make them help to put away the delivery.
They both need to step up or shut up.

huggybear · 23/07/2018 20:29

Six pints of milk a day! Are you the Radford family?

adaline · 23/07/2018 20:31

I can easily see how people get through six pints of milk.

If everyone has cereal for breakfast and the kids drink milk with meals or before bed, plus in teas/coffees and a protein shake a day and that's quite a considerable amount gone.

Cheerbear23 · 23/07/2018 20:36

If your DS is off work he should be walking to & from shop for his supplies.
I’ve had a similar row tonight OP- a 2ltr bottle of coke has been drunk in a day and all Jaffa cakes troughed without me having a single bit 😡. I only bought them yesterday.
I’m not replacing them for the greedy teenagers.

ravenmum · 23/07/2018 20:53

Do you have to do the food planning? Can't he do it if he's so great at it?

lapenguin · 23/07/2018 20:53

Once it's gone it's gone!
DS can go to the shops himself. Give him a list and as close to exact amount as you can. See the receipt and make sure you get exact change. Give him responsibility!
Keep all 'unhealthy' snack foods seperate and say one a day. If they eat more then tough they can wait until next week. See about getting everyone their own little box for snacks so that one person doesn't eat all the Crisps. If they steal their siblings snacks then they get none the next time. Act like a spoilt child then get treated like one, adult or not.

NeeChee · 23/07/2018 20:55

I get fed up of doing the meal planning at times. I end up cycling through the same old tried and tested meals, with DSS10 being a fussy eater. I end up feeling like it's my fault when the kid just isn't in the mood for eating what I've chosen that night.
I should add he does get a choice probably once a week. I like to buy for the week, and its impossible to predict what he's going to want, and too late to wait and ask him after school.

Original poster
Metoodear · 23/07/2018 20:57

lapenguin

It’s not the little kids we already to snack box’s it’s my ds18 just fucking eating and eating during the day while everyone else is grafting

OP posts:
Thesearepearls · 23/07/2018 21:03

6 pints of milk a day is not reasonable usage for 3 adults

6 pints of milk a week is probably overkill. It's 6 pints of milk for 4 adults here

WTF are you doing with all this milk? Bathing in it?

lapenguin · 23/07/2018 21:03

Does he cook his own meals during the day or just eat whatever is readily available?
I think the only solution is to lock everything away and for food in fridge or freezer put it in little boxes in there and tell him they are off limits
If he eats something he was told not to then he has to pay for it and go to the shop to replace it, regardless of how little he was paid. If he hasn't done any shifts and has no money then he can work it off with you or go without something
He needs to learn he can't just eat whatever he wants and how to ration food

Thesearepearls · 23/07/2018 21:05

If you are eating cereal - just don't. Cereals are nonsense invented by food manufacturers in order to make profit out of nothing. Have an egg instead.

NeeChee · 23/07/2018 21:07

We go through a 4 pinter of milk every 1-2 days. DP and DSS will drink pints of the stuff at once. I rarely touch it, I only have milk on cereal at the weekend, and I'm lucky if there's any left for me :(

Melliegrantfirstlady · 23/07/2018 21:09

Shocking! Send him to the gp sounds like disordered eating

What does he say when you confront him? Is he embarrassed

Coyoacan · 23/07/2018 21:11

Sorry, I know it's not the point, but if your son is already obese, wouldn't it be better to cut out biscuits and crisps from the food shop? Obesity could seriously shorten his life.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 23/07/2018 22:42

Thinking back to your other thread, he was very lucky to be allowed to resign and not have to face legal consequences. Is it possible that he is ashamed and depressed after all that?
I think I'd need to rule out depression as a cause for his massive overeating first, because my response to that would be considerably less harsh than if he was just being an arse.

Leeds2 · 23/07/2018 22:48

Does your DH agree that DS is eating too much? If so, would he not support you in buying less crap for general household useage?

Bluntness100 · 23/07/2018 22:50

I'm sorry I'm slightly confused, are you saying your son is obese? I think you are. As such you know there is likely a food related issue there and his ability to control his intake. Possibly made worse if he's at home.

Is there another way you can support him rather than be angry about what he's consuming, it's unlikely it's malicious more he can't control himself.

JustVent · 23/07/2018 22:56

What has your DS got to say when you talk to him about it?
His eating is inconsiderate, he can’t contribute at the moment so he needs to curb his eating habits so you don’t all suffer.
It’s not fair.

It’s not healthy either but one step at a time.

iamyourequal · 23/07/2018 22:58

Coyoacan

Sorry, I know it's not the point, but if your son is already obese, wouldn't it be better to cut out biscuits and crisps from the food shop? Obesity could seriously shorten his life.

Come on Coyoacan . Not really terrifically sensitive advice from you for an OP who is already stressed out of her box - your words of wisdom must be a great comfort to her.

nokidshere · 23/07/2018 23:05

Bloody hell
30 eggs!
Ive got my own chooks and we dont eat that many

That's only 1.5 a day each for 4 of us. Obviously we don't eat 1.5 eggs a day though. But cooked breakfasts on both weekend days, hard boiled eggs in lunchboxes or salads, baking, sometimes pancakes...... I can think of hundreds of ways to eat 1.5 eggs a day each Grin on busy baking weeks I buy two trays of 30 Wink

madcatladyforever · 23/07/2018 23:11

Once again feeling super happy i live alone or else there would be an accumulation of bodies under the patio.

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