AIBUto think this is a disappointing anniversary present

[RoseandHarry]

Me and DH are married 2 years tomorrow. We have 1DS whose 7 months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant. We are off on holidays this evening and a bloody great fruit bouquet has just arrived as my anniversary gift. My DH explained he thought it would be better as we could take it away with us (we are driving) and flowers would get wasted. I'm really disappointed and think it's such an unromantic gift. I'm also dreading driving in a car on holiday with a grizzly baby and a basket full of rotting fruit !!!

What did you think you'd be getting? (We've never done presents for non-important anniversaries. A meal out, a bottle of champagne to celebrate surviving another year, but not gifts.)

@mn101 You mention your gift of a Michelin star restaurant meal. So, are you disappointed at the perceived imbalance of cost? Do you think he should have bought you something more expensive?

It's a bit crap, tbh. But I do like the idea of chopping it up and freezing it for smoothies/juicing. Bit shit that you've all that to do on top of getting ready for your holidays as well though!

DH got me a nutribullet one Christmas. I don't even like smoothies that much. He was annoyed I wasn't thrilled with it - but it was more of a present for him than for me. He's used it far more than I have!

I think it shows a lot of thought. And he’s right, it’s something lovely to take with you on holiday.

What did he get you last year and what did you want?

And why do people keep saying rotten fruit?! It only just arrived. How long is this drive going to be?

Unless you're driving for a week or so I'm sure the fruit will keep...

The fruit was delivered today and you go away tonight? It's hardly going to be rotting then is it

Would you have preferred flowers?

We have never done Anniversary gifts to each other, which we agreed upon together before we got married and tbh I'm not a 'romantic' over gifts and usually prefer something I've had my eye on or something functional that I would enjoy using.

In this case I would be really happy with a big fruit gift, but it does feel a little out of place against your gift for him, if that's the way your measure gifts then I can see why you would be a bit disappointed.

What did you get him?

Well ... i'm not sure i'd be too excited about receiving fruit as a 2nd anniversary gift.

Fruit to bung in the car and everyone to eat on holiday. It's not filling me with much of a warm excited glow

What would he think if you'd bought him the fruit OP? Would he look at you a bit ? My DH certainly would.

It's only going to be a few hours but the fruit came through the post and isn't looking it's best already !!!! Plus it's 30 degrees!!!!

As I'm feeling a bit frumpy, hormonal and pregnant I think I was hoping for something that made me feel like his wife not just mum again I guess!! But maybe I gave that up when we decided to have kids!

I am aware I'm sounding very petulant but I don't even like fruit that much !!

What did you get him?

great she's already said - an posh meal out.

A posh meal out.

Why is everyone acting like the choice was between fruit or flowers? Surely if you're going away somewhere you look for something non perishable? I think it's a really weird gift, and if you now need to prep and freeze it all it's more of a chore really. Tell him to prep and freeze it himself. I'd be annoyed to. And the bar should never be set at "at least he remembered". Let's give the average man a bit of credit for having a brain shall we?

Maybe give the fruit to someone who needs it more than you do...?

YABU that’s a really thoughtful gift and I agree with your DH about flowers.

He obviously put some thought into it and maybe he knows you are not person who likes things go to waste? Lots of people prefer fruit or chocolate bouquet instead of stardard flowers. They even make alcohol ones with tiny little bottles. Cute.

For next year, you could just hint if you fancy normal flowers.

What did you get him?

I got us lunch at a Michelin star restaurant. Something for a bit of 'us' time and hopefully a bit romantic. It was that expensive as I got a deal but I'm on mat leave pay at the moment anyway !!!

You sound incredibly ungrateful.
A gift is a purchase that somebody makes to show that they are thinking of you and, in this case, to celebrate your anniversary.
He has clearly thought outside of the box as you are currently pregnant and several "traditional" gifts eg alcohol would be inappropriate.
I feel sorry for your other half.

This! He may not have got it right (in your eyes), but full marks for effort. If you act ungrateful now, you'll be lucky if you get another anniversary present. Ever.

Btw, what did you get him?

I got us a lunch at a Michelin star restaurant

I assume the 'Michelin Star' bit is intended to make a point?

If it's a 'cost' thing; you're buying lunch - the Michelin starred place near us does lunch for around £20 per person. He bought you a thoughtful, lovely gift that was probably about the same value (a quick Google gives an average price of around £50).

He has clearly thought outside of the box as you are currently pregnant and several "traditional" gifts eg alcohol would be inappropriate.
I feel sorry for your other half

This. He probably thought it would be nice to take with you. YABU and pretty ungrateful.

And that is also true he could have actually got me anything it didn't need to be a choice between flowers and a bloody great basket of fruit

xpost. Excellent gift! Was it what he wanted?

In 3 weeks time I will have been married for 30 years. Some years we have bought gifts for each other, some we haven't. Sometimes one of us buys a gift and the other doesn't. It doesn't matter. But we ALWAYS go out for dinner (at least) or go away somewhere. I think this is far more important.

The gifts are pretty unbalanced so just tell him that you don't really find fruit a treat.

And what did you actually want for the anniversary? Have you hinted on anything?