School Holiday Childcare Stress

[Rebecca4567]

Hi so I'm just after some advice.

So there is a school Mums what's app group.

One Mum posted info about a playcentre holiday pass and suggested some of us might want to purchase these as you can basically get in anytime you want during the school holidays. (Depending on how busy it is maximum play might be 2 hours).

A couple mums posted that it would be a good idea if the mums working that day dropped their kid/s off at the playcentre while the mums that were off watched the kids. Their ages range from approx 6 months to 8 years.

I wasn't sure what we our plans were for the holidays so didn't reply.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days.

Plus I have my niece and nephews twice a week so I would need to pay for them to get in both days plus lunch. Not that I mind of course it would be entertainment for them guess. I just mean I'll have 4 of my own to supervise plus god knows how many more.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work (a couple of the other SAHM's are away that week). BTW I am looking for work I'm not at home now through choice.

I know a couple of the kids in both my daughters classes but some younger siblings won't have a clue who I am. If I see them they're always in the pram. Some aren't even on solids. I've not changed a nappy in years. Some mums are friends of mine but some I just say hi too.

I just think this is a disaster. What if the kids get hurt. I'm having major anxiety.

Mums have replied saying their children are looking forward to it now and they will be upset if they cannot go.

Please give me honest answers. Am I being a spoil sport? Would you do it to help the mums out?

Thanks.

Wow no way would I assume someone else would have my child without asking and also why would you want your child to be looked after by a stranger.Weird!!

You genuinely don't need to apologise to these people. They should be saying sorry to you for making such a daft assumption.

Usually these arrangements are recriprocal, ie, you would get something out of it? Do you think they have misunderstood that by you doing it everyday, noone would be looking after your kids? And you hadn't replied to the message, so hadn't put your hand up for this. Think I would have replied...sorry, there must be some mistake, I didn't reply to the message, and don't want to take part.

Don't make excuses or give explanations. Reiterate to them that you never at any point agreed to this or even got involved with the discussion about it. And that you absolutely will not be tied to other people's children during your child's summer holiday.

Cheeky fuckers.

OP please STOP feeling apologetic or guilty. You have absolutely no reason to. I wonder if you are seen as a bit of a walkover to this group?

Christ with mum friends like these ones who needs enemies!

They'd have got a huge feck off, you are not telling me how I spend my days.

In answer to your original 'would you do it to help other mums out?'
Yes, possibly, if they asked me nicely, if I wanted to go anyway, and if they reciprocated in some way. Not tit for tat, just not all one way.

Ha ha! The absolute cheeky bastards. Just don't turn up.

I'd be staying well clear of this arrangement. What would happen if one of the kids got hurt or, god forbid, went missing? I'm wondering what your position would be legally? This bunch sound like they wouldn't give a second thought before dragging you to court for negligence.

Is there a Rota for the whole holidays or "just" one week? Surely those that need childcare need it for most of the 6 weeks?

WTF?? They are leaving their kids at the council play scheme with people they barely know? I wouldn't let someone that irresponsible anywhere near my child!

Your reply is fine . Give it no more thought. The only reason I took my dc to soft play was so he could play and I could catch up with friend.

There are so many holes in this . What if you are kicked out after 2 hours , who is paying for meals . ( once in a while fine but I wouldn’t pay soft play prices for lunch daily)

As a childminder I took 3 children to the park today , had a picnic lunch came home and they are now asleep . Cost me fuel and probably everyone’s lunch cost me less than one meal in soft play. So despite been paid I have spent less than you would one day in soft play.

Regardless. You have made it clear it’s not happening the cost , and how they work it out is there problem

So they want you to pay for the pleasure of looking after their little darlings. Yes, I expect the working mums did think it a very good idea. Free childcare - rather like an extension of school really. What if one of the children gets hurt or lost? This is a lawsuit waiting to happen even if you were allowed to stay all day in the soft play centre. Imagine if one of the children ended up breaking a limb or worse. With this level of entitlement the parents would certainly be prepared to take you to court.

If they keep on badgering, I’d tell them “Sorry no, this is not legal or safe and I’m not getting involved.”

That's the weirdest idea ever - I could maybe imagine if you and your children were all very close friends asking everyone to help out with the children whose parents work. Assuming that just because your kids go to the same school you'll be willing to watch kids of all ages including babies at a godforsaken soft play centre all week is insane. Surely you would have been thinking about holiday childcare before now and where does the baby usually go (since it's obviously not at school)?

'We've made plans for the holidays. Have a great summer.'

They are being off the scale cheeky with this and the plan makes no sense whatsoever.

That’s a good point. What are the kids going to be eating and drinking all day? Our soft play won’t allow water bottles, let alone picnics. Luckily, it’s not too expensive for a snack and a cuppa, but feeding kids all day is going to be really costly.

Gosh op don't feel guilty they are being so unreasonable!

Agree with everyone else. They're cheeky fuckers op.

What do these families do for childcare the rest of the time?

You’re wise to stay well clear of it. Can’t imagine that the soft play management would be best pleased either.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days. So not only are you expected to sit in a hot indoor play Centre, you also expected to cover lunches. Let me guess how often parents will "forget" lunch and a drink and you will be expected to buy them something.

Tell them NO you don't have to give a reason, just no.

As an aside does the play centre know they are being offered as an unofficial child care place, I would imagine this would be not allowed, as well as insurance issues should an accident happen. I would be ringing them and asking if they are aware this is happening.

What a bunch of absolute chancers. They are off out earning money all day while you take full responsibility for their kids for the princely sum of zero quid.

Have they come back to your message at all OP?

Do try not to worry about pick up - they are proper cheeky bastards for even suggesting this stupid idea, never mind putting your name on the list without your confirming you are available.

Don't feel guilty about this! They are being massive CF's of the highest order! And I wouldn't have a problem telling them so.....
Who volunteers someone to look after a group of unknown kids for an entire summer!
And who would entertain leaving their kids with an unknown!!! Shocking!

Op you are not In the wrong. Absolute cheeky fuckers.

I do have a little group of friends that I do this with, and have done since they were newborns, but it's all very reciprocal.
So, if 3 mums in group, 2 mums look after 3 kids, 1 mum has a break to work/have time on their own. We all take turns having the break/chance to work.