School Holiday Childcare Stress

[Rebecca4567]

Hi so I'm just after some advice.

So there is a school Mums what's app group.

One Mum posted info about a playcentre holiday pass and suggested some of us might want to purchase these as you can basically get in anytime you want during the school holidays. (Depending on how busy it is maximum play might be 2 hours).

A couple mums posted that it would be a good idea if the mums working that day dropped their kid/s off at the playcentre while the mums that were off watched the kids. Their ages range from approx 6 months to 8 years.

I wasn't sure what we our plans were for the holidays so didn't reply.

Today one Mum has written down a list / time table of the available mums and she's put me down mon - fri 10-3 every day for the week. I am the only mum who's got all 5 days.

Plus I have my niece and nephews twice a week so I would need to pay for them to get in both days plus lunch. Not that I mind of course it would be entertainment for them guess. I just mean I'll have 4 of my own to supervise plus god knows how many more.

I replied to say I can't do every day and they have said I'm the only one that doesn't work (a couple of the other SAHM's are away that week). BTW I am looking for work I'm not at home now through choice.

I know a couple of the kids in both my daughters classes but some younger siblings won't have a clue who I am. If I see them they're always in the pram. Some aren't even on solids. I've not changed a nappy in years. Some mums are friends of mine but some I just say hi too.

I just think this is a disaster. What if the kids get hurt. I'm having major anxiety.

Mums have replied saying their children are looking forward to it now and they will be upset if they cannot go.

Please give me honest answers. Am I being a spoil sport? Would you do it to help the mums out?

Thanks.

Don't feel sick or anxious. Hold your head up, smile and say 'have a lovely summer, see you in Sept'.

They are CFs and at no point when someone assumes something are you obligated to agree to do something you don't want or need to do.

What nonsense. Rise above it and any sneering shows more about them then it does about you.

Don't do it Op.I was a SAHM when my kids were younger and like you many working moms thought I was a soft touch with nothing to do all day except mind /pick up /feed their kids when they were unable to due to work commitments.I am/was a very obliging person and did it to help them out of a pickle and because we were new to the area /country .As soon as our kids got older many of those moms 'forgot' who I was and would pass me in the street / shops of our small town and pretend they didn't know me or see me .You don't owe them anything.If staying at home with the kids is so easy they should do it themselves.

No-one could be irresponsible enoygh to send her [WHERE ARE THE FUCKING FATHERS?????] child(ren) into a situation with no food, a couple of adults who didn't agree to this, and the risk of themall being scattered when soft play kicks them out!

As for the one who organised this "rota," let her book be marked for presumptuousness and cheekyfuckery!

This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read. their childcare is not your problem. who the hell thinks this is a good idea?

I don't know why you feel sick and anxious or even why you needed to give any reason for not doing this. You never said you would help at the outset. Why would they put you down for this, frankly ill conceived, plan? It will all go tits up within the first few days anyway i imagine.

If you're feeling worried about seeing these mums, then you need to practice your baffled face. When you see them, look really confused and say you hadn't replied to the original message because you didn't need reciprocal childcare and you assumed that by not responding it was obvious you weren't to be included.

Tell them no!!
An example!

“Hi all. Just to be clear, at no point did I agree to take part in this. As such, I will not be providing any childcare or taking part in this rota as we have other plans”.

Cheeky fuckery at its absolute worst, op. Please don't be brow beaten into accepting this. You don't need to justify your reasons for not working either - that's nobody else's business.

Just remember op even “I don’t want to” is a valid excuse (if you need one).

Tell them to piss off. I'm a working mum and I never expect the school mums to do my childcare for me. I've sorted my own holiday childcare.

This is quite possibly the cheekiest thing I’ve seen on mumsnet in a long while. Who are these women?! Utter madness. Don’t feel bad AT ALL, you’ve done nothing wrong.

Find your inner Phoebe:
"I wish I could, but I don't want to."

How was the school run?

This is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. You’ve got the chance to have a lovely relaxed holiday with your children. Why the hell would you sacrifice that to spend hours in softplay when you get zero benefit. Spreadsheet lady is entirely deluded. Why on earth are you feeling even vaguely guilty. This is really not a normal ask!

I dont think you need to feel bad about this. Its an awful plan. 2 hours max in a play centre. Once a week. Not every day. Not even with my own dc. Let alone everyone elses.

Hold your head up. Youre already doing your fair share having you dsis dc.

It is a ridiculous suggestion! I think you're email back was good.

@Rebecca4567 please come back and update us
How did the school run go? Has anyone replied to your message on the group chat?

Just rtft! Well done OP!

Just say, I’m not free to do this at all. I can understand two or three working friends sharing childcare between them but this idea is utterly mad. I don’t imagine the soft play will let them do this anyway but why involve people who don’t even need childcare. What’s in it for you?

Madness! I'd reply 'that set up does not work for me, see you in September!' Who the hell would want to spend all summer sat in a playscheme/softplay, sounds like frickin hell. I'm a SAHM, mostly, I work weekends, time with my dc is precious, no way do I want to be looking after other people brats.

The potential for things to go very wrong from the start is massive. Who's going to be expected to change nappies etc? Are people crb checked? Do they have first aid training?

Tbh, I'd mention this at school because it rings many alarm bells to me.

for all those people saying that parents wouldn't do this, I've experienced it myself.
working parents (usually mothers) as they do most childcare arrangements, assuming the sahm's are happy to look after their kids whilst they work.
I'd help anyone out, and volunteered to be the designated emergency care for a few friends.
I covered sick days, snow days, inset days. The difference is my friends really appreciated it and took my dc out for an expensive day during the holidays.
I didn't expect this in return a bottle of wine would do, as a gesture.
They insisted though and my dc got a free Alton Towers day.

I'd tell others who tried to insist, cajole, or assume, to jog on.
One even said it would be no trouble for me to have her 4 kids as I was used to three already.
most working parents are lovely, but some will leave their dc with anyone, not only cf's but shouldn't have kids, if they can't make time for them.

Yes, please just say no!

"I never agreed to this and it doesn't work for us. See you at some point over the hols/ see you in September "

Or just say nothing but no!

Well done for standing up for yourself. It's terrible that they've forced you into a situation where you have to say no and then have to worry about peoples reactions at school. You haven't done anything wrong. Hold your head high!

V