AIBU to not move from this seat?

[Namechangerr2018]

Hi all, I’m a regular poster that’s nc because I don’t want people to find me irl.

So today I was traveling into work on the DLR and the front seat became available (you can see where this is going). I took my chance and sat there because it’s quite frankly fun.

Next stop a family gets on and the DS starts having a tantrum because he can’t sit there (bear in mind it’s getting really full up).

His DM asked if I could move but as my hip was hurting I replied that I could not as I can’t stand for long journeys.

WIBU?

So many Miss Trunchballs on this thread.

another YANBU

my DS always wanted to go at the top and front of the bus - if someone else was already there "oh well, maybe next time! "!

Happiness is a result of other things, not an end goal

That's very wise. It made me stop and think.

God I would move. In part from a totally selfish point of view as I don’t want to listen to a tantrumming child all journey

I disagree. There's nothing more refreshing than listening to an indulged child not being pandered to.

There's nothing more refreshing than listening to an indulged child not being pandered to

Fab. So you don’t offer your seat and “pander” to the child. I’ll offer mine to ensure a harmonious environment.

All happy including the child

Probably didn't explain very well Cherry but I was trying to say that pursuit of happiness as a concept itself is flawed and short term. Of course you want to be happy but internal long term happiness comes from feeling good about yourself and doing your best and your self esteem etc and simply doing things that make you happy in the short term isn't necessarily wise or the best for you. Same applies to your kid. Taking this thread as an example. If everytime you get on the DLR people move to let you drive, you might be very happy initialy but that will wear off, the excitment of not knowing if this might be the time you get to drive or not will last longer as will the ability to deal with disappointment in a positive way, the ability to understand that others might also want to drive the train and the perception to see which people might sense that you'd like to sit there and reward your patience etc etc.

Although the counter to that would be instilling the confidence in your DC to ask for what they want in life. I think that's an area where I feel that I haven't necessary done the best for my teen DC. They are probably overly compliant and shy.

I don't know really apparently I am grumpy (and vile).

..... And Miss Trunchbull!

I was just reading through and someone has called anyone agreeing with the OP and not giving up a seat as "fucking vile"! Talk about extreme.

I noticed that too Clionba! And they never get the irony of it!

These are the folk telling others to be kind....

Not read the thread... but I just love the front seats on the DLR, it's like a slow rollercoaster .

On the BBC news.
4 yr old boy from Australia sent a video to his Chelsea idols inviting them to a BBQ when Chelsea were playing in Perth.

You know what... they turned up and made his dream come true.

On MN he wouldn't have been allowed to send the video and would have been called rude for even thinking about it.

He would have been accused of being entitled and growing up expecting everything he asked for.

Sometimes a little kindness goes a long way..

back but maybe if his mum asked whilst he was tantrumming in the background the reponse might have been very different?

also a very opportune PR opportunity. Now it's been on the news I wonder how many other video invites they will receive and how many will be attended?

Sports professionals pleasing a fan and getting good PR.
A woman choosing not to give seat to stranger's child.
Similar, how?

Wonder how that would've gone down had the mother demanded they attend to keep the little one happy?

I live right near the start of the DLR and the way adults run to get the front seats is hilarious, me and my kids hardly get them but I wouldnt dream of asking anyone to move. Its tough luck.

@SnotGoblin you still haven't answered the one question that would really help people make their minds up if the OP was being U or not.
WHO WAS SITTING IN THE OTHER THREE SEATS???
Were they also asked to move? Were they all children?

@butterflykissess I live in Beckton and have observed the same, it’s ridiculous!

What! Yanbu the parents should teach the child respect and that you cannot always get what you want!

I disagree. There's nothing more refreshing than listening to an indulged child not being pandered to

DP and DS were lucky enough to get seats at the front of the DLR and they didn't even pretend to drive . I will be disowning them.

I am all for kindness especially for children but the DLR trains come pretty regularly. If it was that important to the family just wait 4 minutes for the next one to come along. Then the child gets the seat and is taught you sometimes need to wait your turn.

To be fair it could be possible that the DC could have had autism, or another condition. My DN is autistic and has a thing about buses, She likes to ride at the front and although my BIL wouldn't ask someone to move she does have meltdowns if its not what she expected. Not to say you have to move but a majority of posters saying the child should be told etc. etc. and it isn't often as simple as that.

If the alternative was standing YANBU but if it was moving to another close by seat then if it was me I'd probably move.

I can’t believe the mother asked you to move. I mean if you had seen the child look very disappointed (different from a tantrum) and then offered that would’ve been completely different (and I’m not saying you had to either by the way). But I have two kids and yes sometimes they get upset when they don’t get what they want and sometimes throw tantrums but if anything once it gets to the tantrum stage it’s better to ignore the behaviour completely. Which I’m very sorry to the people who once had to share a bus ride with my son screaming that he wanted a toy from the shop we had passed on the way to the bus but by ignoring him that time and those people none of whom thankfully got angry with me for not immediately making my child silent, it meant that future trips then didn’t include a tantrum about getting a toy every time we pass a toy shop.

There’s a difference between being disappointed and upset and flat out throwing a fit. If I was the mum in OPs scenario and my child was just upset I would semi-panda to them in that I would commiserate with them and say maybe we’ll get lucky next time. However if they were throwing a tantrum I would just take their hand and plonk them on either the nearest available seat or if standing just hold on tight to them and ignore the behaviour entirely. I honestly can’t believe the mum thought it was ok to ask a complete stranger to move because her child was throwing a fit.

Couldn't resist coming back to this thread. Never knew there were so many grumpy people in the world. Sitting on the front of the DLR could be the highlight of the trip to London for a young child. Moving seats is just nice. If you're on your own and you notice two people getting on the train together you move so they can sit together. If you notice someone struggling with a bag you give them a hand if you can.