School Holiday Childcare Stress

[Rebecca4567]

Hi so I'm just after some advice.

So there is a school Mums what's app group.

One Mum posted info about a playcentre holiday pass and suggested some of us might want to purchase these as you can basically get in anytime you want during the school holidays. (Depending on how busy it is maximum play might be 2 hours).

A couple mums posted that it would be a good idea if the mums working that day dropped their kid/s off at the playcentre while the mums that were off watched the kids. Their ages range from approx 6 months to 8 years.

I wasn't sure what we our plans were for the holidays so didn't reply.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days.

Plus I have my niece and nephews twice a week so I would need to pay for them to get in both days plus lunch. Not that I mind of course it would be entertainment for them guess. I just mean I'll have 4 of my own to supervise plus god knows how many more.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work (a couple of the other SAHM's are away that week). BTW I am looking for work I'm not at home now through choice.

I know a couple of the kids in both my daughters classes but some younger siblings won't have a clue who I am. If I see them they're always in the pram. Some aren't even on solids. I've not changed a nappy in years. Some mums are friends of mine but some I just say hi too.

I just think this is a disaster. What if the kids get hurt. I'm having major anxiety.

Mums have replied saying their children are looking forward to it now and they will be upset if they cannot go.

Please give me honest answers. Am I being a spoil sport? Would you do it to help the mums out?

Thanks.

Half the mums won’t turn up when it’s their rota’d turn. You’ll get texts “can’t make it today, dad/granny got a last minute day off/working from home so is having my kids, isn’t that fab, see you tomorrow!” type of thing. You’ll end up on your own with them all.

It's a bit late for this, but I wwouood say to keep it as simple as possible

"I didn't volunteer for any days at all, because we have prior arrangements that whole week. Perhaps you have muddled me up with someone else? Good luck in sorting it out with those who can help".

Perhaps add - 'Can I add my thanks to you for taking on the organisation? Even though I'm a non-participant this year'

This is really irrisposible to leave so many children with one person. I am a childminder and there is a limit to how many children you can care for at one time.
Not a chance I would do this. Why would they have come up with this plan? Tell them you can not do it.

Why haven't they sorted something earlier it's a bit late now - just say no!

It absolutely astounds me sometimes just how much of other peoples time/money/etc others are willing to give away. And that such cheeky fuckers dare to suggest stuff like this in the first place. Its a nice idea, if everyone was to get something out of it and noone took the piss, but it seems not to be that way at all. They want to use you are free childcare, basically. Tell them to fuck off.

This is jumping to my number 2 in my own little list of cheeky fuckers on mumsnet, beaten only by....... drumroll please..... the Mexican house thief!!

How did you get on OP?

'No, I have other commitments'

And repeat repeat repeat.

Hi. I didn't collect the kids. I asked my mum too.

No one has replied to my message but I've checked a couple and they've all been only me.

For info some of you might have missed it. I wasn't having them all by myself 3/4 other mums would be helping. The babies wouldn't be with total strangers. They would be with mums that the other mums are close (ish) too. I perfume they would be paying for their lunch and giving money for snacks. There are a lot of events at the play centre so that week they would be baking / having a disco / doing crafts / having a PJ masks party. All extra stuff you have to pre book and pay extra for.

Also it didn't cross my mind before but some of you have mentioned the CRB. It's irrelevant but I do have one as a volunteer at a school.

I*

Don’t feel bad about it, some parents out there are just CFs and leeches, who think as a SAHM youve got nothing better to do than look after their kids for free. I’m a SAHM and without fail every year the same Mum of a girl in my daughter’s class tells me I should have her daughter and toddler over the whole of the summer holidays as she’s really stuck for childcare. Every time I pretend I think she’s joking and laugh it off and explain that’s part of why I gave up work in the end is because I struggled to get childcare and then I make sure I don’t engage with her again until September. I wouldn’t mind, but the woman barely says 2 words to me the rest of the year and our children have never played together. I know it might sound harsh, but it’s up to the parents to sort out their own childcare. Why the hell other people think you should do it, just because you’re a SAHM is beyond me. There’s so many CFs in our school that I’ve only ever offered to help out with childcare for my daughter’s best friend and her brother. Their Mum is lovely and is a single Mum with a full on career and I know she really struggles. As our daughters are best friends I have no problem helping her out, but she has never taken me up on the offer as she doesn’t want to impose. Very different to CF Mums who wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire, but think you some how should do whatever they need because you’re a SAHM. FFS

Since becoming a sahp I've found that people have become very free and easy regarding my time. I've been volunteered for all sorts of rubbish tasks because apparently I have nothing better to do with my time and I'm just sat around watching tv all day just waiting for someone to give me a thankless task.

Don't feel bad for saying no, OP. You made a choice to be a sahp- that doesn't mean that you owe these people anything. And don't allow yourself to be made to feel bad.

As others have already mentioned what happens if there is a 2 hour limit for sessions? Are the mums that are there supposed to divide up the children between them and take them home or somewhere else? Who will pay for that?

Op the only thing wrong with your note was that you said sorry to them a couple of times and you really have nothing to be sorry about - they’re the CF that need to be sorry for even thinking of this daft scheme, let alone expecting you to provide a free (to them, but not you) backbone of support!

It’s not so much the crb check that I would worry about - it’s the illegal childminding... locally a couple of police officers decided to swap childcare to cover shifts with each other. No money changing hands, in each other’s houses, all very friendly. And they got done (enough to make the papers - not sure if they were charged or found guilty but they definitely had to stop) as they weren’t registered childminders so it was deemed illegal childminding. So this scheme sounds like it would be too...

Absolute cheeky fuckers 😱😱😱

No, no, no. There is so much wrong with this. A 6 month old doing any of those activities would need 1:1 anyway!!!

@rosablue - they were found guilty of tax fraud. Essentially it was decided they were evading the tax on childcare they would have paid had they made formal arrangements. That reciprocal type of agreement is only legal between immediate family. Thereby turning children into commodities

never heard of anything like it.

These CFers have had all fucking year to sort out summer childcare issues; it's not a surprise when school gets out!

You did the right thing.

Thanks sayhello - I remember at the time thinking that they had been very unlucky to have been treated the way they were, given that they just seemed to be two mums, who worked at the same place, did shifts, were friends, had kids of similar ages and made what seemed to be an eminently sensible arrangement. Definitely more than a touch of Big Brother to say that two friends can't organise between themselves to look after each other's kids... Could see if they were taking in 6 kids and it was effectively mass childminding - but their circumstances - to do them for tax fraud seems a real stretch

However, OP, their loss might be your gain as you can use it to say that you don't want to be done for tax fraud!

I just can't believe this! That is CF at its absolute

The police women swapping childcare wasn't anything to do with tax - it was about whether reciprocal childcare constituted 'reward' meaning they should have registered as childminders. Actually regulations were clarified following that case to make reward only money/money's worth so reciprocal childcare is fine.

Rosa
Yes I remember that case. I was thinking about it when I read the post earlier. However there have been some amendments made to the childcare act since this case went viral and what they did would now be entirely legal as long as they minded the children at each others houses instead of their own.

However what these school mums are proposing is very different and I don’t think would qualify for an exemption and therefore parents looking after the children would have to be registered childminders. these are basically the rules.

Apparently there is a fine of up to £5k. With them proposing to do this in such a public place, I wouldnt be very surprised if they were questioned about what they’re doing.

Thanks for the clarification mindchilder - appreciated.

I think if I were in OP's place, I would still mumble something about it being illegal for her to do it, not that she needs any more strength to her argument than she doesn't want to do it, but handy to have something up her sleeve if needs be