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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that love at first sight is a real thing?

233 replies

Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 22:34

I totally believe in it. Not lust at first sight, but total "soul mates in a previous life" type feelings. But AIBU?
Watching a movie earlier with a friend who reckons LAFS is just a big load of bollocks. What do we think?

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 22/07/2018 22:49

On meeting future Mr ElQuintoConyo, my ovaries exploded. Tall, broad shoulders, Dublin accent, twinkly eyes. Slight paunch, funny hair, terrible taste in clothes! We got together a month after meeting.

Not felt it since in 20 years. Not even a ight nipple fizz.

But... I wasn't looking for it, i didn't expect it and i didn't believe in it or any such romcom Jennifer Aniston/Julia Roberts bollocks. Totally took me off guard!

lecossaise · 22/07/2018 22:49

I absolutely agree! A few times in my life I have met someone and gotten a feeling (not exclusive to partners, so it isn't lust) of 'you are going to be important in my life'. It's not exactly love, but it's definitely the 'I've known you a thousand years' vibe.

... I realise this sounds a bit mental, I'm otherwise quite rational I swear!

Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 22:50

@KeepServingTheDrinks that's a theory that makes sense. Ha I do feel you pissed on my chips thoughGrin

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Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 22:52

@Pingipinguin what happened?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 22:53

@lecossaise yes that's what I mean. Not like ' I need to get you in to bed right now' but something stronger?

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InConstantNeedOfAGin · 22/07/2018 22:54

My first date with my DP blew me away, I haven't had feelings like it ever before. Now I'm head over heels, disgustingly soppy, embarrassingly in love with him 2 years later. Was it love on that first date? I'm not sure .... but it was definitely something. I'm one of these people who doesn't let her feelings show, always keep a hard front. Doesn't happen when he is around 😂

B1rdonawire · 22/07/2018 22:55

I believe in it but wouldn't have if anyone else tried to convince me Grin It absolutely was the thousand years thing, I looked at future DH (who was not what I would have described as my type) and just had an "Oh! It's you, I didn't know it would be you" type feeling that grew and grew. It was kind of deeply peaceful and fantastically exciting at the same time.

Quittingthyme · 22/07/2018 22:56

I believe in 'something' at first sight. I met my now husband a couple of times, there was something about him that played on my mind, we then didn't see each other for over 12 months, and then...

Fireworks.

It was amazing.

We are 14 years in now

Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 22:59

@B1rdonawire you have described the feelings I mean just perfectly.

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gillybeanz · 22/07/2018 22:59

It was for me and dh, and we've been married for 25 (nearly 26) years together for 30 years.
We both consider ourselves very lucky and are still just as much in love as we were then.
I went on holiday without him last week, due to his work.
We missed each other so much and both felt lost, even though we were both happy doing what we were doing.

peachgreen · 22/07/2018 23:00

I never ever believed in it but I knew the moment I met DH that he was "the one" and I would marry him. I physically felt something click in my chest, it was like coming home. And more than that, I knew instantly that he felt the same, something I'd never experienced before. I'd always been incredibly insecure but I knew that DH would love me, despite the fact that physically I am really not his type. Even when we were completely NC for almost a year due to complicated circumstances we both knew it was only a matter of time and we'd end up together.

It wasn't love at first sight in the true sense of the phrase because I fell in love with him as I got to know him. But when I first saw him I instantly I knew that I WOULD love him. Don't ask me how. But I did. I would have married him that day.

I wouldn't expect anyone to believe me because I wouldn't have believed me before it happened to me! Sounds like utter bollocks. But it was very real. I'm incredibly indecisive in general life but I've never had a moment's doubt about DH.

peachgreen · 22/07/2018 23:03

"Oh! It's you, I didn't know it would be you"

That's exactly it @B1rdonawire!

jemmstar1980 · 22/07/2018 23:04

Absolutely knew I’d met the man I was going to marry the moment I clapped eyes on him. Been married for 12 years now.

My dad proposed to my mum the moment he met her - they’ve been married 41 years.

readsalotgirl63 · 22/07/2018 23:05

I had seen dh a few times before he asked me out. First date was good - talked for hours and agreed second. By the end of second date I knew this was it - just had a feeling in my gut that this was sooooo important.

