School Holiday Childcare Stress

[Rebecca4567]

Hi so I'm just after some advice.

So there is a school Mums what's app group.

One Mum posted info about a playcentre holiday pass and suggested some of us might want to purchase these as you can basically get in anytime you want during the school holidays. (Depending on how busy it is maximum play might be 2 hours).

A couple mums posted that it would be a good idea if the mums working that day dropped their kid/s off at the playcentre while the mums that were off watched the kids. Their ages range from approx 6 months to 8 years.

I wasn't sure what we our plans were for the holidays so didn't reply.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days.

Plus I have my niece and nephews twice a week so I would need to pay for them to get in both days plus lunch. Not that I mind of course it would be entertainment for them guess. I just mean I'll have 4 of my own to supervise plus god knows how many more.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work (a couple of the other SAHM's are away that week). BTW I am looking for work I'm not at home now through choice.

I know a couple of the kids in both my daughters classes but some younger siblings won't have a clue who I am. If I see them they're always in the pram. Some aren't even on solids. I've not changed a nappy in years. Some mums are friends of mine but some I just say hi too.

I just think this is a disaster. What if the kids get hurt. I'm having major anxiety.

Mums have replied saying their children are looking forward to it now and they will be upset if they cannot go.

Please give me honest answers. Am I being a spoil sport? Would you do it to help the mums out?

Thanks.

Erm no! I’m a childminder, I get paid, no bloody way would I do it for free.

Really?

"I'm afraid that doesn't work for me. See you at some point in the summer."

Don't engage.

I am sorry that does not work for me. No further discussion.

Tell them to piss off. No way would I entertain that - these people are not your friends and you owe them nothing

They can't be serious surely?

Fuck that shit. The absolute cheeky fuckers. Just say no. Not I can't do all 5 days, not I am unsure of this or that. Just a plain no that doesn't work for me. You didn't agree to this and you definitely don't need to do it. And no feeling guilty either, they have the hides of rhinos and you need to grow one too!

Of course it's not reasonable.

Another ‘is this for real?’ type comment.

I’d reply with ‘sorry, we’re busy with our own plans.’ I’m also a SAHM and I would never in a million years watch a bunch of kids at a play centre, some of whom I don’t know well, simply because I’m ‘the only one who doesn’t work.’

No you cannot do this, its totally irresponsible of the parents to consider leaving just 1 person with all those children, especially when their younger children don't know you. Just say you did not realise how many children you would have on your own and you are also looking after other family members children - its too much! Also what are you going to do if they turn around and say they are so full you can only do 2 hours today - you will be stuck with all those kids outside whilst parents are at work!

“Sorry, I already have four to care for. I won't be available. Have a good summer.”

And don’t give it another thought.

Oh my god, you can’t be responsible for goodness knows how many children! That’s ridiculous. I cannot imagine leaving my DCs with someone that casually either. What happens if someone hurts themselves? It would be like playground duty at school but for three hours at a time. Changing someone else’s kids nappy? Errrr no thanks. Unless it’s a nephew or niece or best friend of mine, no thanks!

Wow, these women are CFs. Who gives a shit if their kids are excited? They shouldn't have just assumed you would provide a week of free childcare for them.

Get this in hand now. Reply firmly saying 'that's not going to work for me.' That's all you need to say. If they keep on with the guilt trip just blithely say 'I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else who can help' and ignore. Mute the conversation if you have to.

What??? This is really weird!!!

So are they telling you that you will be spending all day everyday of your summer stuck in soft play watching other people's kids?!

'Hi everyone - big misunderstanding here - I don't know what my plans are so can't say when I'll be free. Hope to see you soon."

Just don’t show up! They can’t just leave their kids there. They shouldn’t assume it works for everyone. All week.

Who the hell drops their 6 month old off with some random mum who has half a dozen other kids to look after at the same time

Omg where do they make these women who like to volunteer other people to do free childcare? That's outrageous. Say no, op, if for no other reason than its asking for trouble. There's a reason childcare providers are qualified, registered and charge for their services.

Seriously just tell them to fuck off. What you do during the school holidays isn't their decision. Respond saying that you never agreed to this, that your name has been put down without your agreement and that you are unavailable.

If they keep badgering you, ask them if they are willing to look after your children every Saturday during the course of the summer holidays as you want to go out.

Why would they we dropping off babies and toddlers ? Surely if they worked they would already have childcare sorted?

I don't even like taking my own kids to these places.

I do have my daughters friends over after school to play sometimes but only one each and to be honest I'm clock watching all the time. Nothing wrong with the kids it's my own issues.

How can I word it? We have two days left of school so I will see them later on and tomorrow. Husband took them this morning. 3 of them I Class as friends have valid excuses which the rest of the group know about. I do not.

This seems almost unbelievable 🤨
So many reasons it wouldn't work. How are you going to look after children for a full working day if you can only play for two hours? How will you keep an eye on the others if you are changing a nappy etc? Why would people be happy to let someone they don't know what their children? Who usually looks after the kids who aren't old enough for school? Why wouldn't they still be going to their usual nursery/childcare arrangement?

They just sound rude and controlling

Just say no, you already have plans.

Also sorry to drip feed. I wouldn't be looking after them all by myself. I just meant I'm
the only one they've put down to do every day. Think their are 3 on some days and 4/5 on others x

What on earth???

That is absolutely unbelievable. It's not you OP it's them.. don't engage with this at all. You dont even need any childcare yourself!

There's nothing in this for you...it's madness. Message back saying that as you don't work, you assumed you weren't included in this reciprocal arrangement and that you are unable to do it anyway as you have other commitments. Then, as another poster said, don't give it a moment's thought.