AIBU to not move from this seat?

[Namechangerr2018]

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU?

[WellTidy]

I see both sides here.

The front seat on the DLR is, as the OP says, fun! It is because the DLR is a driverless train, so you can pretend to be the driver. There is something really, really fun about sitting in the front of the DLR and it is a different experience than what you usually get when sitting on a train.

For a 4yo, this would be amazing, I'm sure. My DC have always loved sitting in the front seat whenever possible.

I can understand the parent asking, although I wouldn't do it myself. But I can understand them asking, because it would be very special and exciting for a 4yo.

I can also understand you wanting to sit there yourself, for a fun experience! If there were no other seats available (you say that the train was filling up, not that there were no other seats available), I think it would have been nice for you to move so that the child could think he was driving the train. But you were perfectly within your rights to stay sitting where you were.

[flumpybear]

I can't believe either that the parent asked you to move - toughen up cupcake child you can't get your way all the time

Hope you enjoyed the ride

[runningkeenster]

This came up once before in the context of sitting in the front seat of a double decker bus. Why do kids always have to be humoured?

If you get there first, you get to sit there.

And don't ask people for your kids, they'll feel guilty if they say no, but why shouldn't they get the chance to enjoy the view, too?

[Annechristmas]

Is it a single seat? Just wondering if it was a double seat why she didn't sit next to you with the child on her lap.

[gamerwidow]

The train isn’t a toy though and you can’t ask people to accommodate your child’s wishes to play with it.
Have some respect for other people we’re not all here to service other people’s childrens whims.

[Nanny0gg]

I’m one of the people that will ask strangers if they’d mind giving up the front seat for my DCs but I would absolutely understand and think it was fair enough for you to stay put, don’t worry about it.

You’d what?

Where the hell does this kind of entitlement come from?

[gamerwidow]

Annechristmas the child didn’t need a seat. The DLR is driverless so kids like to sit in the front seat and pretend they are driving. This is the only reason the seat was asked for.

[Goostacean]

I once moved from the top front on a double decker bus for a dad and two kids, and felt really sad- yes, it is fun to sit at the front, and just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I don’t want to have that fun too! It’s the little things in life, after all...

Yanbu.

[LighthouseSouth]

if someone asked me to give up my seat for a child, I'd tell them to piss off.

I don't imagine that would expand a child's vocabulary, but if it does, then a double learning experience all round.

[ACatsNoHelpWithThat]

Even if the parent asks nicely knowing the person has the right to refuse, it can still spoil that person's day if they end up feeling guilty/playing it over in their mind as this OP has clearly done (and I would be brooding on it too in OP's position). Not fair to put someone in that position.

[pictish]

Of course yanbu - I can’t believe she had the gall to ask!!

[Slimmingsnake]

Now that is what is wrong with a lot of parents these days...it just ensures their child grows up feeling entitled.

[DustandRubble]

I love sitting at the front of the DLR and so do my kids, but I never ask people to move. It puts a real imposition on them as, like the OP, they could end up feeling shitty if they say no. And it is their right to say no for whatever reason.,

Sometimes an adult will see them and very graciously volunteer the seat, which I love them for. But you were not unreasonable not to give up your seat. Even if you had been able to stand or move to another seat it is still not unreasonable.

Also, part of the fun of the DLR is not knowing if you will get to sit in the front. If you always ask and the people move then it takes the excitement away.

[bookmum08]

My daughter once just stood in the space between the two front seats and did the driving from there.
The DLR is a bit different to regular trains and if this was a child who had never been on the DLR before or doesn't use it often he may have been told how exciting it would be to be the driver and I can understand his disappointment. I don't understand why he couldn't sit next to you. The seats are double seats.

[ShumpaLumpa]

I’m one of the people that will ask strangers if they’d mind giving up the front seat for my DCs but I would absolutely understand and think it was fair enough for you to stay put, don’t worry about it.

Oh, you've one of those parents, PalePinkSwan.

I would refuse to get up for this pro child out of principle because you are rude to ask unless he has a disability. Don't worry about it.

[bluebeck]

I am amazed at the posters admitting they are so entitled they actually ask other passengers to move in this situation

Cheeky Fuckers the lot of you!!!

YANBU OP

[MyDcAreMarvel]

Was their another seat available nearby?

[MyDcAreMarvel]

*there

[SheGotBetteDavisEyes]

At the risk of being at odds with the whole of the thread, I would move for the child without being asked. While it's good MN fun to call 4 year olds they've never entitled, spoiled and 'cupcake child,' I completely get - from a child's POV - the thrill of 'driving' the DLR.

They might be tourists, only there for a few days and won't get the chance to do it again, who knows? If it was no hassle to me, and made a young child smile, then were's the harm?

I don't buy into the wisdom on this thread that doing something nice for a child will turn them into spoiled monsters. I know the child was having a tantrum, but there could be all kinds of other reasons behind that.

On a very general note I treat other kids how I hope people will treat mine, and that includes doing the odd nice thing that makes their day fun.

All of that said, I disagree with the parent asking and would never dream of doing that!

[SheGotBetteDavisEyes]

never met

[LesbianNotQueer]

Also part of the treat of driving the train/bus is the luck of getting there first to get it! The joy of spotting it vacant and knowing it's yours. Everyone on the whole train wanted to sit there but they were playing by the rules. The kids parents are doing him a disservice by not teaching him how it works.

[LesbianNotQueer]

kid's*

[lottiegarbanzo]

I want to go on the DLR now! Never been.

What this leads to is adults who, when I've deliberately booked a train ticket to face forwards, at a table, beside the window, sit opposite me and ask if I'll swap. Or get on after me and sit next to me, with two empty seats opposite, and ask if I'd like to move (yes, really happened!). No, you numpty, I booked this seat because I want this seat! (Cue look of total confusion at the idea that other people have needs and wants too).

[Floralnomad]

Having used the DLR ( and sat at the front) I think it was reasonable for her to ask if she did so politely as it is enormous fun but it was equally reasonable for you to say no . It is not comparable to the front seats of a bus upstairs or downstairs where it would not be reasonable to ask someone to move for the child .

[Shoxfordian]

Yanbu
The parent should realise the world doesn't revolve around their child and shouldn't have asked you to move anyway.