Partner wants to go camping 6 days after dd2 is born

[tbear101]

He has been invited on a night out to go camping, about an hour away. He hasn't even told his friends that his partner is due another baby and so won't be able to go aibu?

It wouldn’t bother me, but if it bothers you you should tell him.

Have you had a section on your other children. You won’t be able to do anything for a couple of days. You will need help to go to the toilet etc. I mean anything. By day 6 assuming everything goes okay at the hosital your will be able to feed the baby and change a nappy but you won’t be able to lift the baby out of a crib or put it back in. You won’t be able to get into the bath without help you won’t be able to cook for other children etc etc.

it wouldn’t bother me

What do you mean NotUmbungoUnchaineddo you have a live in nanny, cook maternity nurse so it’s ok for your OH to fuck off camping post your c section??? And you have a dd to take care off?

Enlighten us please

If this is all playing out over FB I would be so, so tempted to take a photo of your belly or even just your hospital bag and bloody tag him in it and say "X days until section date - can't wait!" Mention the section because it makes a huge difference between 'just' feeling crap to not being able to pick up a child.

@seasawride it just wouldn’t bother me

He needs a reality check....sit him down and tell him it's time to grow up, be a man and look after his family

NotUmbongo - have you ever had c-section?

If it's on FB why don't you just message them yourself? i think some men see paternity leave as a holiday i know my ex did planned meeting up with friends, days out etc. hence why he is an ex

I worry about you, umbongo

@anyfucker well, no need thanks dear I’m fine.

Yes I have had a csection. It’s one night and no that wouldn’t bother me.

That is very deeply weird behaviour on his part, OP. As is not wanting to tell his family you're pregnant until your third trimester.

You're going to have to confront him about the messages. It'll be weird and he might well be angry, but you can't carry on up to the birth where he's pretending you don't exist/aren't pregnant and you're pretending you don't know that.

Put a nice pick of your Dd on his page and say something like.
Dd is so looking forward to one to one time with daddy when I give birth to baby number 2 on (and put the c-section date in a bright colour). Get all the activities lined up ready Dad, it's you and me looking after Mum and baby for a few weeks.
See if any of his friends see it.

Camping 6 days after baby is born is shit.

I had a csection after a 3 day labour. I showered 2 hours after. Walked normally. Picked up my baby. Bathed the next day. Changed nappies. Changed clothes. Took painkillers and got on with it.

You are not debilitated after a c section.

You are all assuming he actually wants and intends to go. He might just be saying "yeah, yeah, sure" to his friends because he doesn't want to say right now why not (,e.g. waiting for week 25 as it has been mentioned), then he will turn around and give an excuse. He never actually intends to go. Unless he buys the tent

I was u expectedly ill 6 days after birth. To have my dp elsewhere I'd have gone crazy.

Your dp sounds like he hasnt got a backbone and trying to still fit in with his mates. He needs to wake up and get real

Is he nuts? Of course he can’t go! And he needs to tell his pals that. Very weird.

You are not debilitated after a c section.

You weren't debilitated after a c-section. I assume you cared for two children and a newbirn perfectly all by yourself, yes?

We should all be so smazing

I suspect that he’s just planning on ducking out last minute after never intending to go in the first place. A bit passive and weird but I suspect there’s no real intention of going.

Wow... there are some amazing women with super human powers on this thread who had c sections and bounced back right after.

I struggled to cope after an episiotomy with no older kids to look after.

Larrythecat, we are not assuming that op's partner will go on the trip. No one's assuming anything. But op can do without the worry of whether he will or won't be abandoning her in her hour of need. And yes I would consider this abandoning as this trip is not essential in anyway.

What op needs is reassurance as any pregnant woman might that her partner will be there every step of the way before during and after the birth of their baby.

I think that my elective section went pretty smoothly, and if I'd been left to look after my baby and DS after 6 days we wouldn't have died, but we would have had a much more difficult time.
YANBU

He cannot be serious!

Sorry I just mean that we would have survived, but there is a difference between surviving/coping and having a nice time. This matters for you but it really, really matters for your older DCs.

I had a csection after a 3 day labour. I showered 2 hours after. Walked normally. Picked up my baby. Bathed the next day. Changed nappies. Changed clothes. Took painkillers and got on with it

I did all those things as well after a c-section...didn't even need the painkillers(smug)...I still wouldn't want to be on my own with 3 children so soon after surgery though.

OP YANBU.

I had DD 5 days ago and we are still in hospital, has he considered one or both or you might be poorly afterwards?