School Holiday Childcare Stress

[Rebecca4567]

Hi so I'm just after some advice.

So there is a school Mums what's app group.

One Mum posted info about a playcentre holiday pass and suggested some of us might want to purchase these as you can basically get in anytime you want during the school holidays. (Depending on how busy it is maximum play might be 2 hours).

A couple mums posted that it would be a good idea if the mums working that day dropped their kid/s off at the playcentre while the mums that were off watched the kids. Their ages range from approx 6 months to 8 years.

I wasn't sure what we our plans were for the holidays so didn't reply.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days.

Plus I have my niece and nephews twice a week so I would need to pay for them to get in both days plus lunch. Not that I mind of course it would be entertainment for them guess. I just mean I'll have 4 of my own to supervise plus god knows how many more.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work (a couple of the other SAHM's are away that week). BTW I am looking for work I'm not at home now through choice.

I know a couple of the kids in both my daughters classes but some younger siblings won't have a clue who I am. If I see them they're always in the pram. Some aren't even on solids. I've not changed a nappy in years. Some mums are friends of mine but some I just say hi too.

I just think this is a disaster. What if the kids get hurt. I'm having major anxiety.

Mums have replied saying their children are looking forward to it now and they will be upset if they cannot go.

Please give me honest answers. Am I being a spoil sport? Would you do it to help the mums out?

Thanks.

Your reply sounds just fine. Be prepared for them to come back with but this and but that. Just be firm - no sorry, I can't help. No sorry, I can't help etc on repeat. Don't worry about pick up time. Just smile and say "yup, that's right, I'm not able to help. Summer is so busy!"

Next Level CF

Sorry that's impossible for me.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work

That doesn't mean they can decide how you spend your time

Do not be guilted into something you never agreed to.

Also, no-one in their right mind would expect one person (or even two, or three) to take on that degree of child care.

I find it very hard to believe that parents would leave babies alone with a stranger for hours at a time - not even on solids and dumped at a play centre for hours on end???

But anyway, just say you can't do it. If you've four kids to look after that's plenty. These other women are taking the piss. Don't let them make a convenience of you FGS!

I don't understand... They can play for up to 2 hours, what happens the rest of the day?

Just go with "Really sorry but this isn't possible for me".

I’m a SAHM and would point blank refuse any days for those people. If I want to spend my holiday in a playcenter then I will go with my own kids if/when we feel like it.

I am all for helping out in an emergency but this is not one. They can all chip in to pay a childminder for the holidays if that’s what they are after.

So you have 1 child and have 3 extra twice a week?
Do you get some childcare from your dsis or db in exchange for looking after your neice and nephews?

Don't say you don't work - you do plenty!

I think I'd have laughed and said: "Nice one! You had me for a moment there. Anyway, have a lovely summer. We won't be at the play centre at all; it's not in our plans, but hopefully see some of you at some stage." With adding lots of laughing faces at the start.
Or otherwise, no explanation or apology required, just say it doesn't work for you and to take you off the rota.
But actually I'm struggling to believe this is real.

3 of them I Class as friends have valid excuses which the rest of the group know about. I do not.

Not wanting to is a "valid excuse."

Your reply was perfectly polite but I wouldn't give reasons.

Op, please please do not feel guilty about this.
They are the ones who are in the wrong, not you.
When you respond next time to this sort of ridiculous cheeky fuckery, try to word it without putting sorry in. You have zero to be sorry for.
Or.
Don't respond, don't engage, don't do it, don't worry about it.

Don't get drawn into any more explanations or apologies, if any of them approach you again. Just say 'I never agreed to this, and I'm not available to do it' and walk away, or ignore any further messages.

Wow. Just wow.

I can’t believe people would leave their kids with essentially strangers

The only thing you have to say is you wont be doing it.

Seriously? You need to respond RIGHT NOW and say that you can’t / won’t be doing this. If you are at all anxious about saying no then the longer you leave it, the worse it will be.

What kid wants to be stuck in the same play centre all day everyday?

Eh NONE!

They are being ridiculous. It just needs a simple "no, I didn't respond to your original request - I'm not available to participate in this plan". And repeat if anyone questions you or tries to guilt you into it. You don't have to give them a reason. Don't engage with any explanation as to why you aren't going to do this. Not wanting to is more than enough reason! They have no business knowing any more than that, and deciding that you're available because you're a stay at home mum is absurd and stupid of them.

How is it even going to work if centre is busy and they ask u to leave after 2 hours

I'm sorry I'm not a registered childminder and don't have a crb/ other one, nor insurance.
wow, you've all done well to get these together for the start of the holiday.

Do you get some childcare from your dsis or db in exchange for looking after your niece and nephews?

I'm not sure how relevant this is. The only relevant thing would be if she takes them willingly, and that wouldn't actually be relevant to this issue (siblings taking the piss wouldn't make others doing it more acceptable). I have already told my dsis that when her son is older he can come and stay with me for a week of the summer holidays, as I am a teacher and she and her husband works in the private industry. There is no reciprocal arrangement, just an opportunity for me to spend time with my nephew.

Utterly speechless

Yes, don’t give a reason. “I’m not going to be able to do this. I hope you all have a look very summer” is fine. If you give a reason they will find a way to solve it for you.

I'd just say kids are not that keen on play and can't afford to buy 4 passes

Your response was good OP. Cheeky message originally.

Especially in this weather.

What the actual fuck??????

I can't believe people would be so fucking cheeky!

My reply would actually just be saying it as it is " I am not taking a hit to my family income by being a stay at home Mum to then watch your child to allow you to work and have free childcare"

WTF. Who just leaves their 6 month old with a bunch of people they don't know that well who will also be in charge of countless other children. And why would anyone want to sit in a soft play for 5 hours?! Let alone for 5 days a week.