AIBUto think this is a disappointing anniversary present

[RoseandHarry]

Me and DH are married 2 years tomorrow. We have 1DS whose 7 months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant. We are off on holidays this evening and a bloody great fruit bouquet has just arrived as my anniversary gift. My DH explained he thought it would be better as we could take it away with us (we are driving) and flowers would get wasted. I'm really disappointed and think it's such an unromantic gift. I'm also dreading driving in a car on holiday with a grizzly baby and a basket full of rotting fruit !!!

I would be happy with it but I am easily pleased 😀

Personally if hubby takes me out to dinner I don't see that as a great present to me as it's really a present for both of us.

I'd actually prefer something along the lines of what your DH got you

I would recommend that you show appreciation for the present and the thought that went into it. In a few months, set up a shared Pinterest board for present ideas.

It was our 5 year anniversary yesterday and I got nothing, not even a card

I do think yabu, at least he tried to put some thought into it and get something that he thought you would get the use of

OP you have every right to be mightily pissed off about the fruit basket "present". The most important thing now is to recognise his actions for what they truly are - patriarchal oppression. You must ensure that the holiday is totally and utterly ruined. Smell the fruit. Dwell upon its ripeness rapidly rotting. It is a valuable symbol of life!

If you choose to stay with this man - make sure you use every single anniversary from now on to remimd him of your disappointment in him. This is the ONLY way he'll learn.

Could you peel it. Cook it and freeze. I know you haven’t much time but a coulis is lovely with ice cream. You sound tired. Once you are away. It will be better.

I think it’s a bit of an odd choice, especially if you’re not a big fruit fan. I love fruit though, please tell us what’s in it and make me more jealous than I already am.

Also, and I don’t think you have actually done this OP, but are there really grown adults who would tell someone they don’t like the gift they have been given? And maybe even go further and tell them to change it/get rid of it? Weird. I recently had to have a stern word with 4yo DS about always saying thank you and not being rude about gifts which might be a bit disappointing, which he took on board.

I'm with OP - I'd be unimpressed. I'm not a massive fruit eater but at 7 weeks pregnant I couldn't face fruit at all (not uncommon if you suffer from sickness!) and to me, fruit is something you buy with the groceries not a gift.

I think it's very thoughtful, but you don't like it and that's also ok.

You are pregnant and have a child of weaning age. He probably thought it would help with munchies, it's refreshing and doesn't generally give heartburn. Your 7 month old can have a go at some pieces too. They are usually expensive and he probably saw them whilst browsing for flowers and thought it was a much better present. You might not be keen but I think it shows thought. I'd hint that it's a lot of fruit to go through and next year be more specific about what you would like. DH and I follow the list of anniversary gifts just for fun and then go out for dinner. There's never a lot of expectation on the gift itself. Sometimes we top it up with something extra if we have more cash. Probably get more at Christmas or birthdays.

If you don't reckon it'll get used up before it goes off, then surely it's your husband's job to deal with it so freezing and chopping and all that.

Otherwise, fuck that for a laugh, he's just made more work for you so it's hardly something to be grateful for.

@clicketyclick66 I love that😂

It is an unusual present but I would actually prefer it to a Michelin starred meal. That will quite likely be some pretentious food which I wouldn't enjoy.

Seeing as it seems to be common practice that couples don't buy each other anniversary presents I think you should be pleased that your DH did buy you something.

Me and DH have been married almost 40 years and we still buy each other a card and a present. We also go out for a nice meal and sometimes go away.

I had a shit watering can for my 10th wedding anniversary so could have been worse

So he got something for you, and you got something for you - who's the disappointed one again?

Seems like a thoughtful gift that unfortunately missed the mark...

I think I'd be thankful but try to gently tell him that I don't like it...?

I'd like a fruit basket... If it contained my favourite fruits.

Btw, did the OP already mentioned what she got him?

If you don't reckon it'll get used up before it goes off, then surely it's your husband's job to deal with it so freezing and chopping and all that.

I do however 100% agree with that.

My DH doesn't really cook but he would still manage to do that. Not saying yours doesn't but it really is easy / something most adults should be able to do easily.
Also, I've just seen what the OP got her DH.

Wow, your DH sounds thoughtful and you sound really ungrateful. You obviously lapped up the earrings and probably gave him a hard time about the photos and the fruit...

I can't imagine being so grabby that I felt someone's gift wasn't good enough, that I wanted more. Especially not a gift from someone I loved.

But it seems people are like this, they will look at someone's gift snd think, no I want more, it's not good enough for me.

I'd never wish to be that person. I'd have a quite think op about what sort of person you are op, when you're sitting there complaining your gift just isn't good enough.

Are we supposed to buy each other gifts on our anniversary?!

What the fuck?! I never knew, does everyone do this? Surely that’s not the norm?

Birthdays are hard enough, not to mention that mother/Father’s Day bollocks that’s supposedly from the kids. We’re supposed to buy anniversary gifts as well?!

No!

@JustVent

Yes...? Well, at least imo. :)

Gifts for the mother on the DC's birthday are "normal" as well, aren't they? (At least for my family. Idk how it's "done" in the UK... Is this normal in the UK?)

YANBU.

You obviously put a lot of thought and effort into your gift and he repays you with some supermarket basics.

Is he always this selfish, OP?

Have I read that correctly? Gifts for me when it’s the DC’s birthday?!

Have I read that correctly? Gifts for me when it’s the DC’s birthday?!

Well, I don't know! I've certainly never received one. And what's more - it makes perfect sense - it's us that busted our arses vaginas and stomach muscles giving birth to them. We deserve the presents

@JustVent

Yes. Well, not from the children's friends etc. But certainly from your DH/their father. Maybe also from your children or people that are close to you and your children?

Now that’s just ridiculous. Next you’ll be suggesting we all buy gifts for a baby before it’s even born.