School Holiday Childcare Stress

[Rebecca4567]

Hi so I'm just after some advice.

So there is a school Mums what's app group.

One Mum posted info about a playcentre holiday pass and suggested some of us might want to purchase these as you can basically get in anytime you want during the school holidays. (Depending on how busy it is maximum play might be 2 hours).

A couple mums posted that it would be a good idea if the mums working that day dropped their kid/s off at the playcentre while the mums that were off watched the kids. Their ages range from approx 6 months to 8 years.

I wasn't sure what we our plans were for the holidays so didn't reply.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days.

Plus I have my niece and nephews twice a week so I would need to pay for them to get in both days plus lunch. Not that I mind of course it would be entertainment for them guess. I just mean I'll have 4 of my own to supervise plus god knows how many more.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work (a couple of the other SAHM's are away that week). BTW I am looking for work I'm not at home now through choice.

I know a couple of the kids in both my daughters classes but some younger siblings won't have a clue who I am. If I see them they're always in the pram. Some aren't even on solids. I've not changed a nappy in years. Some mums are friends of mine but some I just say hi too.

I just think this is a disaster. What if the kids get hurt. I'm having major anxiety.

Mums have replied saying their children are looking forward to it now and they will be upset if they cannot go.

Please give me honest answers. Am I being a spoil sport? Would you do it to help the mums out?

Thanks.

Hi. It never crossed my mind that it would be illegal. How many kids can you look after at a time free of charge? I've never heard of this.

I saw a close friend of the rota mum today. You have to walk down a narrow path to school and we were walking in opposite directions and we both had people behind us luckily. She said hi though. On the way back home I saw 3 of them on the corner and I walked really slowly pretending to look at my phone and luckily they had gone. Thank god I only have one school run left.

I just want the week commencing 20 August to come and go. Dd2 has a birthday party on 9 August I'm dreading that. She has been on about it all week so i can't not let her go x

Oh dear - you sound so anxious about all this! Please please try to hold on to the fact that you have done absolutely nothing wrong and this is weapons-grade cheeky fuckery!! How bloody dare they just bung you into the rota for any days at all, let alone the whole damn week!! Soft play is utter hell!!

If anyone pushes it, I would respond “you will note that I did not respond on What’s app regarding this plan as I knew that I would not be able to participate. I have other plans and also family members kids that I am looking after. Sorry if there has been some misunderstanding and my name has been put for all days on the rota but it simply isnt possible this summer”. Polite but to the point.

I wouldn't even take this seriously. Give up an entire week of your DC's summer holidays with you to look after their DC without you even offering? I would just say 'I can't do this' with no excuses. Excuses can be argued with. If you are feeling brave say 'I'm not doing this'. There is nothing they can say to that. I wouldn't worry about them falling out with you. Why would you want to be friends with people like that?

Please stop worrying over this, and we’ll dinr for getting yourself out of it!
I can’t see it working tbh, my local soft play has a time limit if 2 hrs. I’m sure they will cotton on to what’s happening and the arrangements will come crashing down.

As others have said please try and stop worrying about this. I’m sure many of them will be prompted by you saying no to rethink. Seriously even if you had been prepared to do some of it no-one can think it’s okay for you to have to do 5 days in a row. Kids get bored, hot and sticky after a few hours....and that’s if they love soft play. Try not to be funny with anyone because you are worried unless they are funny first otherwise you’ll have created the problem according to whoever has the beef. It was an idea. Didn’t work for you. Please be gentle on yourself.

Stop worrying about this. The other mums can sort this out among themselves if they want to do reciprocal care for each other. You didn't reply as you weren't available.

My guess is that the rota will collapse after a few days when people realise they don't want to spend the entire summer tied to the play centre.

Definitely don't worry or think anymore of it. Totally outrageous behaviour by those mums. Just say you aren't doing it!

You should stay right away from this! It sounds as though there is no insurance, no safeguarding policy, no CRB checks, etc etc. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

This just sounds totally bonkers!! Surely they have childcare for the babies etc if they all work?

The odd play date yes but not this.

However you do sound very anxious in general so it might be worth tackling that. x

Unbelievable SMH

I don't get it, are they looking after your children without you at some point so you get a break? And it becomes y'know reciprocal!?

Anyway, they can't decide for you how you spend your holiday so don't stress about it.

You are completely overthinking this . You have said no. Stop thinking about it . You really don’t have to hide away, you don’t have to consider the rights and wrongs . It’s not your issue.

Do not ruin your holiday worrying about something that is now nothing to do with you.

I know it's hard, but you need to not act like you have done something wrong - it's not you that should be embarrassed, but rota mum! If anyone says anything, just repeat "I never offered or agreed before X put me on the rota, I assume she just made a mistake putting me on."

It's a mistake, you should never have been added. Anyone should be upset about it, it should be rota mum. Keep framing it as you aren't holding a grudge against rota mum, because clearly she is the one in the wrong, you think it's a silly mistake.

So are you babysitting next week, OP?