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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not move from this seat?

281 replies

Namechangerr2018 · 23/07/2018 09:53

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU? Hmm

OP posts:
lovethesethreads · 23/07/2018 15:29

@Backstabbath
Get out of the wrong side of bed today? Chill pill in order me thinks!

JustABrokenDoll · 23/07/2018 15:30

the kid wanted a fucking go at pretending to be train driver for 5 minutes.

Presumably the other 3 people sat in the front seats also refused to swap seats when asked or the kid would have had his "fucking go". If all 4 people didn't want to move then maybe that was down to the way the mother asked, or the kid's tantrum, or both?

Maybe they should just play a game of Musical Chairs at each station on the DLR to mix things up a little Grin

Backstabbath · 23/07/2018 15:36

@lovethesethreads

Got out of bed really happy, just depressing reading some of the replies on this thread. Adults trying to justify their reasons not to make a child happy ... fucking vile some of you, should be ashamed.

reallybadidea · 23/07/2018 15:40

@Backstabbath have you missed the bit where the OP said her hip was hurting and she can't stand for long periods?

Inability to stand outweighs child's desire to play train driver in any reasonable person's book I would have thought.

VeryHangryCaterpillar · 23/07/2018 15:41

There are some very miserable Victorian attitudes to children in this thread. I wouldn’t have asked as it’s a bit cheeky but if there were other seats available, as has been alluded to in this incident, then I would absolutely give up that seat. Children don’t necessarily have tantrums because they are entitled little shits, maybe he is just train obsessive (as is my little boy), was bitterly disappointed at not being able to sit in the “driver’s seat” and is not yet old enough to cope with those feelings so acted out.

Backstabbath · 23/07/2018 15:47

@reallybadidea

No I didn't miss that part.
The OP's hip wasn't a problem when she moved from her original seat to the 'driver' seat, it only became a problem when she was asked if she would swap / move again.
If you had hip problems why move if you had got comfortable in a seat already?
The OP said the train was filling not that it was full. To me that means other seats were available to sit on.

TrudeauGirl · 23/07/2018 15:50

The OP's hip wasn't a problem when she moved from her original seat to the 'driver' seat, it only became a problem when she was asked if she would swap / move again.

I completely missed that bit in the OP. Had to go back and reread it when you mentioned it.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 23/07/2018 15:52

The OP said the train was filling not that it was full. To me that means other seats were available to sit on.

She said she didn't give up the seat because her hip means she can't stand for long journeys. Obviously there were no seats available for her to move to and she would have had to stand.

WaxOnFeckOff · 23/07/2018 16:00

I think it's difficult to understand the nuances of the situation to decide whether we are talking about a harrased mother with a 3 year old at the end of her tether or, the way I read it, I imagined a child of about 6 or 7 and a mother who likes to give him everything he wants to make him "happy", or any other of a number of scenarios which we are all inventing. As I said, I'd happily offer my seat if I saw a child looking wistfully, i'd be less inclined if I was asked.

We have no idea if any other passengers were asked or whether OP was chosen as she wasn't a teenager or man or another child and therefore be deemed as more likely to acquiesce to the request. We have no idea how old the child was, where his other parent and any siblings were, whether anyone has special needs, whether this was their once in a lifetime ride on the DLR, whether they were in a hurry or not and could have waited for the next one etc etc etc.

In general maybe the teenage board (and many teenagers) would be a bit less miserable if we concentrated less on making children happy and more on making them motivated, independent and responsible. Happiness is a result of other things, not an end goal.

maxthemartian · 23/07/2018 16:01

I wouldn't have moved either and I don't have mobility problems.
It's not just children that are entitled to fun things.
Anyway I don't much care for children and would rather make myself happy than one of them.

thecatsthecats · 23/07/2018 16:10

Hooray, we've finally been called vile. Only took eight pages Grin

HattieAndHerBoy · 23/07/2018 16:17

She said she didn't give up the seat because her hip means she can't stand for long journeys. Obviously there were no seats available for her to move to and she would have had to stand

The op had moved from her original seat to the one at the front.

karyatide · 23/07/2018 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaxOnFeckOff · 23/07/2018 16:24

She said she didn't give up the seat because her hip means she can't stand for long journeys. Obviously there were no seats available for her to move to and she would have had to stand

The op had moved from her original seat to the one at the front.

And? When she moved seats there was a space and then the train came into another station and got really busy.

sue51 · 23/07/2018 16:28

No way would I move for a 4 year old. I would never have asked someone to move for my children and I would have explained you can't always get what you want .

JustABrokenDoll · 23/07/2018 16:29

The OP's hip wasn't a problem when she moved from her original seat to the 'driver' seat, it only became a problem when she was asked if she would swap / move again.

Well maybe moving once was okay but she didn't want to move a second time to a less comfortable/suitable seat?

What about the 3 people who were in the other seats @Backstabbath, did any of them offer to swap with the mother and child?

AhhhhThatsBass · 23/07/2018 16:31

YWDNBU. Back in the day, children used to stand up for adults. More and more I see paying adults standing up to let children sit down. It's ridiculous. Fine if it's a child under 3.

JacquesHammer · 23/07/2018 16:33

More and more I see paying adults standing up to let children sit down. It's ridiculous

On three of the major lines I used when DD was a child they allowed you to pay a smaller amount to ensure a seat. I wouldn’t be prepared to allow a child to stand when I had paid for her seat.

IrmaFayLear · 23/07/2018 16:49

I think a lot of people now are very TripAdvisor-ed in that they have a list of "must dos" for a city and the best way to do them.

So for London one thing would be a ride on the DLR and to be sitting at the front. So the parents may well have promised this to their dc and when it doesn't transpire there's disappointment (or a tantrum).

But the trouble is that if everyone has their TripAdvisor manual then there are many competing tourists.

I listen to a particular travel podcast and this is discussed quite frequently - that expectations of special experiences are actually creating disappointment.

Backstabbath · 23/07/2018 17:01

@karyatide I think your right that I have overly invested in this thread and will give up now, not so much because the OP wouldn't give her seat up but more because it's sad the number of adults who think children will grow up entitled if they get to sit at the front of a train.

The remaining seats were probably already taken by children but we won't know because the OP hasn't been back

JustABrokenDoll · 23/07/2018 17:10

The remaining seats were probably already taken by children but we won't know because the OP hasn't been back

We don't need the OP to come back.

You earlier claimed to have seen this as you were on the same train.

You've clearly stated you saw the OP get up from a seat and walk to the front of the train, yet you have no idea about whether the seats next to her were occupied? Hmm

AhhhhThatsBass · 23/07/2018 17:11

PS I got the drivers seat on the DLR last week, it was very cool and I'm a good few decades older than 4.
Thinking about it, if a parent asked me to swap seats (rather than give up my seat to stand) so their offspring could sit in the drivers seat, I probably would, although I myself wouldn't dream of asking on behalf of my own DC.

Clionba · 23/07/2018 17:15

Where does it say that the child was 4?

Backstabbath · 23/07/2018 17:15

@JustABrokenDoll it wasn't me who said i was on the train. You have me confused with someone else

JustABrokenDoll · 23/07/2018 17:34

JustABrokenDoll it wasn't me who said i was on the train.

Ah fuck it, sorry about that! Could have sworn it was you Grin

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