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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBUto think this is a disappointing anniversary present

267 replies

RoseandHarry · 21/07/2018 15:03

Me and DH are married 2 years tomorrow. We have 1DS whose 7 months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant. We are off on holidays this evening and a bloody great fruit bouquet has just arrived as my anniversary gift. My DH explained he thought it would be better as we could take it away with us (we are driving) and flowers would get wasted. I'm really disappointed and think it's such an unromantic gift. I'm also dreading driving in a car on holiday with a grizzly baby and a basket full of rotting fruit !!!

OP posts:
MariaMadita · 21/07/2018 22:26

I give my own mother her favourite flowers on my birthday... It's just a small gesture of appreciation, I suppose.

PeanuttyButter · 21/07/2018 22:28

I think your being ungrateful. He obviously thought about it and your throwing it back in his face. Give him a break, enjoy your fruit enjoy your holiday and stop moaning. Bloody hell!

MariaMadita · 21/07/2018 22:29

Next you’ll be suggesting we all buy gifts for a baby before it’s even born. hmm

That's a bit like congratulating someone before their actual birthday. I'm not superstitious enough to believe it's actually unlucky... But it does seem rather presumptuous.Hmm

JustVent · 21/07/2018 22:30

MariaMadita I literally just described a baby shower. GrinGrin

MariaMadita · 21/07/2018 22:34

I know... But it seems weird. And as I said, presumptuous.Grin

Clandestino · 21/07/2018 22:34

We are all different. I'd be excited to get a present like this. Some people wouldn't. I'd love a fruit bouquet and wouldn't mind bringing it on holidays because I would probably nibble on it and finish it before we arrived.

MariaMadita · 21/07/2018 22:35

To me personally.

I'm obviously not saying that others shouldn't have them... But it seems like congratulating in advance to me. Or borrowing crutches when you don't need them...Wink

hairyscarey · 21/07/2018 22:43

Why do you need a "present". You're going on holiday. You sound very entitled.

thebewilderness · 21/07/2018 22:44

I agree. H buying himself a basket of fruit to take on a trip and pretending it is for your anniversary is not very romantic.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 21/07/2018 22:49

MariaMadita, wishing someone happy birthday in advance is fine in the UK. (Are you German? I've put my foot in it with Germans over this, before I learned). You can, and people often do, hold birthday parties before the day, too, if it's more convenient that way (say birthday is on a Monday, the party might be on the Saturday before).

OP, I'm very much in two minds. I think it's quite a sweet present, plus I think expecting presents for an unremarkable anniversary a little excessive tbh (but that we don't really mark our anniversary, not with presents and meals out etc - we went out for a late lunch for our 10-year anniversary, and our silver wedding is in 7 years' time and we will definitely mark that, but not ordinary ones). OTOH, it's not really a present for you as such, is it? It's holiday supplies.

MariaMadita · 21/07/2018 22:55

AnElderly

I grew up in Germany / am part German, yes ;)

PlatypusPie · 21/07/2018 22:56

I think it’s a lovely, thoughtful gift - and why is it going to be rotting so quickly ?

timshortfforthalia · 21/07/2018 23:03

Dh and i have never exchanged anniversary presents. We've been married 13 years and it has never occurred to me that this is a thing.

I would find it really stressful if it was important to dh that i chose him a gift that he found suitably special every year.

Botanicbaby · 21/07/2018 23:12

Agree with Bluntness I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself. What’s so wrong with receiving a basket of fruit? You got a present, be gracious about it. Life is short. Pick your battles. Appreciate what you have.

londonrach · 21/07/2018 23:15

Anniversity gifts? Dh and i forgot till two days later about yours last year. Please dont worry op its the thought that counts. The fact you doing gifts is sweet.

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 21/07/2018 23:16

What’s so wrong with receiving a basket of fruit?

Nothing if you love fruit and haven't got to take it away on a driving holiday with you...

Botanicbaby · 21/07/2018 23:27

I can’t get worked up about someone about to go on a driving holiday and having to take a basket of fresh fruit with them. It’s hardly the end of the world.

You’re privileged. Be excited about your holiday. Eat the bloody fruit. Job done. Or donate it to charity & next time make sure he gets you whatever you perceive to be appropriate. YABU btw.

Hope34 · 21/07/2018 23:28

Hello

I know how you feel, it’s not great but he tried..as others have said...let’s give him the benefit of the doubt.

More importantly...buy yourself a gift onholidayGrin

CoolCarrie · 22/07/2018 00:19

Err...gifts for the mother on the child’s birthday? That’s a new one, probably an American thing...

KwatahPanda · 22/07/2018 01:25

lol - You need presents to make you feel special

NO, but since you obviously need it spelled out to you, she would like the present that was given to her to show what he thinks of her. Fruit baskets, the sort you send to colleagues and convalescing grandfathers don't fit the bill.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but my dh knows never to get me a present for my birthday, Christmas or our anniversary - I just don't want any! If I want something I'll buy it myself. We might go out for dinner with the children, this is what i will enjoy.

There's nothing wrong with that, if that's what makes you happy. It would be weird if he bought you something every anniversary knowing you didn't want it. Can't her dh consider her and what she likes though?

.gifts for the mother on the child’s birthday? That’s a new one, probably an American thing...

Why would it be an American thing? Confused You've just read about it on a British forum. Confused it's not by the way, save your xenophobia for Halloween which also isn't an American thing

1forAll74 · 22/07/2018 04:01

This is a great gift. If you really think it's necessary to have gifts at all. all that fruit,and a family going on holiday,,what's not to like. you can eat the fruit in the car, instead of chocs and crisps etc .

itwasallveryfuckedup · 22/07/2018 04:29

Why do people keep saying it's thoughtful? He went on a website presumably to get flowers, saw that and thought oh that will last longer. It's a five minute purchase that doesn't have the op in mind as she doesn't even really like fruit. It doesn't reflect her at all. Some people are so happy for scraps.

Candyflip · 22/07/2018 04:40

How long did it take him to pick out Tiffany earrings? The OP loved them, but that takes even less thought. My favourite ever present was the Twinings tea when I lived in Africa and couldn’t get it anywhere. Or the old Cine films from my childhood transferred to DVD. Whereas the Lanières ring, whilst beautiful and appreciated, was picked up at the airport with absolutely no effort.

MariaMadita · 22/07/2018 06:59

Err...gifts for the mother on the child’s birthday? That’s a new one, probably an American thing

New? Maybe. American? I'd be rather surprised.

I think it's nice. And respectful / appreciative.

Candyflip · 22/07/2018 07:04

I like it. My children’s birthdays are special to me too. I brought them into this world so their birthdays are directly related to me. I haven’t gone down the present route (yet!) but we always have champagne, even before the kids were old enough to partake and we toast me, and us and them. My husband humours me 😂

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