He was due to go overseas ( in forces ) couple of months later - had a long distance relationship before getting engaged unofficially in the September , officially in December and married the following year . Will be 27 years this September - he is still my best friend and has cheered for at every high and comforted me at every low in all the years since.

Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 23:05

@peachgreen that's beautiful and exactly what I mean. The real physical sensation. The click!

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DamsonPie · 22/07/2018 23:07

I think it does happen. But I think it’s because you have an idea of “perfect” in your head and something clicks in your brain when you meet someone who matches up to that idea.

MuggledOff · 22/07/2018 23:08

My experience was exactly like peachgreen's. When I met my husband for the first time I absolutely knew I would marry him. I was 19 and dating a few people casually while I healed from a breakup, so was not looking for anything serious. I went on a date with DH and remember thinking 'ah fuck. I'm going to marry this guy'. It was almost like I was resigned to my fate Grin It was just an acceptance of the inevitable

Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 23:09

@DamsonPie that is what I suspected initially. But what if the lightning bolt hits you at a time when you think you're totally content and happy, and the feeling comes as a total surprise. What if you're not looking for love but it finds you anyway?!

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readsalotgirl63 · 22/07/2018 23:10

Agree with peach green - dh had to leave about 3 months after we met . he was more cautious - but I would have gone with him then and married him at that point.

There is a poem by Edwin Muir that sums it up exactly for me
The Confirmation
Yes, yours, my love, is the right human face.
I in my mind had waited for this long,
Seeing the false and searching for the true,
Then found you as a traveller finds a place
Of welcome suddenly amid the wrong
Valleys and rocks and twisting roads. But you,
What shall I call you? A fountain in a waste,
A well of water in a country dry,
Or anything that's honest and good, an eye
That makes the whole world seem bright. Your open heart,
Simple with giving, gives the primal deed,
The first good world, the blossom, the blowing seed,
The hearth, the steadfast land, the wandering sea.
Not beautiful or rare in every part.
But like yourself, as they were meant to be.

TheSassyAssassin · 22/07/2018 23:11

Yes. Had it once. Most incredible feeling ever. Door opened behind me and something made me turn round. Our eyes connected across a busy room and I literally had to cling on to stop myself falling off my chair. Ten years together but very sadly it didn't last. Still friends now though. Would bloody love to have the lightning strike again! Grin

Original poster
Hoovermanoevre · 22/07/2018 23:13

@readsalotgirl63 lovely poem . Perfect.

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Mousefunky · 22/07/2018 23:15

Love is far deeper than merely finding an attraction in the look of someone. Love is actually quite deep, gritty and fucking hard at times. It’s being with someone through all of the tough times as well as the fun. Lust at first sight is real and lust is all of the easy, simplistic, wonderful fluffy emotions without the grit of reality. Love is far deeper and takes longer to establish than a few seconds.

TSSDNCOP · 22/07/2018 23:21

I knew I would marry my husband the night I met him.

He’s an utterly cocky, self-confident, sarcastic arsehole that makes me laugh until a bit of wee comes out.

But he’d slay dragons if I asked.

Ask me how I knew this the first night and I couldn’t say. But the next morning I told my best friend I’d met my husband.

LellyMcKelly · 22/07/2018 23:22

I don’t believe in LAFS but I do know that when I met my DP for the first time (via OLD) it was all I could do not to hold his hand straight away. The connection felt so strong. Of course, he could have been a complete dickhead, but he was so lovely that I fell for him very quickly. I loved spending time with him - it was easy and fun - and I just felt very lucky to have met him. Three years on and I still do. I don’t believe in The One, but if I did, it would be him.

LittleLionMansMummy · 22/07/2018 23:22

Dh walked into the room, our eyes met and a light immediately went on. I didn't/ don't have a specific 'type' but knew instantly that he was it. We talked all evening and I was so sad that I would probably never see him again. He left a note under my car windscreen wiper with his phone number on it. Neither of us was looking, but bang! There is was, whatever you call it (lightning strike is an accurate description). 16 years and 2 dc later, he's still my best friend and there's nobody I'd rather spend my time with.

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