Regardless of OP'S sex any parent who prioritises career and materialism over parenting is getting it wrong imo.
OP'S posts are coming across to me as if they like the IDEA of being a parent but not the reality and we see PLENTY of posts by women on here struggling due to being married to men like this and those men ARE judged wanting.
Dads who are rarely at home, have a barely there relationship with their kids, don't do the day to day grind of parenting (feeding, nappy changes, bath time, caring for sick DC) are definitely judged as poor fathers.
Nothing wrong with wanting a demanding career but a demanding career and parenting don't imo mix.
I've seen plenty of children of divorce feel hurt, rejected & resentful when the nrp goes on to have a new family.
I've also seen the scenario when it was the mother who was the nrp and honestly those feelings are even deeper, those mothers were the ones rejected when they got to a point where they could ease up career wise and thought (as it suited them) that this was the point at which they could spend quality time with their DC, the DC weren't interested. They had/have close relationships with their father & sometimes step mothers too, closer than the one with their nrp mothers and the nrp mothers are bewildered and don't understand why. Yet to everyone else it's obvious, and just as with nrp fathers it's because the DC are now old enough to realise the one who did the real parenting, made the sacrifices was the RP. The mothers I know who were nrps though expect - because they're mothers - for there to be an automatic better bond, more closeness than to the RP fathers, even trying to demand it.
No, it's not automatic it's earned. By broken nights sleep, early mornings, doing the graft.
It IS just like what many separated/divorced dads do and there are consequences to that. For the children and the nrp.
The difference is, right or wrong, we live in a world where mothers are usually the child carers, who live with children post-divorce and her dds will see that more & more as they grow older and question why their mother chose otherwise. I've also read several threads on here by dds who's mothers were nrps who when they become mothers themselves find it even more difficult to understand why their mother didn't keep them as an RP.
I too find it very hard to understand any mother who, unless basically have no choice, allows their one year old, to live elsewhere, but see them regularly. I just know I couldn't have done that, it would've been too hard.
I think it's asking for trouble.