To ask for your best joke?

[JennaTools]

I'm in a really bad and sad place tonight, hit me with your best jokes!!

Sex in a lift...

wrong on so many levels.

I went to the zoo yesterday and there was only one animal there! A dog!
It was a Shih Tzu

What cheese would you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone 🐴

What’s the difference between a grubby bus stop and a lobster that had a boob job?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

Two snowmen standing in a field, one says to,the other "can you smell carrots?"

Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory?

All that was left was de brie

Also forgot to say Jenna (OP)

Sorry you're having a bad time and thanks for a lovely thread

Did you hear about Polo the prostitute? She made a mint out of her hole.

Sorry!

Why wouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon

‘Cos she’ll ‘let it go, let it go’

Jesus goes into a posh restaurant and asks to book a table for 26.

Maitre d says, 'There are only 13 of you.'

'Yes, but we're all gonna sit round the same side.'

@IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying thanks so much, this has really made me smile. Also love your name!!!!!!

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese.

What do you call a man who can't stand?

Neil 😂

I’m gobsmacked that anyone finds any of these jokes amusing. Seriously.

What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge

What's white and blue and can't climb trees?
A fridge in a denim jacket.

My favourite jokes are stevie wonder jokes but better not say them here 😂

Iseethickpeople thanks for your input!!
They're making me laugh!

@iknow, reminds me of my mum's two favourite and completely batshit jokes

What's white and blue and swings through trees - a fridge in a denim jacket.

Two penguins sat in the bath. One says to the other "pass me the soap" the other one says "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

A baldy cat got on the bus, the driver said.... where's your fare

@itsbritney are you Scottish? I read that in a Scottish accent

monroe I don’t get it!

Thanks OP. I've been having a giggle at these, and reading them out to dd

Very sorry ISeeThickPeople that you have had a sense of humour bypass. It is a shame, You are missing out in life.

Have some elephant jokes:

How does an elephant hide in a tree?
Paints his toenails red.

How does he get down again?
Sits on a leaf and waits until autumn.

How do you know if an elephant is in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling

How do you get four elephants in a mini?
Two in the front, two in the back

How do you get four giraffes in a mini?
Take the elephants out, two in the front, two in the back

How do you get two whales in a mini?
Take the M4

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

How do you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

A weasel is weaselly recognised but a stoat is stoatally different!

What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra

What do you call a three-legged donkey?
A wonkey!