OP, take the advice with a pinch of salt, only you know really what is going on in your relationship. People are taking words said in one argument (in the past, it seems?) and making a generalisation. However, if it was just one heated argument and it was all "I'll do this, I'll do that", I wouldn't consider this an abusive relationship, just a bad heated argument. Unless it's something he drops often to scare you.
I wouldn't be upset until he is actually getting stuff to go. I think he's bluffing to friends and he will turn around near the date and say something like "baby came early, sorry I can't go but you can visit. The friends have no way of knowing it's a planned C-Section, he will get lots of sympathy and they might even come to see you/him. Otherwise, if he had said I cannot go, he would have just been dropped from the details and organisation, and friends might lose that instant enthusiasm to come and visit. I think he is keeping himself in the spotlight for them. I agree with the ego thing.
I wouldn't take words out of one argument to make it an example of a relationship. I've said things I didn't mean just because I was hurt and wanted my DH to feel hurt. Wrong, I know, I've stopped doing that because he actually took the words to heart and felt it was emotional blackmail. Something said in the middle of an argument does not mean he actually feels or thinks or has any intention to follow up what he said. If it was a one off, and not something he threatens you about to do what he wants. He seems to have been at your side in a traumatic experience, I don't think he's a selfish tw*t with the details given, just immature. But again, you know your relationship best.